


Navigating Misfortune

by wickedlupin



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Family, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Witch Curses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:02:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 43,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25111321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedlupin/pseuds/wickedlupin
Summary: On the road to finding himself, Jude picks up an unlucky hitchhiker. Several stops are added to the itinerary, and Jude's old Honda Prelude becomes the chariot to breaking a thousand year blood curse.
Relationships: Elle Mel Marta & Ludger Will Kresnik, Jude Mathis & Ludger Will Kresnik & Ivar, Jude Mathis/Ludger Will Kresnik, Julius Will Kresnik & Ludger Will Kresnik, Ludger Will Kresnik & Elize Lutus
Comments: 83
Kudos: 33





	1. Luckless Vagabond

Ludger was tired of walking. He had lost the sole of his left shoe about a mile back, and there was nowhere in sight in either direction where he could find some sort of replacement. He was truly in the middle of nowhere, with the heat beating down on the back of his neck.

So he kept going forward.

If he had a final destination in mind, maybe that would make the trip easier, but he hadn’t a clue where he was going. With his luck, he knew continuing this journey would be futile. The curse in his blood would prevent him from finding any way to break it, no matter how he tried. But still, he kept walking, until his left sock was worn thin.

Behind him, in the distance, he heard the roar of a car engine. He stumbled to a stop, hooding his eyes with his hand to try and see where he had come from, blocking out the sun’s glare. An old, silver Honda was trekking steadily down the hill, about a half mile behind him. It looked like it was probably a couple decades old, on its last legs, with little chance of functioning air conditioning. Even so, the idea of sitting in a car instead of slowly ambling down the road with only one shoe struck him with an intense sense of longing.

As the car approached, Ludger decided to take a chance, even though taking chances never worked out in his favor. He stuck out his thumb, knowing full well the car would pass him up, or even more likely, plow him over. To his surprise, the car slowed down as it neared the bottom of the hill. Ludger took a hesitant step back, bracing for whatever bad thing could possibly throw itself at him, but the car simply rolled to a stop beside him.

Inside the car, a young man struggled to manually crank down the window. It rolled down about an inch and then got stuck. There was light panic on his face, until he gave up and just opened the car door.

“Hi. You… need a ride?”

His voice was gentle, and was almost enough for Ludger to let his guard down. It filled him with a sense of relief, like cool water rushing over his sun-beaten body. “If you don’t mind, I’d appreciate it.”

“Where are you headed?”

Ludger opened his mouth, but no answer came out. He shook his head. “I’m… not really sure,” he finally provided.

The man’s amber eyes softened in understanding. “I can relate,” he said. Ludger wasn’t so sure he understood the situation, but his ability to empathize put him even more at ease. “I’m heading to Sharilton, if you want to tag along. I wouldn’t mind the company.”

Ludger nodded quickly. “Please.”

“Hop in,” the man said, and closed the car door with a light slam.

Ludger walked around to the passenger side, but hesitated with his hand on the door handle. Things were going too well. The fact that this guy stopped for him at all suggested that something bad would happen along the way—and yet, Ludger didn’t think he seemed like the murdering type. If he really was just a nice guy, he would likely share in Ludger’s misfortune. He felt a little bad, but that was just a risk he’d have to take. He’d been taking it his whole life, as it was. He opened the car door and sat down, slipping his backpack off to hold it in his lap.

“I’m Jude,” the man introduced himself, starting the engine back up. The car sounded _tired._ Ludger braced for it to blow, but it rumbled to life, and he almost sighed in relief.

“Ludger,” he responded, worrying the strap of his pack between his fingers.

“Nice to meet you, Ludger.”

He nodded. He was grateful to find that the old car did, in fact, have a working A/C. The cool air hit his face, and he sat back in his seat a bit. “Likewise. Thanks for picking me up.”

Jude nodded, looking vaguely embarrassed. “Yeah, well… what happened to your shoe?”

Ludger felt heat rise to his cheeks. “It just fell apart. Shortly after I set out today.”

“And you just kept going?”

Ludger shrugged. What was the point of going back, when the same thing, or something worse, would just come to him anyway?

“Where are you coming from?” Jude’s voice held pure curiosity. Ludger trusted him—and even if he shouldn’t, it wouldn’t make much of a difference.

“...Trigleph, initially.”

“Trigleph?! You didn’t walk the whole way, did you?”

He rubbed the back of his head. “Well, most of the way. I’ve just been… wandering for a while.”

There was naive compassion written all over Jude’s face. “Are you looking for something?”

“Yeah… something.”

“Me too.” Jude’s voice took on a solemn sort of note. Ludger adjusted to set his backpack at his feet, getting a little more comfortable for the ride.

“What’s in Sharilton?”

“Some friends. It’s not my final destination—I’m heading for Marksburg. I’m just stopping by to see some people along the way.”

“That’s nice. A road trip by yourself?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“What are you hoping to find in Marksburg, then?”

Jude hesitated, his eyebrows furrowing as the steady rhythm of the engine filled his momentary silence. “I don’t know. A friend of mine recently moved there. I guess I’m hoping I’ll find whatever she found.”

“You’re planning on moving there, too?”

“Not exactly. I mean… maybe. I don’t know. I just wanted to get away from everything, and think about where I really want to go.”

“Where are you coming from?”

“Fennmont. I just graduated from med school there.”

“Wow, impressive. Congrats.”

Jude took one hand off the wheel and rubbed the back of his head. “Thanks. I don’t know if it’s what I really want to do, though.”

“Yikes. It’s a little late to figure that out.”

“Yeah, I know.” Jude’s shoulders sagged. “Both my parents are doctors. I’ve never really thought about doing anything else. And it’s not that I dislike medicine, I like helping people, it’s just… I feel like I’m not doing anything for me.”

Ludger blinked. “So you think by following what your friend did… that’ll be doing something for _you?_ ”

Jude visibly winced. “You have a point. I’m not really trying to _follow_ her, though… I just don’t really know where to start.”

“So this is your big, post-grad road trip to find yourself, huh?” Ludger smirked a little, and Jude laughed.

“Yeah, something like that.”

The car picked up speed as it overtook a hill, when suddenly there was a deafening bang. The car swerved as Jude struggled to control it, slamming on the breaks. Ludger clung to the seat under him, as the brakes screeched and struggled to slow them down. The car spun, and the hood took a dive for the shallow ditch beside the road, where it finally came to a stop.

Jude let out a long breath, but Ludger was still holding his. “Are you okay?” Jude asked him, reaching out and examining him, presumably for any signs of injury.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Ludger assured him. “What about you?”

“I’m okay,” Jude confirmed, unbuckling his seat belt so he could carefully open his door. “I think my tire blew out.”

Probably Ludger’s fault. _Definitely_ Ludger’s fault. He climbed out of the car to look at the damage beside Jude. The tire was barely a tire anymore—a huge chunk of it was completely missing. Ludger looked further up the hill in the direction they had come, and spotted shreds of black trailing behind them.

Jude sighed, but didn’t seem particularly upset. “At least there was no one else on the road. No one was hurt.”

Ludger was impressed by Jude’s optimism. He supposed it was possible, for someone who didn’t run into this kind of shit constantly. “Do you have a spare?” he asked.

“Yeah.” Jude walked around to the trunk, but found it locked. He climbed back into the car to pop the lever, but the trunk remained firmly shut. Ludger was ready to admit defeat—when the trunk actually sprung open.

Jude crawled back out of the car again, brushing his hands off on his knees. “There. It gets stuck sometimes, it’s an old car.”

“Oh,” Ludger said stupidly. He followed Jude back around to the trunk, to help him lift out the spare tire.

“Luckily, we aren’t too far out from Sharilton,” Jude said, fitting the jack under the car’s frame. “I can get it fixed properly there.”

“Yeah,” Ludger said, sort of dryly. “Lucky.” He crouched down beside Jude to assist with the jack, unscrewing the bolts that held the destroyed tire in place.

“Have you changed a tire before?” Jude asked.

“Yeah, a few times.”

“Oh, good. I was just gonna wing it. I’m glad one of us actually knows what we’re doing.”

Ludger laughed. “When your life’s gone off the rails, you become a jack of all trades by necessity.”

Jude laughed a little with him. “Well, it sure helped me out this time. I’m lucky you’re here.”

There it was again: luck. Ludger wordlessly removed the tire, and set it on the ground beside them. He started to screw the bolts into the spare. Sharilton wasn’t that far, Jude had said, but would they make it there before they ended up with another breakdown?

When the spare was secured, Jude lowered the jack, and stepped back to admire their handiwork. “There,” he exhaled, wiping his arm across his sweaty forehead. “That’ll do the trick.”

“Mm,” Ludger agreed noncommittally.

Ludger watched Jude get back in the car, but paused again at the passenger side. Still, he opened the door and sat down, slamming the door shut with finality.

“What did you leave Trigleph for?” Jude asked once they were back on the road. “...If you don’t mind me asking.”

Ludger took a deep breath. He didn’t mind, really—if anything, he owed Jude a little explanation, but it was a tough story to dive into with a stranger. “I’m… searching for someone.”

“Someone?”

“Yeah. But I’m not sure who, so it’s sort of a pointless, blind search.”

“What do you have to go off of?”

Ludger hesitated. “I don’t know if you’ll believe me, but I’m sort of… cursed. Bad things always happen to me, without fail. I can always count on it. And not just me, it’s my whole family.”

Jude blinked, frowning at the road in front of him. “What sort of bad things?”

Shame rose within Ludger. He was used to people looking down on him for the things that happened to him, convinced that he had made poor decisions and was reaping the consequences. He rubbed the back of his head, and looked down into his lap.

“Everything you could think of. Big stuff, little stuff.” He paused, glancing sideways at Jude before continuing on. “When I was a kid, I broke just about every bone in my body. Not all at once, but all in a row. From ages eight to sixteen, I don’t have a single memory where I wasn’t in some kind of cast.”

“That… is pretty unlucky.” Jude was almost smiling, though there was still real sympathy in his voice. “But what makes you think someone cursed you?”

“That’s just one example. I’ve never kept a job more than a couple months, no matter how qualified or hardworking I am.” He winced, his next example bringing him physical pain. “I’ve accumulated about twenty million dollars in debt, mostly from medical expenses, some on credit cards from trying to survive between jobs, and… I’ve had my identity stolen _four times._ And this is still just the tip of the iceberg.”

“That’s…” Jude seemed at a loss for the first time.

“A lot?”

“A lot.” Jude nodded. “So you’re trying to find whoever cursed you?”

“Yeah. But it’s hard to make any progress when things go wrong at every turn. Your tire was… almost definitely my fault. Sorry.”

“No, you don’t have to apologize—even if it _was_ because of your curse, it’s not like you did it on purpose.”

Ludger blinked. “...Really?”

“Well, yeah. It’s not like you can just stay away from everyone forever. You needed a ride, I don’t regret helping you. You’re nice company, Ludger.”

Ludger felt heat rise to his face, and he rubbed the back of his neck. “...Thanks.” He wondered how long Jude’s hospitality would last.

“It’s just the truth. I know we just met, but… I can tell you’ve worked hard.”

“Not a lot of people tell me that,” Ludger admitted, “I really appreciate it.”

Exhaustion seemed to hit him the moment he fully relaxed. He closed his eyes for a second, leaning his head back against the headrest.

“We have a few hours before we get to Sharilton,” Jude told him. “You should sleep if you can.”

“Mm. Thanks.” Ludger barely got the words out before he felt himself dozing off, lulled by the steady rumble of the engine.


	2. Blessing

Ludger awoke to the change in noise level and vibration as the car slowed down, and moved from the cleanly paved highway onto the brick city streets. He blinked and rubbed his eyes, stretching his neck and finding it stiff on one side from the way he had it leaned against the car door. Outside the window, pale, blue-roofed buildings lined the streets.

“We just reached Sharilton,” Jude updated him, and Ludger hummed, still waking up. “My friends live on the edge of town.”

“Mm, okay. I’ll find somewhere to go from there.”

“You can stay with me, if you want.”

Ludger blinked. “I… can?”

“Sure. I know Cline and Driselle won’t mind.”

Jude was awfully trusting; naively so. Ludger wasn’t about to complain about it, though. “Thank you. I’d really appreciate that.”

“Sure.”

Ludger watched the trees and houses pass, until they approached a huge mansion. He admired the elegant pillars and crown molding, expecting them to continue past it—but Jude pulled into the fancy brick driveway.

“...Are your friends rich?” Ludger almost sputtered.

“Oh... Cline is actually the governor of Sharilton.”

Ludger whistled. “Well, aren’t you popular.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Jude said sheepishly. “They’re just nice people. I got to know them when I visited Sharilton years ago.”

Jude got out of the car and hauled his bag out of the backseat. It wasn’t very big, and didn’t seem all that suited to a long trip like he knew Jude had planned. Though, Ludger supposed he didn’t have much in his pack, either. Jude nodded his head toward the mansion, so Ludger got out to follow him, suddenly a lot more embarrassed about his exposed, filthy sock.

A young girl opened the front door before they reached it. “Jude!” she shouted, running toward them. She had to be a few years older than Elle, but seeing her childish excitement gave Ludger a pang of familiarity. He smiled, quietly watching their exchange.

“Hi, Elize. It’s good to see you again,” Jude said a little too politely.

“Who’s your friend?” Elize clasped her hands in front of her, peering up at Ludger curiously.

“This is Ludger. We met on the road.”

Ludger raised his hand in a somewhat awkward greeting. It was at this point that the girl’s eyes traveled down to his feet. “...What happened to your shoe?”

Ludger stifled a sigh. “It broke,” he said simply.

“Oh, no! Come inside, I’m sure Cline has a pair of shoes you can wear…”

Borrowing shoes from the governor of Sharilton was one turn of events he never saw coming. Jude nudged his shoulder lightly, and Ludger blinked back into focus. “Oh, I uh… thanks.” He followed Jude and Elize inside the mansion, looking around at the vast interior.

“Cline and Rowen are meeting with the governor of Kanbalar right now,” Elize informed them, “But they’ll join us in a little while. Driselle is—”

“Jude!” a young woman shouted, descending the grand staircase. “I’m glad you made it! Come put your things down, and I’ll make some tea. Oh—! And your friend, too! Elly, will you show them to the guest room?”

Ludger sputtered a bit, unused to such unquestioning hospitality. Jude and his friends were certainly similar. “Um, thank you for having me,” Ludger said quickly.

“Of course! Any friend of Jude’s is welcome, the more the merrier!”

Elize was already climbing the stairs. “The guest room is up here! You’ll have to share one, though—Kanbalar’s governor is staying in the other one.”

“That’s not a problem,” Jude answered quickly, then stopped himself, looking to Ludger. “...As long as you don’t mind?”

“Of course,” Ludger blurted out, shaking his head. “I don’t mind at all—thank you.”

Elize opened the guest room door, revealing another vast room with two large beds and beautiful wood furnishings. “Wow, yeah,” Ludger said out loud, “I don’t mind this one bit.”

Jude laughed, and set his bag down at the foot of one bed. Ludger did the same with his backpack, and shamefully took off his shoes.

“I’ll ask Cline to get you a pair later,” Elize promised, and Ludger felt himself blush.

“Sure. I appreciate it, if he doesn’t mind.”

Elize smiled warmly at him. “He won’t mind! Cline is really nice.” She left the room to go back downstairs ahead of them. Ludger heard Jude chuckle behind him.

“She’s right, though—Cline is a good man. He and Driselle adopted Elize, and they govern Sharilton fairly, with the people in mind. I’m sure lending you a pair of shoes won’t be a problem.”

Ludger wasn’t really sure what to say to that. He just nodded, following Jude downstairs again. On the sitting room table, a steaming, porcelain kettle sat among four matching teacups that were designed as though flames were still licking them. Driselle smiled brightly at them as they entered her view.

“I’m Driselle Sharil,” she introduced herself, a bit late, Ludger thought. “What’s your name? I didn’t know Jude was bringing a friend!”

“I’m Ludger,” he answered, and Jude filled in the rest for him.

“Ludger and I just met on my way here—he needed a ride, and a place to stay. I should have called ahead to let you know though… sorry.”

“Oh, no, don’t worry about it. That just means we have another friend to share tea with! Right, Elly?”

Elize nodded. She now had a purple plush doll that she clutched tightly to her chest, taking a seat on the couch close to Driselle. “Right!”

Ludger could immediately tell how close they were. It brought a smile to his face.

Ludger sat next to Jude, on the other couch across from the two girls. He picked up the steaming tea, and took a sip. The warm, fragrant liquid seemed to open him up, filling him with an ease that spread all the way to his fingertips. This was a family very different from the one he knew, but it was _family._ It was warm and full of love and support. His heart ached for the times he had spent sitting at a table like this with Elle and Julius.

“What brings you to Sharilton, Ludger?” Driselle asked, leaning forward in her seat, eyes sparkling with curiosity.

“Oh, I—” Before Ludger could answer, the handle broke off of his teacup, sending the full cup of hot liquid into his lap. He jumped up quickly as it burned his thighs.

Driselle and Elize hopped up with him. “Oh, my!” Driselle shouted, “I’m so sorry, the cup must have been cracked! Are you hurt?”

“No, don’t worry, it’s fine,” Ludger insisted, stifling his hiss of pain. He sat back down, but failed in concealing his wince as his wet pants rubbed against his burning legs.

“Driselle, do you have a first aid kit?” Jude asked.

“Yes, in the hall closet next to the bathroom—I’ll get some dry pants from Cline’s dresser, too.”

Ludger’s usual shame was overshadowed by the pleasure of being cared for. It was still embarrassing, sure, but he briefly allowed himself to revel in the feeling of having others to rely on.

Elize took Jude’s abandoned seat beside him and sat close, taking his arm. “Does it hurt?” she asked him kindly.

“It’s not that bad,” Ludger assured her, but she closed her eyes and rested her head against his arm. He blinked down at her, and the sting in his legs seemed to ebb.

His mouth dropped open. He gingerly placed a hand on one thigh, but only a dull ache met his touch. “Did you… do something?” he asked. Elize opened her eyes, and quickly shook her head.

“I only wished for your pain to go away,” she answered innocently.

Ludger’s mind spun in awe. Being cursed himself, he had never ran into an individual who he could only describe as _blessed._

Jude returned and offered an arm to Ludger. “Can you walk? I’ll help you upstairs to have a look at your burns.”

“Oh—thanks.” Ludger took his arm, as Elize released his other one. “I think Elize just healed me, though.”

The girl blushed. “Oh, no, I didn’t! I don’t know how… I just made a wish, really, that’s all.”

The concern on Jude’s face only seemed to grow. “It stopped hurting?”

“Well, yeah…”

“Let me take a look,” he insisted, and Ludger rose from the couch to follow him.

“Yeah, alright.”

Jude took Ludger’s arm and put it around his shoulders, but it seemed he didn’t have any trouble walking. The pain in his legs really had disappeared. Still, he accepted Jude’s help, and went with him up the stairs to their shared guest room.

“You’ll need to take off your pants,” Jude told him, with all the air of a professional.

“Right.” Ludger wasn’t bothered, until he unbuttoned his pants and remembered he was wearing bright pink boxers. Could he blame this on the curse? Sure. That had to be why his cheeks were now the exact shade as his underwear.

Ludger dropped his pants, and sat on the edge of one of the beds. Jude either didn’t think anything of the color, or was polite enough not to say anything. Probably the latter. Jude was a nice guy. He knelt down in front of Ludger to get a good look at the burns that definitely _were_ still present, even though Ludger couldn’t feel them. His thighs were an angry shade of red, with light blisters forming on his right, where the tea had initially hit the hottest.

Jude actually looked relieved. “Oh, these aren’t too bad.”

“Did you think they’d be worse?”

“You worried me a little when you said you couldn’t feel them. It made me think you might have nerve damage, but this is only second degree at its worst, and it’s not too big.”

“Oh. Yeah, they were only a little painful, until Elize sat with me. Then it just… went away.”

Jude’s brows knit together in thought. “That’s… really interesting. Could it be psychological?”

Ludger shrugged, and Jude shook his head, digging around in the first aid kit instead. “I’m going to clean the area in case any of the blisters rupture, to avoid infection, and then I’ll apply some burn cream. After that, it should mostly heal in a few days.”

“Sure. Thanks, Jude.”

Jude smiled up at him, then opened up an alcohol swab. “It might sting a little,” he warned, and rubbed it gently over the affected area. Still, he experienced no pain. Jude glanced up at his face for signs of discomfort, and chuckled at Ludger’s blank expression. “Well, I’m glad you’re not in any pain, whatever the cause.”

He opened a bottle of ointment, then gently began massaging it onto Ludger’s thighs. His hands were rougher than Ludger had expected, sort of calloused and dry, but his touch was gentle, like all of his kindness and care was pouring out through his palms.

Was this what happened when a blessing met a curse? No pain, but you’re sitting in your pink underwear with an attractive stranger rubbing your thighs. Could be worse, he supposed.

When the ointment was applied, Jude got to his feet. “That should help.” He handed Ludger a pair of clean, dry pants. “Here, Driselle left me with these for you. She brought you some shoes, too.” He gestured to the shoes by the door.

“Thanks,” Ludger said again, taking the pants and stepping into them. They were a bit too long, but fit around his waist well enough. He concealed his brightly colored underwear once again, avoiding Jude’s eyes despite the fact it had been a non-issue.

“Driselle said we’ll be having dinner soon. Do you want to go back down?”

“Oh, sure.” Ludger was surprised Jude was asking what he wanted to do. Once again, he followed Jude down the stairs. Instead of finding only Driselle and Elize where they had left them, now there were three men in the sitting room with them.

“Ah, Jude,” the oldest of the men said, “The young miss told us you’d arrived, but your companion was injured?”

 _Companion._ That was sort of nice, even if it wouldn’t last.

“Just an unfortunate accident, but nothing too bad. Right?” Jude’s eyes met Ludger’s, and he nodded quickly, rubbing the back of his head.

“Right. Jude fixed me up,” he confirmed.

“I’m glad to hear it. My name is Rowen, I serve house Sharil, and assist Lord Cline as his advisor.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Ludger.” He glanced at the other two men. One of them was tall, dark, and terrifying. The other very much resembled Driselle; it was easy to pick out which one of them was her brother. “You must be Cline,” Ludger said to the younger man. “Thank you for lending me your clothes—and letting me stay here.”

“Of course. I’m glad we could help, especially when an accident like that happened in our home.”

“Oh, really, don’t worry about that,” Ludger insisted. “I have a, uh, firm grip. It’s no one’s fault but my own. I should be sorry I broke your cup.”

“Don’t be silly!” Driselle interjected. “It’s only a cup. Your well-being is worth much more.”

“...I suppose so. Thanks.”

“This is Governor Gaius, of Kanbalar,” Cline introduced, and Jude extended a hand to the huge, scary man.

“It’s an honor to meet you,” Jude told him. Gaius took a moment to evaluate Jude, then took his hand firmly and shook it.

“It’s always an honor to meet this country’s people,” the man said, in a deep, booming voice.

“I’ll be serving dinner in just over an hour,” Rowen announced to them all.

“Please, let me cook,” Ludger interjected suddenly, struck with inspiration. “You’ve all done so much for me. It’s the least I can do.”

“You cook, Ludger?” Jude asked, and Ludger nodded.

“I’m… not skilled in many areas. But I can say I’m good at cooking. I was a professional chef before I left home.”

“Oh, my, well I’m sure you’ll outperform my skills,” Rowen laughed. “By all means, I would appreciate the assistance, if you desire to show us your talent.”

Ludger nodded determinedly.

“Well, please excuse us,” Rowen said to the others. “We’ll have dinner prepared shortly.”

“Do your best!” Elize said to Ludger with a bright smile. He felt his heart melt a little, and grinned back at her.

“You got it!”

Rowen led the way to the kitchen. It was enormous, with seemingly endless supplies and ingredients. There was significantly more to work with here than he had ever had at home. He could do _anything._

“What were you planning on preparing for tonight?” Ludger inquired, admiring the clean, vast marble counter tops.

“Roasted lamb with a balsamic glaze, and a side of carrots and mashed potatoes. But please, _you_ are the professional here, you may tweak that however you see fit.”

Ludger shook his head. “That’s a solid dish. Mind if I get started?”

“Of course not, please lead the way.”

  


* * *

  


Rowen was certainly well-versed in the kitchen, as well. It felt natural to team up with him; he happily followed Ludger’s instructions and advice, completely disregarding the fact that he was so much younger.

Ludger couldn’t remember the last time he’d had so much fun. Cooking was the one area he really felt freedom in. He wasn’t immune to his bad luck in any hobby he picked up, but he’d persisted enough with cooking that it was at least easier to anticipate the misfortunes that would arise. He had become a master of watching hot stoves and boiling water.

When they plated up the meals and brought seven servings out to the dining table, Ludger was more than pleased with their combined efforts.

“It smells so good!” Elize exclaimed as everyone gathered and took their seats.

“It looks exquisite, as well,” Gaius agreed, and Ludger smirked proudly.

“Ludger taught me all sorts of new things,” Rowen bragged on him, smiling broadly. “This old dog can learn new tricks, after all.”

“Thank you very much for preparing this,” Cline said sincerely.

Ludger nodded. “I’m glad I could do this for you, if nothing else.” He met Jude’s eyes, and found himself blushing at the obvious pride he found there. He had only known Jude for mere hours, yet seeing him smile at him with such fulfillment made him almost _giddy._

“Oh, yum!” Driselle exclaimed, having taken the first bite. “You really must be a professional, I feel like I’m dining at a five star restaurant!”

Ludger’s cocky grin finally morphed into an embarrassed blush, and he rubbed his neck. “Well, I actually did work at one for a little while.”

“Really?” Elize asked excitedly. “That’s so cool! Why aren’t you there anymore?”

“It, uh, didn’t work out.” He’d been accused of theft, and fired without rights to unemployment. It hadn’t even phased him—by that point in his life, being fired was anticipated shortly after acquiring a job.

“Are you staying in Sharilton, or just passing through, like Jude is?” Driselle asked.

“Just passing through.”

“So where are you headed?”

Ludger felt Jude’s eyes on him, and he fiddled with his fork. “I’m not really sure yet.”

“You sound very much like Jude,” Rowen said, eyes gleaming. “Perhaps the two of you will stumble upon the right path together.”

“That would be nice,” Jude said, just as Ludger was opening his mouth the refute it. Ludger blinked.

“What—really?”

Jude blushed a little, busying himself with cutting his meat into bite-sized pieces. “I told you, you’re nice company,” he mumbled.

“You’re on your way to visit Leia, right Jude?” Elize interjected, and Jude nodded.

“Yeah, that’s my final stop. I haven’t seen her in a long time.”

“Where else do you plan on visiting along the way?” Rowen asked.

“Duval, to see Alvin… and wherever else calls out to me, I guess. I don’t really have a plan, to be honest.”

“That’s a fine way to travel,” Rowen said with an air of wisdom, “so long as you are finding yourself, and not losing yourself.”

“Will you go with him?” Elize asked Ludger, smiling brightly at him across the table.

“I…” Ludger glanced sideways at Jude. “Until I figure out where I need to be going, if he doesn’t mind…”

Jude smiled at him, and Ludger returned it somewhat sheepishly.

“Great!” Elize exclaimed, “We’re all friends, then!”

Ludger’s smile grew. “Thanks for looking out for me, Elize. You’re a good friend.”

Elize’s cheeks turned pink, and she looked just delighted. “I’m happy to help!”

“How are your legs, Ludger?” Cline intervened, “Will you be fit to travel? You can stay here as long as you need.”

“Oh, no, I’m fine,” Ludger insisted, shaking his head quickly. “I’ll stay as long as Jude does, but I’m not in any pain, thanks to Elize.”

“You helped him, Elly?” Driselle inquired.

Elize nodded. “I wished for his pain to go away—I’m glad it worked!”

Ludger caught Rowen’s eye, and the old man smiled at him knowingly. “Are you curious about the young miss’s gift?” he asked.

Ludger nodded. “Yes. Elize… do you mind if I ask you a little about it?”

Elize seemed a little embarrassed, but she nodded. “I don’t mind…”

Ludger hoped he wasn’t being insensitive. He rolled the words over on his tongue before finally voicing them. “Do you know… if anyone else in your family had the same gift?”

Elize ducked her head, and Ludger inwardly cringed. “I don’t know anything about my parents,” she said quietly. Driselle reached over and rubbed her back.

“That’s okay,” Ludger said quickly, “I’m sorry to bring it up… I only ask because something sort of similar runs in my family.”

Jude’s forehead was scrunched in thought, listening intently to the exchange. Ludger briefly wondered if he had actually believed in his curse until now.

Elize lifted her face again, curiosity written all over it. “Really? You think it could have come from my parents, then?”

“It’s possible,” Ludger said, glad to see that her attitude had shifted. “Maybe they wished enough good fortune on you, that it gave you the ability to wish it on others, too.”

Elize placed one hand on her chest, smiling to herself. “Maybe… maybe they did…” She sat forward in her seat, hungry for more information. “Is that what happened in your family, Ludger? Did your parents wish good fortune on you, too?”

Ludger laughed awkwardly, rubbing his neck. “No, not exactly… I’m not so lucky. You have a nice blessing, but my family has a curse.” Elize’s face fell.

“What do you mean, a curse?” Cline asked. He had finished his meal, and sat with his arms crossed.

Ludger sighed. “Everything that could go wrong, does go wrong. Take, for example, the teacup that broke in my hand earlier. Maybe there was a tiny crack no one noticed, maybe there wasn’t. But if any of them were to break, the universe made sure I was the one to get that one. And if none of them would have broken without me there… well, the universe took care of it, anyway.”

“Is the curse from… your parents?” Elize asked fearfully.

Ludger shook his head. “I don’t think so, mine goes back further than that. But actually, I’m like you, Elize—I never knew my parents. My brother raised me.”

At the end of the table, Gaius hummed deeply in thought. Ludger glanced at him as if to ask what he might want to add, but the man resumed his silence. Elize seemed inspired by their solidarity.

“Ludger, are you good at making desserts, too?” the young girl asked suddenly.

“Sure,” Ludger answered, taken by surprise.

“I want to make a fancy dessert for everyone. Will you help me? If your curse gets in the way at all, I’ll just use my blessing to cancel it out!”

Ludger chuckled. “Sure, let’s do it.”

  


* * *

  


It was late by the time everyone finished dessert. Most everyone retired to their bedrooms, but Ludger returned to the kitchen once more, intent on cleaning up the mess they had left. He was surprised to find that Rowen was already there, quietly scrubbing down the dishes. Ludger fell in line beside him, taking the dishes to dry them and return them to where he had found them earlier.

“It was very nice of you to spend so much time with Miss Elize,” Rowen said, breaking their silence. “I know she very much enjoyed it.”

Ludger smiled, turning a bowl slowly in his hands to wipe it dry. “I enjoyed it, too. She reminds me of my daughter.”

“You have a daughter?” Jude’s voice echoed behind them. Ludger turned around to look at him. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to butt in.”

“No need to apologize,” Rowen said, with a twinkle in his eye. “Perhaps you came to join our assembly line?”

“Yeah. Need some help?” Jude stepped in between them, taking the job of rinsing the dishes from Rowen, before passing them on to Ludger.

“Much appreciated,” Rowen praised him.

“...How old is your daughter?” Jude asked, his elbow bumping lightly against Ludger’s.

“She’s eight,” Ludger answered, “but I haven’t seen her in a couple years.”

“Where is she?”

“In Drellin, with her mother’s family. They took her from me after my wife passed away, and I… didn’t have a chance of winning custody, thanks to my curse.”

“I’m sure you miss her dearly,” Rowen sympathized.

“Of course I do. I want to hope she’s doing well, but… I know she has the same curse I do. I wish I could be there for her.”

“Is that the real reason you’re searching for the source of the curse?” Jude asked, carefully handing Ludger another dish.

“Yeah. I don’t want her to have to live like I have. And… if the curse is broken, maybe I can be with her again.”

“She’s lucky to have such a great dad fighting for her,” Jude said earnestly.

Ludger chuckled. “You keep saying things like that… that we’re _lucky._ I don’t think we’ve ever been able to use that word before.”

Jude smiled. “Well, maybe you have a point. It’s not really because of luck, is it? It’s all because of your love for Elle that you’re working so hard. No streak of bad luck can take that from you.”

“Oh, those are some very wise words,” Rowen said, pulling the plug from the sink to allow the soapy water to drain. Jude rinsed the final plate, and passed it to Ludger, who dried it and set it on the stack he had accumulated.

“You’re right. It doesn’t matter what I have to go through, or how long it takes me to find what I’m looking for. It doesn’t matter if I _never_ get there. As long as it’s for Elle, I’ll keep trying.”

A deep voice rang out through the kitchen, taking Ludger by surprise again. “So, you really don’t have any direction on where to start?” He turned to find Gaius standing in the doorway.

“Am I supposed to know?” Ludger challenged, crossing his own arms to match Gaius’s stance. The taller man smiled, but the hardened look of determination remained etched into his features, unmoving.

“My first guess is that you’re looking for a witch,” he proposed.

“A witch?” Jude echoed, curiosity pouring from him. Gaius nodded once.

“I’ve known others who have been cursed, similar to what you’ve described,” he explained. “Where there is a curse, especially one strong enough to last through generations, there is always a powerful witch behind it.”

This was the first information Ludger had been provided. He grasped onto it instantly, turning it over in his mind. “Do you know how I can trace it back to the witch who cast it?”

“That, I do not know,” Gaius said, shaking his head slowly. “However, I am acquainted with a very powerful witch who may be able to provide you the information you seek.”

“Where can I find them?” Ludger’s heart was pounding.

“Nia Khera.”

“I wouldn’t have guessed you were so familiar with the dealings of magic,” Rowen prodded.

“I take interest in all the many people of this country. It is one of the reasons I dropped out of the presidential race—I feared I would become out of touch with them.”

“How honorable of you,” Rowen said, with no hint of sarcasm.

“Take my number,” Gaius said to Ludger, offering him a slip of paper with ten digits written neatly across it. “Should you need direction, I will be happy to assist, however I may.”

Ludger’s mouth dropped open, and he struggled to find words as his mind spun. “Er, thank you,” he managed.

Gaius nodded once more. “Her name is Muzét,” he offered, then turned and left the kitchen the same way he had come.

“It’s not every day you’re offered help by a former presidential candidate,” Jude said. Ludger quickly turned and shoved the paper Gaius had given him into Jude’s hand.

“Please hold onto this for me. Put it in your phone. If I keep it, it’ll get lost, I guarantee it.”

Jude smiled, enclosing the tiny slip of paper in his palm and holding onto it tightly. “That means I’ll have to stay with you to help, doesn’t it?”

Ludger blinked. “Oh, well…”

“Please let me join you,” Jude interjected, before Ludger could formulate a thought. “I’ll take you to Nia Khera, and we’ll find the witch Gaius told you about.”

“You said you were headed for Duval next,” Ludger argued, “that’s the opposite direction.”

“I’ll make it to Duval eventually, Alvin isn’t going anywhere. I want to help you get back to Elle.”

Ludger felt a lump rise in his throat as Jude raised a fist. Never, in his cursed twenty-eight years of life, had he received so much support. He raised his own fist, and knocked it against Jude’s.

“Please come with me.”


	3. Friends

Ludger hadn’t slept so well in years; the soft mattress and plush comforter were pure bliss. When he woke, bright rays of sunshine were peeking through the crack in the drawn curtains. He turned over, blankets drawn up to cover half his face, and peeked over at the other bed to see if Jude was awake.

The bed was disheveled, the covers twisted up and left messily unmade, but there was no body in it. Ludger yawned and sat up. When his eyes finally landed on the clock on the wall, he found it was half past eleven—not absurdly late, but late enough to feel a little embarrassed when he was a guest in the governor’s residence.

He dragged himself reluctantly from the warmth and comfort of the bed. As anxious as he was to reach Nia Khera, he couldn’t help but hope they would stay in Sharilton for at least one more night.

Downstairs, Ludger found Elize, Driselle, and Cline seated on the jade green couches where they had shared tea the day before.

“Good morning!” Elize piped up upon Ludger’s appearance. Ludger smiled sheepishly.

“Morning. I barely made it.”

“You’ve had a long journey, no one can blame you for resting as long as you need,” Cline said.

Ludger relaxed. “Thanks.” He glanced around, but his dark-haired companion didn’t seem to be about. “Where’s Jude?”

“He went into town with Rowen to have his tire fixed,” Driselle told him, “He didn’t want to wake you, but we saved you some breakfast! I’ll heat it up for you.” She hopped up and disappeared into the kitchen.

“Thank you!” Ludger called after her, awkwardly sitting down in the chair that hadn’t been occupied.

Cline returned his attention to a small, paperback book he held in his lap.

“Have you been to Sharilton before, Ludger?” Elize asked, excitement in her voice.

“No, this is my first time here.”

The girl beamed. “We should go out shopping, while you wait for Jude to come back! There are lots of shops in town, it’s really fun to look around!”

Ludger chuckled. “Sure, if you don’t mind spending the day with me.”

“Of course! I like spending time with you.”

Driselle returned with a tray of eggs, toast, and jam, and handed it to Ludger. “I’m sure it’s not nearly as good as what you could cook yourself,” she said, laughing a little.

“Oh, no, it looks great,” Ludger insisted, balancing the tray on his lap. “Thank you.”

“Driselle,” Elize interjected, her childish excitement spilling over, “Can we go shopping in town today? I want to show Ludger around!”

“Oh, that’s a great idea!” Driselle exclaimed, clapping her hands together.

Cline placed a marker in his book, and set it aside on the table. “I’ll come, too,” he said, “I haven’t been out on the town in a while. Gaius inspired me—I need to spend more time among the people of Sharilton.”

“It’d be a pleasure to be shown around by you three,” Ludger said, still a bit embarrassed. “What a way to experience Sharilton for the first time, with the Sharils themselves.”

Driselle laughed. “You flatter us too much, Ludger! Come on, let’s get ready. We can have lunch while we’re out, and be back here in time for dinner!”

  


* * *

  


Sharilton was a beautiful town, paved and lined with soft, pale brick. It was clearly well cared for, visible both in the construction of the town itself, as well as in the smiling faces of the people on the streets.

Elize took Ludger’s arm and dragged him all over the town, pointing out different shops and explaining why she liked to visit them, what she had bought there before, and which shopkeepers recognized her when she stopped by to say hello. It was nothing like where Ludger was from—Trigleph was run down, busy and bustling. If you didn’t move out of the way quickly enough, you’d be plowed over. In Sharilton, everyone seemed to know each other, and care for one another. Ludger’s heart reached out for that sense of community he’d never really known.

Driselle was almost as excited as Elize was, gushing over the different pieces of art and pottery they came across. Cline, on the other hand, seemed much less interested in wares, and more focused on the people around him. From what he had said before, Ludger had the impression he didn’t leave the mansion much—but his interactions with regular people on the streets seemed quite the opposite. Everyone they encountered adored Cline, and spoke to him politely, but in a friendly manner.

“Oh, in here!” Elize exclaimed, pulling him by the wrist again. “I love this shop!”

They entered a quaint toy store, filled mostly with old fashioned wooden toys and plush animals. There were hints of more modern appliances among the shelves, but overall, it seemed to be marketing a simpler brand of nostalgia.

At the back of the shop, there was a mountain of plush dolls and animals that rose up the wall. “This is where I got Teepo!” Elize informed him, hugging her plush companion closer to her chest. “He’s been with me ever since!”

Ludger’s eyes landed on a pink plush rabbit halfway up the pile. He felt a familiar tug in his chest. Elize tried to follow his gaze, looking back and forth between Ludger and the pile.

“Which one are you looking at?” she asked curiously.

“Oh—the Bunnykins.”

“You know Bunnykins?” She blinked in surprise.

“Well, sort of. My daughter always wanted one, but we didn’t have the money for it.”

Elize grew quiet, her own eyes landing on the plush. “Your daughter…” she mused. She clenched her fists determinedly, and suddenly turned to run back to the front of the shop. “Wait here!”

Ludger was taken aback, but did as he was told. He sighed, and picked up another stuffed animal—a cross-eyed frog. It made him chuckle.

Elize returned with Cline, Driselle, and a shopkeeper. She pointed emphatically to the Bunnykins. “That one!”

The shopkeeper took out a step stool from behind the counter, and climbed it to reach the pink rabbit, handing it down to Elize. She grinned, passing it on to Ludger.

“Here!” she said, “We want to get this for your daughter!”

Ludger sputtered. “I... I can’t accept this, you’ve all done so much for me already…”

“It’s not for you to accept, silly,” Driselle chimed in, “It’s for your daughter! If she has your luck, I bet she’s been through a lot, too. We want to do something for her!”

“Just make sure nothing happens to it until you can give it to her, alright?” Elize grabbed Ludger’s hand and forced him to take the rabbit. “A gift from a parent can mean a lot. If she gets a Bunnykins from you, I know she’ll be happy.”

Ludger’s heart swelled. He held the stuffed rabbit to his chest. “...Thank you. Elle will love this.”

Elize gasped. “Her name is sort of similar to mine!”

“You’ll have to bring her to visit once your journey is over,” Cline said, with a gentle smile.

“I’ll be like her big sister,” Elize suggested, “I’ll play with her, and teach her all sorts of things!”

“I will,” Ludger promised, “But be warned… she’s stubborn. She might resist some of your efforts, but I’m sure she’ll appreciate them.”

Elize clutched her fists in front of her and nodded determinedly. “I’ll be a good big sister, she’ll see!”

Ludger laughed and patted her head. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Driselle approach the counter to pay the shopkeeper.

“Let’s wait for Driselle outside,” Cline suggested, “We can decide where to go for lunch while she finishes up.”

Elize nodded. “Good idea! Where do you think we should eat? We need to go somewhere good, to impress Ludger!”

Ludger chuckled. “I’m not picky,” he promised. They stepped out into the sunshine, and Ludger hooded his eyes with his hand. Just outside the door, two young boys were playing with a toy gun that Ludger remembered seeing inside. He leaned against the outside wall to the store, enjoying the warmth and company of his new friends.

He heard the bang before he saw it. Things had been going to well, somehow he had let his guard down, forgotten to keep an eye out for potential dangers around every corner—

A rock flew toward him at an incredible speed, having been improperly loaded and accidentally launched from the child’s toy gun. Instinctively, Ludger ducked. The rocked whizzed over his head, and struck Cline harshly in the side of the head.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion. Cline doubled forward, his hand flying to his head as he cried out in pain. The child that had shot the rock dropped the toy gun, staring wide-eyed in shock. Ludger shouldn’t have ducked—or rather, he shouldn’t have gone out like this with others in the first place. His rotten luck was a danger to them.

But it was too late to dwell on that now.

“Cline!” Ludger shouted, hovering over him. Driselle stepped out of the shop and gasped, rushing toward her brother as well.

“What happened?”

The children in front of the shop turned tail and ran. Ludger wasn’t worried about pursuing them—it wasn’t their fault, anyway. His curse had been the cause of the gunfire.

“A toy gun fired a rock and hit him!” Elize explained to Driselle. Cline pulled his hand away from his head—his ear was coated in blood.

Elize quickly grabbed hold of his arm and shut her eyes tight. “We need to get him to a doctor,” Ludger said, moving in to put his arm around Cline to support him.

“I’ll call Jude,” Driselle said, “Let’s hurry back home.”

  


* * *

  


Inside the mansion, Ludger lay Cline down on one of the couches. Driselle hurried to her brother’s side with a kitchen towel, applying it to his head wound to try and stanch the bleeding.

“I’m fine, Driselle, don’t worry,” Cline said, and Ludger realized Driselle was crying. Guilt clutched at him and dragged him down. This was exactly why he had spent so much time alone. What would he be inflicting on Jude, just by traveling with him?

Elize was seated on the floor beside the couch as well, with her hand on Cline’s leg. Ludger was sure she was blessing him with her gift, taking away whatever pain she could. He didn’t realize it, but he had backed away, until he was barely in the room.

“Ludger.” Cline’s voice was steady, despite his injury. Ludger blinked as all three sets of eyes turned and looked at him. “You aren’t blaming yourself, are you?”

Ludger’s gaze found the carpet. “If I hadn’t been there, the rock wouldn’t have been dislodged. And if I hadn’t ducked, it at least would have hit me instead.”

“We would have been just as distraught if you were injured, Ludger,” Driselle told him, but Ludger shook his head.

“I’m sorry, Cline. You’ve done so much for me, but… I can only repay you with misfortune.”

“Don’t say that,” Cline insisted. “You made us a wonderful meal last night, you’ve been a great friend to Elize… a great friend to all of us. It doesn’t matter how long we’ve known you.”

Before Ludger could argue further, Jude and Rowen hurried through the door. Ludger took another step back, as Jude rushed to the side of the couch, taking over for Driselle.

“I need a bowl of water, some antiseptic, and gauze,” Jude said, immediately falling into his profession. Elize hopped up to help Rowen get what he needed, while Ludger remained rooted at the edge of the room.

“...Is it bad?” he breathed, and Jude’s amber gaze found him, analyzing him and reading the situation. His expression softened, and he shook his head.

“It’s not bad. Most of the blood is from his external ear, and there doesn’t seem to be any damage to his skull. We’ll need to keep an eye on the wound to ensure he doesn’t have any hearing loss or concussion, but I don’t think it’ll come to that.”

Ludger let out a shallow breath, only part of his worry satiated.

Rowen and Elize returned with the necessary supplies, and Jude went about cleaning and bandaging the wound. Jude was right—when it was cleaned up, the wound itself really wasn’t that big. But it was still a reminder of the dangers that came from being with him.

He almost didn’t notice when Jude stood and crossed the room until he nudged his shoulder. “Hey. You okay?”

“Me?” Ludger asked, startled.

“Yeah, you.”

“I’m fine. But I don’t know if it’s a good idea for you to come with me to Nia Khera… it’ll take me longer on my own, and without a car, but I’ll get there eventually.”

Jude frowned at him. “I know it’s what you’re used to, but stop trying to bear this burden alone. Let me take some of it. I want to go with you.”

Somehow, Ludger couldn’t find the strength in him to argue. When it came down to it, he wanted to cling to Jude, to keep his company close, to have someone to rely on for once. Even if it meant inconveniencing him. Even if it meant putting him in danger. He couldn’t find the words to reply, so he merely nodded.

Jude put a hand on his shoulder, and the warmth of his touch seeped into Ludger and took root in him. “The car’s fixed, so we can leave in the morning. Alright?”

Ludger nodded again. “Sure. Thanks, Jude.”


	4. First Roadblock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** light emeto warning for this chapter **
> 
> I meant to post this days ago but then crestoria happened. Ludger doesn't like me anymore, he won't come home :'(

It didn’t take long to pack up the car, with how little luggage they both had. Jude lay a map out on top of the trunk, tracing the route to Nia Khera.

“It’s a sixteen hour drive,” he said. Ludger leaned against the car, peeking at the map. “Lakutam’s the halfway point. If we stop there tonight, then we can get to Nia Khera by tomorrow evening.”

“Right.” Ludger pulled out his phone and punched Lakutam into his GPS. “Seems like a good plan.”

“You’ll come back and visit soon, right?” Elize’s voice asked meekly behind them. She had Teepo clutched tightly to her chest.

“Of course we will,” Jude said, folding up the map and turning to face her. “Ludger promised he’d bring Elle to visit, right?”

Ludger nodded seriously, and Elize smiled. She held out her pinky to Ludger, and his heart jumped into his throat. “Promise?”

Ludger wrapped his own pinky around hers. “Promise,” he assured her.

She curled her pinky tighter, holding on briefly as she closed her eyes. Ludger felt a certain warmth flow from her hand that couldn't just be body heat. She opened her eyes again after a moment and smiled brightly at him. “I gave you a blessing, for the road!” she told him, “So you’ll find Elle soon. I know it!”

“Thanks, Elize,” Ludger said genuinely, though he wondered how much her blessing could actually interfere with his curse—he supposed there was no harm in trying.

“We should get going,” Jude said, folding up the map, “If we want to get in at a decent time.”

Ludger took one last deep breath of Sharilton’s warm, friendly air, and sat down in the passenger seat.

  


* * *

  
Jude’s car was a stick shift. Unfortunately, Ludger had never learned to drive stick, which left Jude to do all the driving. Jude insisted he didn’t mind, since he had intended to drive the whole trip by himself—and it was probably safer to leave him behind the wheel, anyway. There was a reason Ludger didn’t have a car himself.

The music Jude had playing was soft, gentle—solemn, yet hopeful—very reminiscent of Jude himself. It seemed fitting for a road trip, the perfect soundtrack for looking out over the passing hills and fields, yet Ludger wondered how it didn’t put Jude to sleep behind the wheel.

Jude seemed to get absorbed in the music, his eyes locked on the road, with his mind somewhere far off. Ludger found himself leaning against the passenger window, just watching Jude and wondering what might be going through his head.

“Got a lot to think about?” Ludger wondered aloud.

Jude was startled from his thoughts. He glanced over at Ludger, then laughed softly. “I guess so.”

“Anything you feel like sharing?”

“I don’t know that it’ll be very interesting.”

“We have eight hours until we reach Lakutam. Any conversation is interesting.”

Jude laughed. “Fair enough. I was just… self reflecting, a little. And thinking about my friend in Marksburg.”

“Leia?”

“Yeah—you remembered. She’s my childhood friend. I was sort of thinking about how ironic it is; it always sort of felt like she was the one following me around, but now that she’s found something to do for herself, I feel lost.”

“What makes you feel that way?”

“I’m not really sure. I mean, I haven’t seen her much in years, since I moved to Fennmont for school. But when I was getting ready to graduate, and I thought about going back to Leronde, knowing she wasn’t there anymore… I sort of realized her place was the only home I had to go back to.”

“Didn’t you say your parents were doctors?”

“Yeah. They have a clinic in Leronde, but… even though I grew up there, it doesn’t feel much like home. All my good memories were at Leia’s family lodge.”

“So going to visit her in Marksburg… is really like returning home to you, isn’t it?”

Jude mulled that over, smiling a little. “I guess I’ve always made my home in people, rather than places.”

People, rather than places. Ludger supposed he was similar, but that was mainly because he and Julius had been evicted so many times. If he got too attached to places, he’d have them ripped out from under him, and it would hurt even more.

“Did you grow up in Trigleph?” Jude asked him, shifting the conversation to him.

“Yeah. My brother raised me there.”

“Does he still live there?”

Ludger laughed dryly. “No. He’s… a wanted criminal. He didn’t do anything wrong, though—he tried to run away with Elle when I lost custody of her.”

Jude took a very long, deep breath. “He got caught?”

“Yeah. It was a stupid plan to begin with. We knew I wouldn’t win the custody battle… but we should have known he’d get caught when he tried to keep her safe, too. And yet, we both tried.” He shrugged.

“Of course you tried—Elle, she’s your home, isn’t she?”

Ludger frowned. When it was put like that, he wasn’t sure if he liked the idea. “No, I wouldn’t say that. We’re family. We build a home together, but I think there’s a difference.”

“Hmm.” Jude nodded, his brow furrowed in thought. Up ahead, a sign told them what food would be available in the next town; some fast food chains, among a few small town, family owned restaurants. “...Should we stop for lunch? It might be a while before we reach another town after this.”

“Yeah,” Ludger agreed, mulling over the options that had been listed. He usually went with fast food, the cheapest available. He wondered what Jude’s taste would be like.

“Want to try out the family owned place?” he asked, his usual curiosity returning to his voice. “That’s what you’re supposed to do on road trips, right?”

His excitement was almost childish—or maybe he just wasn’t as hardened and bitter as Ludger was. He tried to let himself get excited too. He may as well have a little fun while they were on the road, right?

...Wrong. Two hours later, they were pulled over on the side of the highway, while Ludger vomited out the car door. His whole body had broken out in a cold sweat, as his stomach convulsed again and again, trying to rid itself of all its contents.

Jude’s hand was on his back, rubbing comforting circles through the fabric of his shirt. When Ludger could breathe again, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and sat up, leaning back against the seat in exhaustion.

“It seems like food poisoning,” Jude offered, as if Ludger couldn’t guess that himself.

“Yep,” Ludger answered curtly. Jude sighed and picked up Ludger’s phone to look at the GPS.

“We’re about twenty minutes outside of Sapstrath,” he said. “We can stop there for today. Will you make it that long?”

“I’ll have to,” Ludger groaned.

Jude gave Ludger’s arm one last pat, then took the car back onto the highway. The motion made Ludger’s stomach turn dangerously, and he pulled his legs up onto the seat, curling up with his face against the cool glass of the window. He kept his eyes shut and tried not to think as the minutes dragged by.

Ludger opened one eye to peek at Jude when the car finally came to a stop. “I’ll run in and check if they have any rooms open. I’ll leave the A/C on for you, alright?”

“Mm,” Ludger responded, shutting his eye again.

It felt like Jude was gone for hours. All the blood seemed to drain from his face and fingertips, leaving him shivering. He blindly reached forward to shut the air vents, trying to move as little as possible.

Finally, Jude came back, and cut the engine. “I got us a room,” he told Ludger. “Can you walk?”

“Yeah, I can walk,” Ludger mumbled, taking a deep breath to steady himself as he opened the door to get out of the car. Jude grabbed both their bags from the backseat and offered Ludger a hand anyway. “Really, I can walk. I feel like shit, but I’m not about to collapse.”

“Right… sorry.” Jude took his hand back and ducked his head. Ludger immediately felt bad.

“Thanks for getting a room,” Ludger said, as a way of making up for it. He followed Jude into the inn, and leaned against the wall while they waited for the elevator.

“Don’t mention it. It’s important you get good rest when you’re sick.”

“Spoken like a true doctor.” The elevator dinged as it reached the first floor, and the doors opened to let them onboard. “At least I’m in good hands now when the curse hits me.” He thought he heard Jude chuckle, but he was too busy gripping the railing in the elevator and trying not to hurl as it moved upward.

When they reached the room, Ludger was ready to collapse into bed—but it came to his attention that there was only one.

“One bed…?”

“It’s all they had available. It’s okay, though, I’ll sleep on the chair.”

Ludger didn’t have room to argue. He kicked off the shoes that Cline had so graciously given him, and crawled under the lumpy comforter. He curled up on his side, willing his stomach to settle and give him a moment of peace. He could hear Jude moving about the room as he fazed in and out of sleep.

  


* * *

  
When he woke, there was no sun peeking through the curtains. The only light was a lamp in the corner of the room, casting shadow over Jude’s downcast face. He had a book balanced on his knee.

Ludger shifted, and realized there was a damp cloth on his forehead. He wondered when Jude had placed it there. The thought of Jude looking after him, caring for him while he slept, left a strange sort of feeling in his stomach other than nausea.

“What time is it?” Ludger croaked. His mouth was dry. He wanted water, but he was nervous to try it.

Jude looked up from his book and smiled. “Almost ten,” he answered, “How are you feeling?”

“Thirsty.”

Jude closed his book, and stood to go into the tiny bathroom. He returned with a paper cup of water, and sat on the edge of the bed next to Ludger. “Sit up slowly, and take small sips,” he said gently. Ludger obeyed him. The water on his parched throat felt like life force returning to him. After a few sips, though, Jude took the cup away from him. Ludger whined.

“Give it a few minutes to settle. It won’t do you any good if you throw it back up,” Jude told him. He took the towel from Ludger’s forehead, re-wet it, and returned it. His fingertips brushed Ludger’s skin as he set the cool cloth down, and Ludger sighed.

His eyes fluttered closed, and he felt gentle, soothing fingers run through his hair. For the first time in his life, he thought maybe being sick wasn’t so bad, if he could stay like this a little longer. Maybe that was Elize’s doing again—he was sick as a dog, but Jude’s nurturing hands were on him. “You must be the blessing Elize left me with,” he mumbled.

“...Me?” Jude’s voice was soft, but incredulous.

“Never been blessed like this before.” He leaned further into Jude’s touch, as sleep slowly overcame him. “...It’s warm.”

  


* * *

  
Ludger slept through most of the next day. Every time he woke, it was to the same sight of Jude curled up in the chair, either reading his book or looking at his phone.

By the time evening came around again, he had a bit more strength. His stomach had settled enough to allow him to sit up and sip at a bottle of blue Gatorade that Jude had purchased from the vending machine down the hall. Jude was fighting to stay awake in his chair—his head kept bobbing forward, and he would blink and rub his face, trying again to focus on the pages of the book in front of him. It made Ludger smile.

“I can’t imagine you got very good sleep over there,” Ludger said, causing Jude to jump and blink awake again.

“It wasn’t bad,” Jude insisted, but his actions told a different story. Ludger hummed in disbelief.

“You know, the bed’s plenty big enough for two people. You don’t have to sleep in the chair, I don’t bite.”

“You… you sure?”

Ludger huffed a small laugh. “No, I’m not so sure. Maybe I bite _sometimes.”_

Jude blushed pleasantly, and smiled. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I know. Come over here. Just because you aren’t sick doesn’t mean you don’t need proper sleep. Shouldn’t you know that, doctor?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Jude stood up and stretched, then climbed into the bed beside Ludger. “Really though, you don’t mind?”

“Course not.”

Jude settled down on the pillows, then turned onto his side, curling up almost like a cat. His knees barely brushed against Ludger’s legs, and the innocent touch sent warmth radiating through his core.

“I’m gonna turn in, then,” Jude said sleepily, his eyes already drifting shut, “Thanks.”

Ludger found himself watching his companion as he relaxed, his breathing slowing as he drifted off. His fingers curled and itched as he fought the desire to reach out and pet Jude’s hair. Instead, he turned off the bedside lamp and lay awake in the darkness, listening to the other man’s slow, gentle breaths.


	5. Fortunately Unfortunately

It was nice to have the steady rumble of the car around him again, even if Ludger still wasn’t at a hundred percent. He’d brought down an armful of Gatorade from the inn’s vending machine to stock the backseat. It was overcast and pleasantly cool—Ludger had cranked down the passenger side window and enjoyed the wind on his face.

Jude was quietly humming along to the same soft music he liked to have on. The fresh air in his lungs, coupled with the full feeling of companionship was pure bliss. He closed his eyes, just breathing in the moment.

A single raindrop hit Ludger’s forehead. He opened his eyes again and looked ahead at the dark sky—it seemed they would be driving into a storm. Nervousness rose up and replaced all the good feelings that had blossomed within him. He picked up his phone to check the GPS, vainly hoping that it would take them on an exit that would veer off in another direction, around or away from the storm.

Of course, such luck was impossible. They still had another two hundred miles on the same, straight, narrow highway. He cranked the window back up.

“Did you get a little wet?” Jude teased, running the wipers once to get rid of the few drops that had hit the windshield.

“Do you think it’ll be a bad storm?” Ludger asked instead of teasing back.

Jude instantly picked up on Ludger’s nervousness, and the hint of jest disappeared from his voice. “I’m not sure. Do you want to look up the weather radar?”

“Yeah.” Ludger pulled up the browser on his phone to search, but it only spun, providing him with no results. “I think the storm’s interfering with my signal,” he said, his voice coming out a little high.

“Ludger, you okay?” Jude asked, glancing away from the road whenever he could to check on him. “You don’t like storms?”

“What do you think the chances are normally of a person being struck by lightning?” Ludger asked, his eyes focused on the clouds ahead.

“Isn’t it something like one in several thousand?” Jude mused.

“And what do you think _my_ chances are?”

Concern grew on Jude’s features. “Have you been struck by lightning before?”

“No, but Julius has. And it’s struck our apartment _three times,_ on three separate occasions.”

Jude was now looking ahead at the clouds with the same apprehension Ludger felt. “Maybe we should stop in the next town,” he suggested.

Ludger pulled up the GPS on his phone again, though with the signal interrupted by the oncoming storm, it only showed him an approximate location. “We’re about forty minutes outside of Xian Du,” he said, trying to judge their distance from the clouds.

Jude took a deep breath. “We’ll make it,” he said, forcing confidence into his voice. Ludger wished he had the same faith in their situation.

The rain started all at once, pouring down deafeningly, and making it nearly impossible to see the road. Jude was leaned forward, eyes focused intently as he drove slowly through the mess.

A sign was barely visible in the downpour, that read _Lake Lakutam._ Before Ludger could react, they had driven onto the long bridge that stretched over the water. Thunder crashed overhead, and Ludger’s fingers pressed into the seat beneath him, gripping onto it like it could somehow save him should the storm decide to blow them right over the side of the bridge, into the depths of the water below.

His eyes searched for the end of the bridge, but the downpour made it impossible to see more than a few feet ahead. He wanted to shut his eyes, to simply trust in Jude to get them safely across, and yet he couldn’t look away from the gray haze of nothing but water around them.

There was something like a hiccup in the car’s movement. Jude and Ludger both jumped. “What was that?” Jude asked aloud, aimed at no one in particular. A very bad feeling settled in Ludger’s gut. The engine coughed again, and they very quickly began losing momentum.

Jude lifted his foot off the gas, and put it down again, but the car only continued to slow down, until it stopped in the middle of the bridge.

They both just sat for a moment, in complete silence. Jude turned the key in the ignition to off, and tried to start the engine again. It coughed once, but didn’t start. Ludger let out a very long, defeated breath.

_“Fuck.”_

Jude looked at him, and Ludger could almost see his brain working, searching for a solution. “If the lightning hits the car, as long as we aren’t touching anything connected to the metal frame, it should conduct straight into the ground,” he said, and Ludger blinked.

“You just know that off the top of your head?”

“It's simple electrical conductivity—but listen, I think we’ll be safest in the backseat.”

“...Unless the storm blows us off the bridge.”

Jude’s shoulders sagged. “You don’t think…?”

“It’s a real possibility, to be honest.”

Jude ran his hands up through his hair. “We should’ve just turned around and backtracked to Lakutam, huh?”

“Too late for that now.” Ludger looked up at the sky through the windshield, and took a deep breath. “Our best bet is probably to put the car in neutral and push it the rest of the way across the bridge… and hope for the best.”

Jude took a deep breath. “...We’ll do it quick. There hasn’t been that much lightning yet… we’ll get across and get back in the car before it gets any worse.”

Once again, Jude’s optimism was likely futile, but somehow it put Ludger’s heart a little more at ease.

“If lightning strikes, jump away from me, and jump away from the car,” Ludger said, with total seriousness, “Okay?”

Jude seemed to struggle with the idea, but his logic won out. “...Okay.” He put the car in neutral, and placed his hand on the door handle. “On three?”

Ludger prepared himself, and nodded once.

“One… two… three!”

They both jumped out of the car, instantly drenched. Ludger met Jude at the trunk, slamming his hands down on the metal frame and pushing with as much force as he could muster. Jude pushed beside him, grunting until they got the thing rolling.

If the downpour was loud inside the car, it was deafening outside. The sound of the heavy rain hitting the surface of the lake drowned out everything else. Ludger tried not to look out over the water—not that he could see much beyond his own nose anyway.

Once the car got a little momentum, it was much easier to push. Thunder clapped over their heads, and Ludger grit his teeth, trying to force it to move faster, even just a little. If he looked hard enough at the road ahead, he could almost see the end of the bridge. They might just make it. If they could move a little faster, they could reach the end—

A huge flash of lightning lit up the sky, and for a moment, Ludger was sure it was all over. He’d never felt his heart beat so hard in his chest. He didn’t want this to be his last moment. He wanted to see Elle again, to hold her in his arms when she was the one shaking in fear from the thunder. He wanted to spend time with Julius, when neither of them were running, or wandering, or struggling. He wanted to get to know Jude better, and to know what it felt like to run his fingers through his dark hair.

Ludger let out a loud sort of war cry, picking up as much speed as he could, shoving the car further and further. His shout still barely reached his own ears over the crashing of the rain and thunder.

They reached solid ground on the other side of the bridge, and kept pushing, pushing, pushing, until they were far enough from the edge of the water to consider themselves safe.

“I’m going to steer us off to the side of the road!” Jude shouted over the rain, and Ludger only nodded, and kept pushing.

Jude left his side and hopped back into the driver’s seat. The tires angled to take them off to the right, and Ludger kept the momentum going until they were safely off the road. Jude put the vehicle in park, and Ludger threw himself into the backseat.

Everything seemed to stop. He struggled for breath. Another clap of thunder echoed around them, and Ludger lay down across the seats, feeling his entire body shake.

Jude climbed over the center console, swinging his legs down into the back and sitting between the two front seats. He was dripping wet, his dark hair sticking to his cheeks. “Hey,” he said, “You okay?”

Ludger just nodded. Jude let out a long sigh. His hands were shaking, too. He tried to hide it by clasping them in his lap. Slowly, Ludger sat up to make more room for Jude, who scooted onto a proper seat.

“I don’t think I have any towels,” Jude said, grabbing his bag from the floor to dig through it. “I guess we could use an old shirt to dry off with…”

Ludger was still just working on catching his breath. He felt hands on his face before he realized his eyes had slid shut. He opened them and found Jude hovering in front of him, resting the back of his hand against Ludger’s forehead. “...Good,” he breathed after a moment, “Your fever hasn’t gone back up.”

Ludger almost smiled. “Thanks for looking out for me, doc.”

Jude’s hands lingered on Ludger’s face, trailing down his cheek before finally pulling away. Ludger felt his heartbeat stutter, soaking in the gentle expression of the very soggy man beside him. “You should get out of those clothes before you _do_ catch a cold,” he said quietly.

“You sure ask me to undress myself a lot,” Ludger teased, with a tired smile and slight raise of an eyebrow. Jude sputtered a bit and looked away from him, a blush creeping up from beneath his collar.

“It’s just—for your health—”

“I know, I know,” Ludger assured him, nudging his arm lightly with his elbow. “I’m joking.”

Jude returned his half-smile, then sighed and kicked off his shoes. They pooled with water as soon as his feet left them. “Great, those will be soggy for days,” he grumbled, and Ludger actually laughed. Jude couldn’t resist a smile of his own. “...What?”

“I don’t know, hearing you grumble like that when you’re usually so stubbornly optimistic… it’s just sort of cute.”

“Cute?!” Jude’s face turned a deeper shade of red. “I’m not a little boy, you know.”

Ludger chuckled. “Trust me, I know.”

Jude opened his mouth, like he might ask Ludger what he meant, but he closed it again without a word. Ludger lifted his shirt up, exposing his torso as he struggled to get the wet material over his head. He didn’t even have to look at Jude to feel that amber gaze on him, in a way that was anything but medically professional.

They both writhed around a bit, fighting with their drenched clothing, until the both sat in their soggy underwear. Ludger hung his shirt over the headrest of the passenger seat, to let it air out and dry as much as possible. Jude did the same with his own clothes. Ludger found his eyes glued to the muscles of Jude’s arms—they looked stronger than he would have guessed, for a doctor. Jude pulled a dry shirt out of his bag, and his deltoids and triceps flexed lightly as he pulled it over his head.

Ludger felt a blush of his own creep up over his face. He turned his eyes away and dug through his backpack, but he already knew he didn’t have a change of clothes. He’d lost them all long before he met Jude. He stifled a sigh. This had to be the curse again, right? Why was he finding himself embarrassingly undressed so often lately?

He dropped his backpack back onto the floor, and leaned his head back against the seat. “Well, at least I’m alive,” he mumbled to himself.

“What was that?” Jude asked him, and he shook his head quickly.

“Nothing. I just don’t have any dry clothes.”

“...Oh.” Jude frowned, his eyebrows pulling together in the way they always did when he showed genuine concern. “Are you cold? I think I have a blanket in the trunk, but… I’d have to get out again to get it, and it’d just get wet…”

“No, don’t worry about it. I’m fine.” Ludger smiled at him lightly, then sighed. “You believe me about the curse, now?”

“I believed you before,” Jude told him.

“Mm.”

Jude looked out the window, at the pouring rain. “I wonder how long the storm will keep up,” he mused quietly.

“So much for reaching Nia Khera in two days,” Ludger answered, with a sarcastic chuckle.

Jude turned to face him, pulling his knees up on the seat and leaning his head to the side against the backrest. “Why don’t we play a game, to pass the time?”

“What kind of game?”

“Have you ever played fortunately unfortunately?”

Ludger laughed. “Yeah, I used to play it with Elle.”

Jude smiled fondly at him. “Good, then you know how to play. I’ll start: unfortunately, the car broke down.”

Ludger laughed out loud, rolling his head back against the seat. “Alright, fine. Fortunately, I had your strong arms to help push it off the bridge.”

Jude sputtered. “My arms…?”

Ludger smirked. “Your turn.”

“...Hm. Well, unfortunately, we got caught in a rainstorm.”

“But fortunately…” _I got to see you soaking wet,_ he thought, but bit his tongue. “...we didn’t get struck by any lightning. This isn’t fair, I’m getting all the ‘fortunatelys.’”

Jude laughed a little. “Fine, you start, then.”

Ludger thought for a moment. “Unfortunately, I keep ending up in my underwear around you.”

Jude bit his lip, and thought far too long. “But fortunately…”

“Spit it out, Jude,” Ludger teased, grinning. “What’s fortunate about it?”

Jude’s face was almost crimson, and he laughed sort of nervously. Ludger’s grin widened, when a deafening bang and a blinding flash of light erupted all around them. The entire car shook, conducting the electricity from the strike down into the ground. Ludger’s heart pounded, his eyes locked on Jude’s.

But they were okay.

 _“...Shit,”_ Ludger breathed, clenching his fists. Jude’s hand draped over one of them.

“Hey, we’re safe,” Jude reminded him. “It doesn’t matter if it strikes the car. As long as we’re not touching anything metal or electric, we’re fine.”

Ludger nodded once, and slumped down in the seat. “We might have to stay the night here,” he said. Jude nudged his shoulder.

“...But fortunately, I like your company.”


	6. Casualty of Companionship

When Elle was a baby, Ludger slept with her on his chest. He was too nervous to leave her unattended for even a second, when the universe would find some way to put her in danger.

As she got older, she started to resist snuggling close to Ludger. She was stubborn, but he figured she took after him—after all, he remembered resisting in the exact same way with Julius. Elle wanted her own room, and who could blame her? Cursed or not, Ludger couldn’t coddle her forever. She would need to learn to live with the curse, just like he had, but that didn’t stop Ludger from laying awake some nights, with his mind in the other room, thinking of all the possible ways the blankets would be choking her, she could fall out of bed and hit her head, the window could be left unlocked, someone could break in—

Ludger often couldn’t sleep until he peeked into her room to check on her. Only after he confirmed she was safe, sleeping soundly, her blonde baby curls splayed gently on the pillow, could he finally relax enough to fall into his own slumber.

When she was taken from him, it was hell. He had to force himself to believe she was okay. She was strong, she was good at coping with her bad luck. She was a smart kid. She would be safe, whether Ludger was looking out for her or not—hell, she might even be safer without his own bad luck adding to hers.

But he still missed her terribly.

Ludger’s breath caught as he opened his eyes, blinking in his surroundings. The gray fabric of the car ceiling came into focus, and he felt a comforting, almost familiar weight on his chest.

Jude was curled up against his bare chest. He barely fit on the seats with Ludger laid across them, so it seemed he had clung to him in his sleep to keep from falling onto the car floor. His face was a bit scrunched, suggesting that his sleep wasn’t quite as peaceful as it had been when they had shared a bed in Sapstrath.

Jude’s weight was heavier than what his mind had tried to compare it to in his dreams—his arm was wrapped snugly around Ludger’s waist, so that it felt almost as though he were enveloped in him. Instead of protecting the weight that rested on him, it was more like Jude was _his_ protector.

Ludger’s arm was falling asleep, trapped under his side. He tried to adjust himself slowly, so that he wouldn’t wake Jude, but he stirred anyway, sleepily nuzzling his face against Ludger’s chest. Ludger felt his heart rate increase, right under Jude’s ear. He lay very still, staring at Jude’s sleeping face.

Jude’s fingers dragged against Ludger’s skin, balling themselves into fists as he slowly woke up. Ludger suppressed a shiver, enjoying the touch a little too much, and instantly feeling bad about it. Jude shifted again, rolling more onto his back, and fell right off the edge of the seats. He jumped and yelled out in surprise, finding himself on the floor, squished between the middle seat and center console.

Ludger let out the breath he’d been holding in the form of a laugh, and sat up, stretching his cramped arms. “You okay?”

Jude blinked up at him, and his cheeks instantly flushed. “Y-yeah, I’m fine,” he said, lifting himself up off the floor to sit in the backseat again. His eyes wandered out the window, at the soft, damp dawn that spread out over the lake behind them. “...It stopped raining.”

“Yeah, finally.”

Jude smiled at him. “Do you have cell service? We’ll probably need to call a tow truck.”

Ludger opened his phone, trying futilely to open his browser again while Jude stretched and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “...Nope,” he sighed, “Still nothing, surprising no one.”

Jude patted Ludger’s knee. “Let’s go for a walk, then. We shouldn’t be too far from Xian Du.”

The touch made him smile. “Sure.” He tested his clothes that were still hung over the seats—they were still damp, but at least they weren’t as soaked as they were before. It was unpleasant, pulling them back on. The temperature had dropped further following the storm, and the wet fabric clung to him and sent chills down his spine.

They both climbed out of the car, dumping the water out of their shoes and pulling them onto their feet. Felt bad. Soggy and heavy. Ludger almost decided to take the walk barefoot, but if he dared to, he’d surely step on a nail or something on the road.

They both sloshed down the muddy path, walking with awkward, heavy steps. They were still in sight of the car when Jude started laughing.

“We look awfully pathetic, don’t we?”

Ludger snorted. “Trust me, I’ve looked worse.”

“Yeah,” Jude agreed, feigning a serious tone, “at least you aren’t in your pink underwear anymore.”

Ludger sputtered and gaped at Jude. _“Hey!_ I thought you’d be nicer about that!”

Jude laughed again, and Ludger felt the corners of his mouth turn upward, as well. It was easy to relax when Jude was teasing him so lightheartedly. With the crisp morning air in his lungs, it almost felt like he was due for a little good luck.

The road sloped upward, and narrowed as it turned more into a mountain path. Ludger was actually sort of grateful they weren’t driving the tight, winding roads. It seemed safer this way; the tow truck could get their car up the mountain for them.

A comfortable silence fell between them as they trudged up the road, and their arms brushed here and there as they walked side by side. Jude seemed to have a habit of quiet, constant affection—little touches just to let the other know he’s there. It had been a long time since Ludger had been touched this way; familiar, caring, stable.

“Hey, Ludger,” Jude said, and he came back into focus again. “Can I ask you about Elle’s mom?”

“Oh.” Ludger rubbed his neck. “Yeah. What do you want to know?”

“What was she like?”

Ludger looked up at the overcast sky, the shade getting lighter and lighter as the sun rose somewhere behind the clouds. “She was cheerful, when I met her. Optimistic. She thought my streak of bad luck was funny—at least, what she knew of it. She probably just thought I was just sort of clumsy.”

“She still stayed with you after she learned about the rest of it, though, didn’t she?”

“Well… yeah. But her segue into it was through an unplanned pregnancy.”

“...Oh.”

“Maybe she would have stayed with me anyway… but maybe she wouldn’t have. I liked her, we got along, but… things got pretty tense sometimes. She got sucked into our bad luck, and it affected her a lot. I wouldn’t have blamed her if she’d left.”

“But she didn’t, because she cared about Elle… and I’m sure she cared about you, too.”

Ludger hummed in acknowledgment. He knew he would find sympathy all over Jude’s face if he looked at him—so he kept his eyes focused on the clouds.

“Did you lose her and Elle at the same time?” Jude went on after a moment of silence. Ludger shook his head.

“Not quite. Lara’s family started searching for excuses to take her about a year after she passed… but, well, they didn’t have to search hard.”

“What do you mean?”

“My piles of debt, jail time, and history of eviction didn’t help me any… but the nails in the coffin were all of Elle’s unexplained accidents with attached medical records from hospital visits. It’s pretty easy to turn that around and make me look like a neglectful parent.” The idea still pierced him deep. He was used to being seen as good for nothing, a bad egg—but having others think of him as someone who would mistreat a child, his _daughter,_ was something else. He rubbed the back of his head. “...Anyway, they finally won the case about two years ago. That’s when Julius took her and ran, but he only lasted about a month before he was caught.”

“And you’ve been searching for a way to break the curse all this time?”

“Yeah.” Ludger bumped his shoulder against Jude’s. “And I didn’t find a single lead, until you picked me up. So thanks. You brought me a whole lot of hope.”

Jude smiled and bumped Ludger back. “We’ll figure this out, together.”

“Yeah.”

A sign up ahead caught his attention, and Ludger stopped walking.

_Watch For Falling Rocks._

Ludger took a long, deep breath. “...We’re about to have a bad time.”

Jude looked ahead at the sign and let out a sort of high-pitched, nervous laugh. “Great.”

“What’s a morning stroll without a little danger? I can’t enjoy my coffee until I’ve had my dose of _falling rocks.”_

Jude laughed again, and it sounded more genuine. “We’ll just have to look up while we walk. We can enjoy the…” He looked up at the solid gray clouds. “Beautiful sunrise,” he finished dryly.

Ludger laughed with him, and they both resumed their walk with their necks craned to watch the mountainside.

“How far do you think it is to Xian Du?” Ludger wondered aloud, “Is it at the top of the mountain?”

“No, I don’t think so. It’s just part of the way up—” Jude’s words were cut short as he stumbled over a larger rock in the path. Ludger caught his arm to keep him from falling.

“Hey, careful.”

“Sorry.” Jude smiled at him sheepishly. “I was too worried about looking up, I wasn’t watching the path…”

A low rumble sounded above them. Ludger’s heart dropped, and then both looked up to search for the source. Far above them, barely visible from their distance, there was slight movement that accompanied the sound.

“We need to move,” Ludger said quickly, holding onto Jude’s wrist as he broke into a run, struggling in his heavy, sloshing shoes. Jude kept up with him, rushing along the path and chancing the look up every few seconds.

The rumbling was getting closer. Ludger broke into a sprint, but Jude grabbed his arm to slow him down. “Ludger, wait!” he shouted, his head whipping around to search the mountainside. “We can’t outrun it—”

Panic grew in Ludger’s chest. The rockslide was nearly upon them, and he could do nothing but watch it approach. Jude grabbed him by the shirt and yanked him toward the mountainside, shoving him so his back was flat against the earthy wall. He balled his fists in the still-damp fabric and ducked his head against Ludger’s chest, and they both held their breath, tense, as the rocks crashed down around them.

Everything seemed to stop, as the pounding of rock against earth rang in his ears. This wasn’t just _Ludger’s_ curse anymore. This was more than worrying about lightning strikes that would hit him, but surely not Jude—this was real, crushing danger that could seriously injure them _both,_ could _kill_ them, even.

Ludger squeezed his eyes shut, and wrapped his arms tightly around Jude’s neck and shoulders. He ducked his own head, his face pressed into Jude’s hair, and curled around him to protect him with his own body as much as possible as the dust and rocks rained down on them. The earth shook under their feet, intensifying with every crash of another boulder along the mountainside.

Slowly, the chaos subsided. The booming of the huge rocks continued below them, while dirt and pebbles continued to slide down over them and around them with a softer rumble. Ludger didn’t release his hold on Jude, his heart pounding, breathing hard. His body ached where the rocks had pelted him, but yet again, he was alive.

Finally, he opened his eyes, and looked up above them. A short cliff stuck out from the mountainside above them, which had protected them from the worst. “...You knew the cliff would give us some shelter,” he said, his voice sounding far away from him. Jude slowly lifted his face from Ludger’s chest, and their eyes met.

“I had to think fast,” Jude breathed, and Ludger’s own fear was reflected in amber. A small trickle of blood ran down the side of his face.

Ludger very slowly released his hold on Jude as the world stilled around them again. It was hard to let go, like somehow this would be the last time they touched like this. It _should_ be the last time. Ludger’s heart ached as more layers of fear constricted around it.

“You have some scrapes on your face,” Jude told him, “I should have brought my first aid kit from the car…”

“You, too.” Ludger finally slid his arms from around Jude, bringing one hand up to his head to inspect the cut. It didn’t seem deep, but it bled a lot, making his hair a dark, sticky mess.

Jude let out a long breath. “We need to get to town,” he said, and his voice held an uncharacteristic weight. Ludger nodded, and they both resumed walking. Jude’s warmth felt further away, and their arms didn’t touch again the rest of the way to Xian Du.

He had put both of them in danger by agreeing to travel together—Jude’s was a physical danger, but Ludger’s was a different sort of hurt.

  


* * *

  


Cold water ran over Ludger’s shoulders, taking layers of dirt and bits of dried blood with it. A warm shower would have been great for his aching body, but hot water was nearly impossible for him to come by. He hoped Jude’s shower, at least, had been warm before his.

Light bruises were forming over his arms and shoulders, tender to the touch. He was sure they would darken and turn every shade of yellow, brown, and green in the days to come. The soap stung in some places, where, beneath the grime that began to wash away, he realized his skin had been broken.

He turned off the water and wrapped himself up in one of the hotel robes—his clothes were in the coin machine wash on the ground floor. When he stepped out of the bathroom, Jude was pulling his t-shirt on over his head, and Ludger caught a glimpse of his back, absolutely covered in bruises that had already formed darker than his own. His gut twisted with guilt.

Jude looked over his shoulder at Ludger as he gingerly smoothed his shirt down over his torso. “...Hey.”

“Hey,” Ludger answered quietly. He sat down on the bed across from Jude. “...Is your head okay?”

“It’s not bad,” Jude insisted. He brought his knees up to his chest and moved to sit with his back against the headboard of his own bed—but he winced when his back made contact. A lump rose in Ludger’s throat, choking him.

“...I’m sorry, Jude.”

“It’s not your fault,” Jude answered automatically, shifting to lay down on his side instead.

“But I knew the risks. I should have known better. If you hadn’t spotted the cliff, if you had tried to run with me… you could have been killed.”

Jude was quiet. It was clear he hadn’t known the full extent of the damage the curse could cause.

“I’ll take the rest of the journey by myself.”

“Ludger, don’t—”

“I’m not that far from Nia Khera now. You’ve taken me far enough.”

Jude sat up. “I said I would go with you until the end,” he said, and his tone was more forceful that Ludger had heard it before, “I don’t plan on backing down from that.”

“This has nothing to do with you.” Ludger’s own voice rose slightly as his emotions coiled tighter around his stomach. “Go to Marksburg, like you planned all along.”

“But—”

“My curse could _kill_ you, Jude! That would be on me, I can’t watch that happen! Not _again!”_

Jude fell silent. Ludger couldn’t look at him. He had intended to leave in the morning, but if he gave Jude even another moment to care for him, he might break. He stood from the bed.

“I’ll get my clothes from the dryer, and I’ll be out of your hair. Thank you for taking me this far. Maybe…” He clenched his fists, and dared to hope. “If I ever break this curse, Elle and I will come see you in Marksburg. Thanks for everything.”

He picked up his backpack and swung it over his shoulder, ignoring the pain it caused, and left before Jude could react.


	7. Time

_Cold._ Ludger’s feet crunched through the snow that lined the streets, his arms wrapped tightly in front of him, huddling as close to himself as he could. He was not at all dressed for snow, but that was his own fault for not anticipating the worst. His teeth chattered, and the only thing circling in his brain was _cold, cold cold._ He focused on putting one foot in front of the other. He had to make it further into town where, hopefully, he would find a motel he could afford.

Not that hope ever got him very far.

Hard, fast footsteps hit the wet pavement, getting louder the closer they got. Ludger looked up just in time for a man to collide hard with him, knocking them both into the cold, snowy sludge built up on the side of the road. Something other than snow fell all around them— _flowers?_

“Hey, watch it!” the man shouted, stepping hard on Ludger’s fingers as he scrambled to get up. “You’d better help me pick all these up!”

 _You ran into me,_ Ludger thought dryly, but he held his tongue, mostly because he couldn’t form a decent enough argument with his teeth chattering like they were. He started gathering up the flowers in his arms, and got a better look at the maniac who had collided with him. He had long, white hair pulled back in a thick ponytail, and wore a fur-lined jacket that made Ludger envious.

“What’re all the flowers for?” Ludger managed to ask.

The man stuck his nose in the air proudly. “I’ve gathered them for Lady Milla, the witch of Nia Khera. I’m her apprentice.” He dropped his armful of flowers again in favor of pointing at himself dramatically with his thumb.

“...Nia Khera?” Ludger’s attention came back to him, his focus turning away from the cold at last. “It’s nearby, isn’t it?”

“It’s two days’ journey on foot, but not far. Just on the other side of Xian Du.”

Ludger’s heart plummeted. “But I came from Xian Du...”

The man raised one white eyebrow. “You headed for Nia Khera? You must have taken the wrong path out of town. This is _Kanbalar,_ stupid.”

“Kanbalar?”

“Hold it right there!”

Ludger looked up, arms full of flowers, and met eyes with two law enforcement officers. _Fuck._ It didn’t matter what Ludger did or didn't do, things _never_ went well for him with these guys.

“What are you going with all those princessias?” One of the officers asked, standing over him threateningly where he was crouched. “Those are a protected flower, everyone around here knows it’s illegal to pick them.”

“I…” Ludger started, dropping the flowers once more into the snow.

“Hey!” the white-haired man cut in, trying to catch them and gather them back up himself. “They’re _my_ flowers!”

 _Just how stupid is this guy?_ Ludger wondered, and the officer clicked his tongue.

“You’re both under arrest for unlawful desecration of protected local nature.”

“What?!” the man sputtered, but Ludger simply put his hands behind his back and let out a long, resigned sigh as the handcuffs clicked around his wrists.

  


* * *

  


“I didn’t have anything to do with it,” Ludger argued feebly when he was called in for questioning. “That guy ran into me, and I was helping him pick up the flowers he dropped. I didn’t know he picked them illegally.”

“Uh-huh. The officers reported that when they found the two of you, you were the only one holding the flowers. That doesn’t seem to match up with your story.”

The evidence against him was weak at best, and yet, the universe stacked it against him anyway.

“You have permission to make one phone call,” the interrogation officer informed him, but Ludger shook his head.

“...I don’t have anyone to call.”

He was returned to his cell. It wasn’t warm, but at least it wasn’t freezing. The man from before was lounging back on the hard, lumpy loft bed, his legs crossed. “How’d it go, rookie?” he asked, to which Ludger shook his head.

“You didn’t know the flowers were protected, right?” he asked, sitting on the edge of the bed below where the man was laying.

“Oh, no, I knew. But Lady Milla’s request was more important.”

Ludger’s shoulders sank. “You know, you probably shouldn’t be too open about that. It’ll get you in more trouble.”

“You think?” the man rolled over and dropped his head down over the side of the bunk, his thick white ponytail draping down behind him as he peeked at Ludger. “I’m Ivar, by the way.”

“Ludger. I’d say it’s nice to meet you, but…”

“Don’t worry,” Ivar said, flashing him a cocky grin. “I’ll tell ‘em you weren’t involved, and they’ll let you go.”

Ludger almost laughed. “Well, I guess it can’t hurt to try.”

Ivar suddenly flipped off the top bunk, and landed on his feet, pointing dramatically at Ludger, who just blinked at him. “You need to find little positivity!”

Ludger crossed his arms, and leaned back against the wall. “You said you’re a witch’s apprentice, right?”

“Sure am,” Ivar said proudly, squatting on the floor instead of sitting like any normal person would. “I’m the only apprentice Lady Milla’s every taken! Impressive, huh?”

“...Sure. But Ivar, do you know anything about curses?”

“Of course I do! What witch wouldn’t know about curses, apprentice or not?”

Fair enough. “I’ve been traveling to Nia Khera, to meet with a witch who might know about my curse.”

Ivar’s natural cocky expression softened slightly, and his eyes widened in genuine curiosity. “What, you’re cursed?”

“Yeah. It runs in the family.”

“What sort of curse is it?”

Ludger wondered if there was a specific Witch Term for his brand of curse. “I, uh, I don’t know. We all just have really rotten luck.”

“Oh, a luck curse…” Ivar nodded sagely, crossing his arms. Maybe he would have looked convincingly knowledgeable, if he wasn’t still squatting on the floor.

“Do you know how to break it?”

“Oh, no, not at all. But I’m sure Lady Milla would know, there’s nothing she can’t answer!”

Ludger sighed, tilting his head back against the wall to look up at the bunk above him.

“Is that how you wound up here, instead of Nia Khera? Because of your curse?”

“Yeah. I didn’t have any GPS signal, there was a road blocked from a rockslide, and I wound up in a snowstorm. I guess somewhere along the way, I ended up traveling North when I thought I was going East.”

“Sucks,” Ivar sympathized bluntly. He paused briefly. “...You got any bail money?”

“Nope.”

_“Sucks.”_

  


* * *

  


Picking illegal flowers, even if it was _armfuls_ of illegal flowers, surely should have just accrued a hefty fine in any normal circumstance. Ludger might have felt bad that their stay in jail was taking so long, but Ivar was so _fucking weird,_ he sort of thought it was for the good of the world that he was kept contained.

The first morning Ludger woke up on the flat, lumpy mattress, it was to find Ivar doing side squats and staring right at him. Why was he always doing squats? Why was it _always_ leg day?

If he had to describe his cellmate one way, it was chaotically positive. Which, he supposed, wasn’t all bad—he sure was confident that he would be let off easy once they were finally freed, and that he would get those flowers to his treasured Lady Milla. It seemed like nothing fazed him. Ludger wondered what it must be like to live like that; he sort of respected it, in a weird way.

By the third day they were stuck together, Ludger got out of bed to join Ivar in his squats.

“You think you can play this game, rookie?” Ivar shouted, laughing triumphantly. “Think you can keep up?!”

Ludger blinked, as Ivar began to squat faster and faster. His determination was contagious. Ludger’s brow furrowed in concentration as he placed his hands on his hips to perfectly imitate his stance, and picked up his own squatting speed to match.

Finally, Ivar stopped squatting, and stood up straight to face Ludger. His expression was serious. Ludger ceased his squats as well, momentarily worried that he’d made Ivar angry, but instead, he offered his hand.

“I underestimated you,” Ivar told him, and Ludger chuckled, nervously shaking his hand.

Ivar’s grip was firm and sincere. And all along, Ludger had thought they were just working out. Was this what it took to become friends with him?

Ivar finally released his hand and stood back with his arms crossed. “As a reward, you may ask me one question.”

“A… a question?” That seemed like a weak reward, considering Ivar hadn’t exactly held back any information from him. But conversation helped pass the time, so he didn’t contest it. “Okay… what can you tell me about curses?”

“Well,” Ivar began, bringing one hand up to hold his chin thoughtfully. “They’re easier to cast than blessings, but tougher to break.”

“Great. So you can throw around curses like it’s nothing, and they just stick?”

Ivar shrugged. “Pretty much. A big curse like yours, though, couldn’t have been an accident. A really powerful witch had to have stewed on it for a while.”

“Wonderful.”

Ivar looked Ludger up and down, like he was sizing him up. “When you get out of here, you should go to Nia Khera, and talk to Lady Milla and her sister, Muzét. I can take you to them.”

Ludger blinked. “Wait—did you say Muzét?”

“Yeah! What, you know her?”

“Well, no, someone told me about her. That’s why I was trying to get to Nia Khera in the first place.”

Ivar’s huge, cocky grin returned. “Weeeell! Aren’t you lucky you met me, then?! I can take you right to her!”

Ludger snorted. “Yeah, lucky. You got me _arrested_.” There was no real weight to his words. Ivar was certainly… eccentric, but somehow it was a little endearing.

  


* * *

  


Ludger’s back ached from the hardness of the Prelude’s seats. He had slept here, with Jude—but there was no weight on his chest, no arms around his waist. Instead, there was only a dull ache, a lingering want, and dashed hopes.

He peeled his eyes open, and found that he wasn’t in the car at all, but on the same lumpy bunk in the same tiny jail cell. Mm. No point in being awake yet. If he turned over and closed his eyes, he could almost remember what Jude’s fingers had felt like in his hair.

Voices carried from down the hall, getting closer. Ludger pulled his thin blanket over his head, trying to drown them out, but one voice seemed to stick out, deep and booming, echoing on the concrete walls. Ludger’s eyes shot open again, and he turned to face the front of the cell, as 3 figures came into view.

“Gaius?!”

The governor stood between two of the officers on duty. His arms were crossed, and his expression was grave. “Good morning, Ludger.”

In the bunk above him, Ivar sat up and pointed straight at Gaius. “Hey, I know you! You’re Muzét’s plaything!”

 _Plaything?_ Ludger gaped, while Gaius’s frown deepened. The officers unlocked the cell.

“I’d like you both to come with me, so we can get your story straight,” he said in his dark, resonating tone.

Ivar leapt from his bunk just as Ludger stood from his own, and he had to dodge to avoid the man landing right on top of him. Ivar strutted to the front of the cell and through the door that had been opened, looking up at Gaius as if challenging him. Ludger felt his soul leave him—surely Ivar understood that Gaius was here to help them, right? He followed a bit more slowly.

Gaius turned and led their party down the hall to the interrogation room, and the two officers followed up behind them. When they were inside the room, Gaius raised a hand to the officers, and they held back, securely closing the door and leaving only the three of them inside.

“Have a seat,” Gaius instructed them. Ludger and Ivar looked at each other, and took the two chairs seated across the table from where Gaius remained standing.

“Ludger,” he said in his frightening tone. His eyes were narrow, harsh, analyzing. “I want you to walk me through exactly what happened. Why are you in Kanbalar?”

“I, uh… well, I was trying to get to Nia Khera. I took the wrong path from Xian Du, and when I was coming into town, Ivar came running down the street and ran into me. I was helping him pick up his flowers—I, er, didn’t know they were illegally cut—when we were arrested.”

“And you didn’t protest?”

Ludger shrugged weakly. “It wouldn’t have made any difference.”

“If you don’t even try, no difference can be made.” Gaius’s words weren’t quite judgmental, but firm. They made Ludger feel very small. He hesitated in answering, while Gaius turned his sharp gaze on Ivar instead.

“Do you have any qualms with Ludger’s story?”

“Well, _he_ ran into _me_ —and never apologized for it,” he mumbled bitterly, “But other than that, yeah, that’s what happened.”

Gaius nodded. “I will arrange for your release,” he told Ludger, who rubbed the back of his neck.

“Thanks… but Gaius, why did you come here personally? How did you know I was here?”

A hint of a smirk crossed Gaius’s face. He gave no explanation, and merely strode across the room to the door. “You’ll be temporarily returned to your cell while we make arrangements.”


	8. Melting Snow

“When do you want to leave for Nia Khera?” Ivar asked as they walked with the guards to the front of the jailhouse. He had been presented with an enormous fine upon release, but Ludger, miraculously, had nothing to add to his piles of debt.

“I…” Ludger started, but stopped short. A looming figure stood just inside the front doors, arms crossed, watching them approach.

Ivar put his hands on his hips when he spotted him, grinning casually as though they were old friends. “What’s up, sir?”

Gaius ignored Ivar, and addressed Ludger instead. “You need a place to stay,” he said simply, and Ludger blinked, nodding.

“I… yeah, I do.”

He nodded once to Ivar. “Is he traveling with you?”

Ludger glanced at Ivar, all his complicated feelings about companionship threatening to rise back to the surface, but Ivar answered for him.

“Yep! I’m taking him to see Lady Milla and Muzét.”

Gaius seemed to be holding in a sigh. He turned from them both. “You may come, too.”

Ivar elbowed Ludger and grinned. “Man, we really scored, huh? I bet his house is _awesome.”_

Ludger was _sure_ Gaius had heard him, but he didn’t react. Ludger just chuckled nervously.

It was still snowing outside, leaving a thick white blanket over the entire town. When Ludger wasn’t freezing and miserable, the sight was actually downright beautiful. Gaius led them up the steep hill and had them board a mountain sidecar. As it brought them higher and higher above Kanbalar, Ludger took in a deep breath of the crisp, cold air.

Ivar was a witch’s apprentice. That would make a difference, wouldn’t it? He could justify traveling with Ivar. He knew all about curses, he was fully informed in making the decision to travel with Ludger, and it was _just_ to Nia Khera—or was he making excuses again?

He wondered if Jude had made it to Marksburg yet. Had he found what he was looking for? Was he happier with the companionship of his friend, or was he still feeling lost?

Ludger tried to shake off his thoughts as they dismounted the sidecar and continued up the mountain to the huge, castle-like residence that could only belong to Gaius.

Another dark-haired man was standing outside the door as gentle snowflakes fell around him. Gaius strode up to him, and they spoke in low voices. Ludger looked around, trying not to eavesdrop. His eyes traveled up the side of the mansion, admiring the architecture, when he caught sight of a person on the third-floor balcony.

Jude was leaning against the stone railing of the balcony, looking down at them as they climbed the stairs.

“...Jude.”

Ludger hesitated, cold flakes of snow falling onto his upturned face. Jude had followed him, had probably been the one to call Gaius. He was still looking out for him, even among the dangers the curse could bring. Even after Ludger had pushed him away.

“Huh? What was that?” Ivar cut into his thoughts rudely, looking around and then following Ludger’s gaze. “You know that guy?”

“Yeah… we traveled together before.” Ludger tore his gaze away from Jude, feeling a blush rise to his cheeks that had nothing to do with the cold. “But what’s he doing here?”

Ivar lowered his voice to a loud whisper. “Think he’s stalking you?”

“What—?”

Before he could respond, Ivar was shouting up at the balcony. “HEY! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!”

Ludger sputtered and waved his hands in front of him. “No, Ivar, it’s not like that!”

Ivar just huffed and put his hands on his hips. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

Ludger sighed, and looked back up at the balcony, where Jude was still standing, his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to make out what was happening below.

He was choked with longing. Jude was so close, almost within reach, yet Ludger was supposed to hold him at arm’s length? Something inside him slipped. He drew a long breath, and shouted up to the balcony.

“Jude, I’ll be right up!”

He rushed into the mansion before he could properly be invited inside, leaving Ivar behind.

He went up two flights of stairs, but found three long, dark hallways, each lined with doors. He tried to remember the positioning of the balcony on the outside of the castle, hoping to orient himself, but he only confused himself more.

“Jude?” he called weakly, taking one hallway at a time. He walked slowly down the left one, knocking and peeking into each of the doors that could lead to rooms facing the mansion’s exterior.

It was taking much longer than Ludger had possibly imagined it could. He finally faced the fact that he was utterly lost. Somewhere along the line, a door had led to another hallway, and then another… he didn’t even know how to get back to the staircase anymore.

He sat down with his back against the wall and hung his head in his hands. This was precisely how things had always been—running in blind circles, unable to grasp a lead, and missing it anytime he got close. At least when he had been with Jude, no matter how tough the road was, they _got somewhere._

“...Ludger?” He lifted his head, and his eyes traveled up to find Jude standing over him. “What happened?”

Jude’s presence alone was a breath of fresh air, cool, crisp, and even cleaner than Kanbalar’s. It cleared Ludger’s head, and relaxed his shoulders. “You’re… going to have to be more specific than that.”

Jude chuckled. “Fair enough. Did you get lost again?”

“Yeah. It just keeps happening. Gives a whole new definition to ‘lost without you.’”

Jude smiled at him, and offered his hand. “I’ll show you the way.”

Ludger stared at his hand for just a bit too long, and unconsciously let out a long sigh. Jude lowered his hand an inch, recoiling from the rejection. He looked uncertain, a little lost. Ludger immediately felt a stab of regret, but determination set into Jude’s eyes, and he reached out again, more forcefully.

Ludger gave in, and slipped his hand into Jude’s rough, calloused palm. His fingers wrapped around the backside of his hand, and Jude pulled him to his feet with a surprising amount of ease.

“The view from the balcony is nice,” Jude told him, and Ludger got the sense he was avoiding the elephant in the room.

“...Oh yeah?”

Jude led the way down the hall. His grasp on Ludger’s hand lingered, but slowly slipped away, almost reluctantly. Ludger’s fingers curled into a fist, aching in the emptiness that followed.

Jude’s eyes met his, and he smiled. “Gaius turned out to be a useful contact after all, didn’t he?”

“Only because I left _you_ with his number,” Ludger pointed out.

He lost count of how many turns they made, how many hallways they walked down, until Jude pushed open a door that led out to a snow-covered stone balcony. Ludger didn’t realize he had been holding his breath, until Jude took a seat, and he finally couldn’t hold the question back any longer.

“Jude, what are you doing here?”

“Well… I tried Nia Khera first, but I couldn’t find you along the road, so I figured you ended up on the wrong path. It took me a few days to wind up here.”

“Why… did you follow me?” Ludger very slowly took a seat beside Jude, but he left some distance between them, carefully measured to avoid attachment.

“I just… couldn’t leave you alone.” Jude looked at him sheepishly. “Not just for you, but for me, too.”

Ludger’s heart wrapped around his words, begging him to give in, to accept that it was okay to keep Jude beside him.

“But if something happens to you…”

His fingers gripped onto the side of the bench they were seated on, curling tight until his knuckles turned white. He took a deep, shuddering breath.

“Lara just suddenly got sick… she was gone in three days. Just like that. Maybe it would have happened without me, but… if it _was_ the curse, then there was no way for her to avoid it. It wasn’t even a rockslide she could have taken shelter from. The curse took her life from the inside.”

Hot tears pooled up on his eyelids, contrasting with the chill that bit at his cheeks.

Jude turned to face him more, and put his hand on his knee, closing the distance that Ludger had tried to keep between them. “I don’t…” he trailed off, searching for the right words. “I don’t want to intrude on your grief. But I don’t want you to keep carrying this alone, either.”

Ludger couldn’t find his voice. He leaned forward, until his forehead met Jude’s shoulder. Slowly, hesitantly, two warm arms wrapped around his shoulders, and two rough hands rubbed gently over his back.

“Whatever happened to Lara… whatever caused it, you can’t blame yourself for that. If anyone’s at fault, it would be the one who cast the curse in the first place. You can’t be expected to keep your distance from everyone. I want to be here for you, Ludger.”

Jude was _warm._ Maybe that warmth struck him more forcefully in the cold, or maybe Ludger’s vulnerable state just allowed him to feel it more intensely. Whatever it was, he radiated something Ludger craved. He took a deep breath, filling his lungs and his heart with the man who held him with such tenderness, such devotion. He smelled faintly earthy, like a gently crackling wood fire, but with a hint of sweetness beneath it. Ludger felt like he could sustain himself on that scent alone.

His arms moved without permission, wrapping around Jude’s waist and clinging onto the fabric of his sweater. As soon as they made contact, Jude melted further into him, his own arms constricting tighter around Ludger’s shoulders. Ludger waited for him to move away. He didn’t.

“What’s… your friend doing…?” Jude’s tone had shifted to one of bewilderment. Ludger lifted his head, and looked out across the grounds to spot Ivar, standing in knee-deep snow and doing squats, gesturing wildly to an enormous blackbird that seemed to be arguing back at him.

“...He’s just like that,” Ludger said, shaking his head. Jude stifled a laugh, and the short breath that escaped him tickled Ludger’s neck. He had completely eliminated the gap between them. Their faces were close, even as they spoke.

“How did you meet him?”

“He bumped into me when he was running with his arms full of illegal flowers, and got us both arrested,” Ludger explained, and smiled a little as the bewilderment on Jude’s face only grew.

“Flowers…?”

“Yeah, don’t ask me. He’s a wildcard. But he’s a nice guy, underneath all the chaos. He’s actually from Nia Khera, he knows the witch I’m looking for.”

“What, really?”

“Yeah. He said he’d take me there.”

Jude was quiet, and Ludger backpedaled quickly. “It’s—it’s not that I’m not worried about _his_ safety, but… I mean, he’s a witch’s apprentice, he said. He knows about curses. So he knows what he’s getting into, traveling with me…”

Jude nodded. “And _I_ know, too.” His hand traveled down Ludger’s arm as he carefully chose his words. “You told me that you weren’t sure if Lara would have stayed with you if not for Elle… right? So I want to make sure you know I’m _choosing_ to stay. I know all the risks, and I want to face them with you. Is that… okay with you?”

Ludger’s restraint crumbled, and his answer tumbled past his lips before he could stop it.

“Yeah.” It was like a dam had broken—a flood of emotions rose to his tongue, fighting one another for the right to spill out first. “It’s just… scary, because you aren’t just someone I dragged into this anymore. It’s selfish, but I _really_ want you to stay with me.”

Jude’s face progressively turned a deeper shade of red. “That’s not selfish,” he said. The corners of his mouth twitched, like he was fighting a smile. “It makes me really happy, actually… I was worried I was crossing too many boundaries.”

“Not at all, I…” He was overly conscious of how close they still were. The atmosphere had shifted, but somehow, it still wasn’t uncomfortable. “Thank you for coming after me. And for bailing me out of jail.”

Jude’s smile broke free from the restraints he’d tried to put on it. “Anytime.”


	9. Same As It Ever Was

Ludger woke to the sound of voices outside his door. He rubbed his face and turned over, trying to ignore them to revel in the luxury of the soft mattress for a little longer.

“What do you mean, you’re taking him to Nia Khera? That’s _my_ job!”

“Your… your job?”

Ludger reluctantly sat up, tossing his legs off the side of the bed so he could stand and groggily walk across the polished wooden floor. He opened the door, and found Jude and Ivar standing right outside.

“Ludger!” Jude said, and Ivar turned to face him, hands on his hips.

“Tell this phony I’m taking you to Nia Khera!” he shouted, jabbing his finger at Jude. “He seems to think _he_ can escort you better than I can! _Ha!”_

“I never said that,” Jude defended himself quietly, shaking his head. His eyes were on Ludger, eyebrows pulled together in a confused plea for help.

“We can all go together, can’t we, Ivar?” Ludger attempted tiredly. “Jude has a car.”

“We don’t _need_ a _car.”_ Ivar rolled his eyes.

“I… would prefer a car,” Ludger offered, shrugging at Jude.

Ivar gaped at him, but crossed his arms, throwing his head back in a childish pout. “Fine! Have it your way! We’ll _drive_ to Nia Khera then! But don’t forget that _I’m_ the one escorting you.”

“...Of course,” Ludger humored him, and Jude had to hide his smile behind his hand. Ludger felt himself smiling at well, but thankfully, Ivar misinterpreted it as encouragement, and grinned proudly.

“A guy called Wingul said there’s food downstairs, you coming?”

Ludger supposed this meant he was leaving the soft, plush bed for good. “Sure. I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Don’t blame me if you miss out!” Ivar warned, then sprinted down the hall like he was racing some invisible competitor, taking the stairs down two at a time.

“...So you met Ivar,” Ludger said, raising his eyebrows at Jude. “I take it you two get along very well.”

Jude laughed. “He sure is… something. I guess I don’t know what I expected from an illegal flower thief. He’ll make the trip interesting, for sure.”

Ludger snorted. “As if we didn’t have enough excitement coming at us already.”

  


* * *

  


Jude and Ludger’s backpacks had been booted to the trunk, so that Ivar could stretch out and have the entire backseat to himself.

“I don’t understand why people are so insistent on using cars to get everywhere,” he grumbled. He sat in the middle seat for the moment, with his legs spread wide, his feet on either side of the hump on the floor. “You guys really don’t know how to travel.”

“You like walking everywhere, Ivar?” Jude asked, glancing at him in the rear view mirror.

“Sure do! You’re just not strong enough for the journey, phony!”

Jude sighed, and Ludger smiled a little at his exasperation. He turned his head to look at Ivar, who had now scooted into the seat on the driver’s side, and was cranking down the window.

The chopping sound of wind and pressure filled the car. “Ivar, we’re on the highway!” Jude shouted over the noise, but Ivar had stuck his entire head out the window.

Jude glanced at Ludger with an expression of defeat, and the sound of Ludger’s laugh was lost in the wind.

  


* * *

  


It seemed Ivar had taken the reigns on this trip, even if Jude was still the only one driving. He was _insistent_ on stopping at every fruit stand they passed. Ludger was baffled at the sheer amount of peaches one man could eat.

“I don’t like the way the air feels in the car,” Ivar mumbled around a mouthful of watermelon. Ludger was seated on the curb in front of yet another fruit stand, in between him and Jude. “It’s cramped, and it feels _old.”_

“You sure like the outdoors, huh?” Ludger mused.

“’Course I do,” Ivar responded, as though it were obvious. “I’m an air elemental.”

“...Air elemental?” Jude echoed.

Ivar leaned over Ludger to jab his finger at Jude. “What, interested?!”

Jude blinked at him. “Well… yeah, I am. What’s an air elemental?”

Ivar crossed his arms and huffed proudly. “Witches have to draw their power from _somewhere._ There’s usually one element that works with them most naturally; earth, water, fire, or _air.”_

“So you use air to do magic?” Ludger asked.

“More or less. The air around me is like my fuel. I channel the energy from it into myself, and _BAM!_ Magic comes out.”

Jude’s eyebrows pulled together. “What kind of magic?”

“What, don’t believe me?” Ivar challenged.

Jude sighed again, and turned his gaze to the small package of strawberries on the ground between himself and Ludger. He picked one up, and inspected it for dirt. “I was just asking a question.”

“Magic is all energy,” Ivar explained proudly. “I take it from the air, and channel it into whatever I want. Individual witches naturally lean either toward curses or blessings, and they’re more powerful at casting whichever they lean toward. If they don’t lean either direction, then their magic is chaotic.”

“I’m guessing you’re chaotic, then?” Ludger asked.

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

Jude choked on his strawberry.

“...Lucky guess,” Ludger answered. He bit into his own strawberry, and found it was rotten in the center. He spat it into the grass.

“The only lucky thing about you, huh? Well,” Ivar stood up, leaving his watermelon rinds in the grass, and wiped his sticky hands on his pants. “You two eat slow. I’m ready to go.”

“You’re the one who keeps making us stop,” Jude grumbled, but only Ludger heard. He chuckled and nudged Jude again, who met his eye and smiled, nudging back lightly.

  


* * *

  


“Your music is too quiet, it’s going to put me to sleep,” Ivar complained.

Jude, in the driver’s seat, took a deep breath and rolled his shoulders. “Why don’t you take a nap, then, Ivar?”

“I’m not sleepy,” Ivar protested, and Jude merely shook his head.

“Since Jude’s the driver, I think we should at least let him pick the music,” Ludger argued, turning in his seat so he could look back at Ivar.

“I don’t mind driving,” Ivar said.

Ludger blinked. “You can drive?”

“Sure, I can drive.”

“A stick shift?”

“Sure.”

“You have a driver’s license?”

“I never said that.”

“It’s fine,” Jude cut in, “Ludger, why don’t you find us something new to listen to?”

Ludger could tell Jude was being worn _thin._ “You sure?”

“Yeah. We’ve been listening to my music the whole trip, anyway. Put on something you like.”

Ludger picked up his phone and looked up the first thing that came to mind, then plugged it into the cassette adapter. The speakers made an angry sound as the aux cord connected, but after a brief pause, the music started playing in a wonderfully low quality.

Jude smiled as the synth beats became more recognizable. “...Talking Heads?”

“Yeah.” Ludger balanced his phone on the side of his seat, where the aux cord could reach.

“This is dad music,” Ivar interjected, and Ludger blinked.

“I—my brother and I like this band!”

Ivar shrugged. “You and your brother like dad music, I don’t know what to tell you.”

Jude laughed. “Actually, my dad used to listen to Talking Heads a lot, too.”

Ludger gaped at him. “You’re taking his side now?”

“It’s better than whatever Jude had on, though, so I’ll give you that,” Ivar said, kicking his feet up on the center console.

The corners of Jude’s eyes crinkled as he smiled, and Ludger’s heart warmed. He settled into his seat again and tapped his fingers on his leg to the familiar beat.

“You and Julius used to listen to this together?” he asked after Ivar was, miraculously, quiet for a time.

“Yeah. He always played them when I was a kid, and then they became my favorite, too. It’s sort of like a piece of my family I can hold onto when they aren’t here.”

“That’s a good thing to have,” Jude said sincerely, though his eyes on the road seemed far off.

“...You said your dad listened to them, too?”

“Well, yeah, but that doesn’t hold the same meaning for me as it does you.” He glanced at Ludger and shot him a half smile.

“You don’t get along?”

“No, not exactly.”

“Sorry.”

“No, that’s okay. It’s nice to have a new association for the music. Your taste suits you.”

“...Are you calling me a dad?”

Jude laughed. “Well, you are, aren’t you?”

Ludger raised his eyebrows and nodded, sighing in resignation. “Yeah, I guess I am. I didn’t think I was old enough to be listening to _dad music_ already, though.”

“The dad music is in your veins,” Ivar supplied from where he dozed in the backseat.

Ludger snorted. “I’ll take dad music over a curse any day.”

Ivar very rapidly sat up and pressed his nose to the window. “Jude, stop the car!”

Jude jumped, and looked around for dangers on the road. “What?! Why?”

“Just do it! You have to stop!”

Jude pulled over on the side of the highway. As soon as they rolled to a stop, Ivar leapt from the car, and went running down the grassy slope.

“What’s he doing?” Jude asked, his voice high in slight panic as he put the car in park.

“There’s something down there,” Ludger observed, craning his neck to see down the slope, where Ivar was now crouched. Whatever it was, it was moving. “...Maybe we should go after him.”

“It’s starting to get late,” Jude protested, and he sounded tired again, overwhelmed. “We’ll have to stop somewhere, I can’t make it all the way to Nia Khera at this rate.”

“Sorry,” Ludger apologized, rubbing the back of his head. “I wish I could help with some of the driving.”

“No, don’t worry about it.” Jude shook his head, and unbuckled his seat belt. “I’m just glad I’m back on the road with you.”

Ludger smiled, and they both got out of the car to head down the grassy slope. The sun was low in the sky, casting a golden glow over the highway.

“Ivar, what have you got there?” Ludger called down to him.

Ivar turned his head to look up the slope. He was squatting beside a drain tunnel, with his arms around something furry.

“I found a critter!”

“...A critter?” Jude echoed. As they got closer, Ludger was able to make out a raccoon in his lap.

“She got caught in the current of the drain, and it brought her here. She’s not feeling so good, and her leg’s hurt.”

“How did you see it all the way down here?” Ludger asked, baffled.

“I didn’t see her, but I felt her.”

“What do you mean?” Ludger pressed.

“My magic works best with animals, I can communicate with them. I could feel her crying out for help. She has babies further upstream, she got carried away from them. I have to help her.”

“...How far upstream are we talking?”

“Dunno. Guess we’ll find out!”

“Ivar,” Jude tried to reason, “I can’t just leave my car on the side of the highway, and we need to keep making progress toward town.”

Ivar glared up at Jude. “You want me to just abandon her, then? What about her babies, Jude?”

Jude looked down at the injured raccoon and seemed to fight with himself internally. He closed his eyes. “...Fine. You’re right. But I still need to do something with my car. I’ll take the next exit and see if I can find a place to park closer to the stream.”

Ludger suppressed a laugh. “Can’t turn away a patient, can you, doctor?” he teased.

Jude shook his head, seemingly exasperated with himself. “I know, I know. I’ve always been called a do-gooder.”

“I’ll start making progress up the stream,” Ivar told them, giving them an enthusiastic thumbs-up.

“Alright,” Ludger agreed. “I’ll call you when we find somewhere to park, so we can meet up.”

He and Jude hiked back up the steep, grassy slope, and got back in their respective sides of the car.

“You alright?” Ludger asked gently as Jude took them back out onto the highway.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m trying not to be upset with Ivar, I’m just tired.”

“Yeah, I understand.”

The next exit ramp led them to a rest stop. It couldn’t be too far from where they had left Ivar—maybe a half mile, at most. Jude parked the car, and they began the trek in the direction they had come, in search of the stream.

The sun was falling quickly. Behind them, street lights flickered on and illuminated the rest area, but ahead was only grass, concrete, and growing darkness.

“I think I can hear water,” Jude observed, struggling to listen over the sounds of the nearby highway. Ludger squinted in the twilight, searching distantly for signs of water, and spotted another concrete drain tunnel.

“There,” he said, pointing.

“Oh, thank god,” Jude said, letting out a long breath.

Ludger bumped his shoulder lightly. “It just wouldn’t have been right for us to reach Nia Khera in one day, would it?”

Jude laughed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. This is much more our speed.”

The back of Ludger’s hand brushed Jude’s as they walked side by side. Ludger’s skin burned from the touch, his fingers itched to reach out entwine themselves with Jude’s, to hold on to that tender affection he so often showed.

His eyes rested on the profile of Jude’s face, barely visible in the twilight except for its silhouette. He traced the outline of his jaw with his eyes. He wondered what it might feel like to run his fingers over it, to tilt his head up just enough that their lips could meet—

The ground gave out under Ludger’s foot, and he found himself quite literally falling. His knee made contact with hard concrete, and the rest of his body tilted forward, face-planting him in the grass.

“Ludger!”

He had trustingly stepped on a covered storm drain, and the cover had given out beneath his foot. He tried to hoist himself up.

“Are you okay?” Jude asked him, offering him a hand. Ludger took it, and with their joined effort, pulled him to his feet.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He shook his leg off a little—his knee was screaming in pain, but it didn’t feel broken. “I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

“Can you walk alright? We can always sit down and wait for Ivar to make it up here.”

“That’s… true.” There was no point in walking to meet Ivar just to walk all the way back to the car again.

“Let’s just sit,” Jude pressed. “I don’t know about you, but… I could use a break.”

Ludger chuckled. “Yeah, fair enough.” He lowered himself to the ground, stretching his aching knee out in the grass in front of him. Jude sat down very close beside him, so that their shoulders almost touched.

“What’s the first thing you’ll do once you break the curse, and get Elle back?”

Ludger stretched his arms over his head and smiled. “Well… I’ll have a lot of work to do. I want to pay off my debt, and get my credit score high enough that I can rent a decent apartment. I want to move back to Trigleph, if I can. And, I don’t know if there’s much I can do for Julius, but…”

His thought trailed off, and Jude picked it up for him. “If there’s any way you can testify for him, you will.”

“Of course I will.”

Jude lay back in the grass, with his hands behind his head. His shirt pulled up just a little, exposing a glimpse of his stomach. “I like that you have a plan,” he admitted. “I feel like I’ve always been aimless in everything I do.”

“For what it’s worth, I’ve always been pretty aimless, too. if I didn’t have this curse to track down, I might not have any direction at all.”

Jude hummed. “I don’t think that’s entirely true. You’d find something to devote yourself to.” He smiled up at Ludger, who huffed a small laugh.

“Maybe.”

“Do you think we still would have crossed paths?”

“There’s no way to know that, is there?”

“Well, of course not. But it’s interesting to think about, isn’t it? I like to think that in a world where you aren’t cursed, we’d still meet.”

Ludger flopped down on the grass next to Jude, putting one arm behind his head. “Yeah. I think that would be nice. It’d be less of a mess to navigate, for sure.”

“I like navigating it with you, though.”

He turned his head to look at Jude, and found that his amber gaze was already fixed on him. Their faces were mere inches apart. Ludger froze, watching the way Jude’s eyes widened, the way his lips parted just so, the way he seemed to be holding his breath—

“HEY! I thought you were supposed to call me when you parked!”

Jude and Ludger both jumped out of their skin, sitting up so quickly they almost bumped heads.

“Sorry,” Ludger said, trying to regain control of his pounding heart. “We were looking for the stream, and then I fell in a hole…”

Ivar still had the raccoon cradled in his arms. “Well, you aren’t useful at all. I’ll return this critter to her home _myself.”_

“Sorry,” Ludger said again, but Ivar was stalking past them, toward the light of the rest stop.

Ludger looked at Jude and shrugged, getting to his feet. “Guess we aren’t useful,” he said sarcastically, and Jude laughed, standing with him and brushing the grass from his pants.

They followed a bit behind Ivar, taking their time while he walked with purpose ahead of them. Ludger’s knee protested walking too quickly, so he didn’t try to keep up. He’d probably have a nasty bruise in the morning.

Jude yawned, and Ludger smiled as little tears sprung to the corners of his eyes. “Will you make it?” he asked quietly.

Jude shook his head. “I either need some coffee, or a nap.”

“Maybe we can get a nap in the car while he takes his time,” Ludger suggested.

“That… might not be a bad idea.”

“Ivar!” Ludger called ahead. The bushy white ponytail in the distance had reached a dumpster, and was crouched down among several other raccoons. “We’ll be waiting in the car when you’re ready to go!”

Ivar shot him a thumbs up, and Ludger patted Jude’s shoulder, steering him back toward the car.

“Thanks,” Jude said, leaning into Ludger’s touch a little. “Even if it’s just a few minutes, I think a little nap will really help.”

Jude crawled into the backseat and curled up with his head at the driver’s side, while Ludger took the passenger seat, leaning it back as far as it could go without crushing Jude’s legs. Jude let out a long, tired breath and closed his eyes. Ludger turned his head on the headrest to gaze at him, and almost wished there was a danger of lightning to justify crawling into the tiny space with him.

Jude’s brow relaxed as he fell into deep sleep, and Ludger felt a wave of emotion wash over him. He smiled and closed his eyes—maybe he could get a few minutes in, too.

  


* * *

  


Ludger woke in a groggy, confused haze. The light from the rest area was harshly bright, and he blinked, trying to orient himself. The twilight was long past, and the sky was dark and starless.

Ludger patted around for his phone to check the time; it was a little past one in the morning. Ivar still hadn’t returned. Fear filled the pit of Ludger’s stomach. He got out of the car and rushed out in the direction of the dumpster they had left him at.

“Ivar—?”

The panic dissipated. Behind the dumpster, Ivar was asleep on the ground, with four raccoons curled up on his chest. But that wasn’t all—a family of rabbits seemed to have made themselves at home in Ivar’s jacket, and a few ducks were contently nested in the crook of his knees.

Surprised laughter bubbled up in his chest, and he fought it back, trying not to wake Ivar of any of his furry companions. He took out his phone, managed to get a dark, blurry picture, and ambled back to the car.

He peeked in the window—Jude was still sound asleep. Ludger quietly shuffled around at the floor of the driver’s seat and popped the trunk open. He retrieved the old blanket Jude had stashed there, and carefully draped it over him.

No point in waking him. If he could sleep through the night like this, he really must have been exhausted. Ludger curled up again in his own seat, and imagined what Jude’s face would look like when he showed him the picture of Ivar in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..........oh Ivar. never change


	10. Pulse

The paved streets and highways that had carried them thus far gradually became farm to market roads, lined with gravel and golden dirt. The vast countryside carried up into the mountains around them, the pale, freely growing grass dotted with sheep and goats.

Ivar’s head had been out the window for hours, but the energy rolling from him was almost contagious. Neither Ludger nor Jude could ask him to roll it up, even when all the various smells from the pastures filtered in. After some decent rest, and with the fresh scenery around them proving progress, Jude’s eyes were sparkling with adventure, not a hint of the previous day's frustration remaining.

“There!” Ivar shouted, barely audible as the wind carried his voice far behind them. He leaned his full upper body out the window and pointed up ahead, where in the distance, they could spot a small cluster of rooftops.

“We finally made it,” Jude breathed, a grin spreading over his face. “Where do I need to go, Ivar?”

Ludger felt a surge of hope that he wasn’t accustomed to as Ivar ducked back into the car to give Jude directions into town. The navigation was simple—there really only seemed to be a few dirt roads that spanned the entire village. The car rolled to a stop just outside one of the quaint dome houses.

Ivar hopped out of the car. “Welcome to my humble abode,” he announced dramatically, “...Though, it’s not just mine. I live with three other people from the village. But we have extra beds, so you guys can stay here.”

The house certainly didn’t look big enough to house six people.

“Are you sure that’s okay?” Jude asked, popping the trunk open so Ludger could grab their bags.

“Sure, it’s not a problem. Everyone in the village welcomes travelers, as long as they don’t cause trouble.”

“That’s… kind,” Ludger said, shouldering both his and Jude’s bags. They followed Ivar inside. Six beds and six trunks were lined up in a circle around the domed wall, and an old fashioned stove was built into the center of the room.

“It’s… homey,” Jude said politely. “Thank you for letting us stay, Ivar.”

Ivar grinned at him, hands on his hips. “Yeah, I _bet_ you’re thankful. You can take the two beds closest to the door,” he said, gesturing to one side. “We can go see Lady Milla in the morning. She and her sister live up in the mountains outside the village, and there’s no road, so we can’t take the car.”

“Okay,” Ludger assented, setting their bags down on one of the beds. “Is there a grocery store nearby? If I can get some ingredients, I can make something up tonight.” The old stove was appealing to him—it would feel good to get his hands on some fresh meat and vegetables.

“Sure, I don’t think the grocer’s packed up yet for the day. Follow me, it’s just down the road.”

“In a town this small, I’m pretty sure _everything’s_ just down the road,” Ludger said quietly so that only Jude could hear. The soft chuckle he received in response gave him a burst of energy.

As the sun sank lower in the sky, the golden dirt road seemed to intensify in color, and the hue crept up onto everything around it. The air smelled of earth, and was filled with the gentle background noise of farm animals.

“Oh, Ivar, you’re back,” a man standing just off the road said as they passed, “Thank goodness, my pigs would hardly eat.”

“Your piggies missed me?” Ivar asked, his voice full of touched pride. He instantly squatted down, so that he was eye-level with the pigs at the man’s feet. “I missed you too, fellas.”

He looked up at the man from where he was crouched. “I’ll come visit them tomorrow evening. Today I have business looking after these guys.” He gestured to Ludger and Jude with his thumb.

“Of course, I understand you’re busy, Ivar. Thank you for always taking the time to help me tend to them.”

Ivar hopped up again, a wide grin on his face. “Not a problem! Anything for Henrietta and Horace. I love those guys.” One of the pigs on the ground let out a squeal in response.

Ivar put his hands behind his head as they resumed their walk.

“You seem to be awfully respected around here, Ivar,” Jude acknowledged, and Ivar laughed obnoxiously.

“You think?! Lady Milla looks after the crops, and I look after the animals, so we’re a pretty nifty duo!”

Ludger was glad to see Ivar so respected, so at home, chaos and all. It seemed like the perfect environment for a man who slept behind a dumpster with a family of raccoons.

“How did you become Lady Milla’s apprentice?” Ludger asked curiously.

Ivar grinned and held his head high. “We’ve known each other since we were kids! Her older sister raised her, and taught her how to use her powers to protect the village. Lady Milla taught me what she learned, too—but her powers come to her much more naturally than mine, and she can draw on _all four elements,_ while I can only use air. She’s really incredible.”

“So you were childhood friends?” Jude asked, and Ivar’s proud composure slipped. He sputtered, and stopped walking, turning around to face the two of them.

“How dare you! I couldn’t call myself her _friend,_ that’s disrespectful to Lady Milla!”

Jude blinked. “Did you just… diss yourself?”

“Why can’t you be friends, Ivar?” Ludger asked.

“Because… because I’m her apprentice! My duty is to aid her! Lady Milla couldn’t stoop so low as to call me a _friend.”_

“That seems a little… dehumanizing,” Ludger admitted, and Ivar’s shoulder slumped, his eyebrows coming together.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, everyone needs friends, don’t they?” Jude pointed out. “It sounds like Lady Milla cares about you a lot, if she’s willing to pass on her knowledge to you.”

Ivar gaped for a moment, then quickly turned back around so that Jude and Ludger couldn’t see his expression. “What do you know?! The honor of being a witch’s apprentice is beyond what your tiny brain can handle!”

Jude sighed, and Ludger shrugged at him again, shaking his head. Up ahead, a man sat in front of a stand filled to the brim with fruits and vegetables. The sight of fresh tomatoes made Ludger’s heart burst. They were plump and bright red, the perfect ripeness to eat just as they were. They’d be perfect in a nice pasta dish, or maybe an omelette...

“You really like tomatoes, huh?” Jude’s voice cut into his thoughts. Ludger looked up from the bright, juicy gem in his palm, and the tender expression he found in Jude’s eyes caught him off guard.

“Yeah,” Ludger answered him, and his voice sounded breathless.

He hoped Jude assumed it was because of the tomatoes.

  


* * *

  


The iron stove and open flame made Ludger sweat, but it was a familiar heat, a comforting burn. It was easy to forget everything when he was in front of a fire—all his concentration had to be in one place, or disaster _would_ strike. He became a sort of machine, slicing with precision.

Fingertips brushed his shoulder, and a different heat broke into his concentration, a feeling of _Jude._

“Anything I can help with?”

Ludger shook his head, and flipped the final omelette in the pan. “It’s almost ready,” he said. With a sprinkle of cheese, and a generous garnish of tomato slices, he served the food onto three plates, and passed one to Jude.

His phone vibrated in his pocket. With his hands full, he couldn’t check who was calling, but he wasn’t worried about it—the only people who ever called him were debt collectors, or scam callers. If it was Nova, she’d leave a message, and he’d call her back later to tell her the same thing; he was still unemployed, without a penny to put toward his pile of debt.

Ivar was sitting cross-legged on the floor when Ludger handed him a plate. He sat down near him in the same way. He balanced his own plate on his knee, but then thought better of it. He set the plate firmly on the ground in front of him, where it was safe.

“You should be a chef,” Ivar told him, and Ludger laughed dryly.

“Yeah, I’d like to be.”

Jude sat down beside him, and their knees bumped together. “Once this is over, you’ll make a great one,” he said gently, and Ludger smiled.

“Thanks. I hope so.”

“We can go down to the bathhouse after we eat,” Ivar said with his mouth full.

“Bathhouse…?"

“Yeah.” Ivar swallowed his mouthful of omelette. “You don’t see a shower around here, do you? We gotta go to the bathhouse.”

As much as Ludger wanted to feel clean, he thought he could probably wait until they reached their next hotel stop with access to a normal shower. He pulled out his phone to check the time, hoping he could use the lateness as an excuse to go to bed without bathing.

He had a voicemail from an unknown number. Spam calls didn’t usually leave messages—he curiously dialed his voicemail to listen to it.

“I think I’m good without a bath,” he said while the automated voice went over his options. Jude curiously inquired something about the bathhouse, but Ludger tuned him out completely as a familiar voice spoke to him over the line.

_“Hey, Ludger, it’s me. I’ll have to ditch this line soon, but I set up a burner phone so I could check in on you. It’s been a while. I hope you’re safe. Call me back, if you can.”_

The automated voice returned. _“To delete this message, press seven…”_ Ludger’s hand fell from his ear, and in his rush to get up, his foot hit the edge of his plate, flipping his beautiful omelette onto the floor.

“Ludger?” Jude asked in concern, ready to get up with him.

“It’s Julius,” he explained hurriedly, holding up his phone. “I’m going to call him back.”

Understanding passed over Jude’s face, and he nodded. “Who’s Julius?” Ivar asked, but Ludger left Jude to explain—he scooted out the front door, and sat down on the porch steps.

His hands shook as he hit the redial button, praying the line hadn’t been disconnected yet. His luck had been too good today. Had he missed his chance to talk to his brother the one time he finally called?

His heart pounded as the line rang once, twice… silence, and then the voice he’d been longing to talk to for close to two years.

“...Ludger?”

“Julius,” Ludger answered, and he felt a genuine smile spread over his face, all his worries forgotten. “Are you okay? Where are you?”

“I can’t say, in case the line gets tapped. I’ve had a few close calls, but I’m fine—what about you?”

“I’m—” A flurry of emotions swirled in Ludger’s chest, and he wasn’t quite sure how to answer. “Julius, I’m trying to find a way to break the curse. There’s a witch I’m going to talk to tomorrow, I think she might have some answers for us.”

There was brief silence from the other end of the line. “...Be careful,” Julius warned after a moment. “Witches are no joke. They can cause more harm than good, if you don’t watch your back.”

“...You know about witches?”

“I encountered one, a while back, in Nia Khera. She wasn’t too pleased to have me nearby, and she definitely had the power to off me, if she wanted to. It was a close call, even for me.”

“In Nia Khera?” Ludger asked, feeling uneasiness creep up the back of his neck. He hesitated. “But things couldn’t… possibly get _worse,_ could they? I mean, what do we have to lose?”

Julius let out a strangled sort of sigh. “No, you have a point. If it’s possible to break the curse…” he paused again, like he couldn’t dare to voice his hope. “Just make sure you don’t get yourself hurt.”

“I’m always careful, Julius. I have to be.”

“I know.”

Ludger leaned back on the steps a bit, and looked up at the stars that were so much more visible here than in the city he’d grown up in. Over the last two years, there had been a million things he’d wished he could ask Julius, and now that he was on the line, he couldn’t think of a single one. He just wanted to sit with him, feel his presence, listen to his deep, shaking laughter.

“I missed you,” Ludger said quietly. A chuckle answered him, and he felt warm familiarity spread through his chest.

“Me too.”

“I made tomato omelettes tonight.”

An envious groan echoed across the line, and Ludger grinned. “I’m not even there, and you’re making tomatoes. I’m so proud.”

Ludger laughed. “Well, I have to practice to make sure I stay on your good side.”

“Smart boy,” Julius teased, and they fell into a brief silence again.

“...Have you heard from Elle?” Julius asked after a moment.

“She’s in Drellin. I… haven’t seen her since they took her from you. They won’t put her on the phone when I try to call.”

“’Course they won’t.” Julius sighed audibly, and Ludger could almost see him shaking his head in his mind’s eye.

“If I break the curse… that’s at least one step closer. I just want our family back together, Julius.”

“I know, little brother, me too. We had to hit rock bottom first, but… maybe you can get the answers I couldn’t. Elle and I are counting on you, Ludger.”

The responsibility of another life was something that had terrified Ludger when Elle was born, but now it surged through him and gave him purpose, the drive to keep going. “I won’t let you down,” he promised.

“I’d better go,” Julius said, and Ludger’s heart sank. “I’ll have to get rid of this line, so you won’t be able to reach me here again. I’ll try to give you a call whenever I can, though.”

It had taken two years for Julius to find the first opportunity to call—how long would it be until they could talk like this again?

“Right. Don’t get caught, and I’ll find a way out of this, for all of us.”

“Knock ‘em dead, Ludger.”

The phone line clicked, and went silent. Ludger slowly lowered his hand from his head, staring down at the unknown number listed on his phone screen, glowing in the twilight that had fallen over the village. He locked the screen, and closed his eyes, leaning his head back again.

Behind him, the door creaked open. “You’re done talking already?” Jude’s voice asked softly. Ludger opened his eyes, looking upside down at him.

“Yeah. He couldn’t stay on the line long, in case it gets traced to him.”

“You don’t get to talk often, do you?”

Ludger shook his head, and Jude sat down on the step beside him.

“I’m glad you got a few minutes with him, at least.”

The door opened again, this time more forcefully. Ivar stepped out onto the porch with his arms full of towels and clothes. “I don’t care if you losers stay dirty, but _I’m_ going to the bathhouse,” he said haughtily.

“Alright. Have a nice time, Ivar,” Jude said politely. Ivar stared at him wordlessly for a moment, then waddled down the road.

Ludger’s chest ached. Of course he’d missed Julius all this time, but hearing his voice just made it all the more intense. He sucked in a breath and tried to focus on the near future again.

“Julius warned me about something,” Ludger brought up, getting his brain turning on the subject again. “He said he was in Nia Khera a while back—”

“My, aren’t you a foul thing,” a sing-song voice interrupted him. Jude and Ludger both turned their heads in the direction of the voice, and found a woman cupping her cheek in her hand. Long, thick locks of pale blue hair reached her waist, and her movements were languid, almost liquid.

“...Can we help you?” Jude asked, and the woman emitted a sugary laugh.

“Help? No, I don’t think so. But I will be needing your friend here to leave the village.”

“Leave?” Ludger echoed, frowning.

“Yes, leave.” The woman dropped her hand from her face, trailing her fingers across her jaw until she held it out on front of her, pointing all five of her fingers at Ludger.

His blood turned to ice. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t _breathe._ Panic swarmed around him, within him, as he realized that his _heart had ceased beating._

“Why does he need to leave?” Jude asked, unaware of the state Ludger was in beside him. “Who are you?”

Every joint in Ludger’s body had gone rigid, every muscle tensed as he fought to catch Jude’s eye. They were _both_ in danger here. This had to be the witch Julius had warned him about—he had no control. She could easily kill them both with no effort. She _was_ killing him, as every cell in his body screamed in agony, begging for oxygen.

The woman finally dropped her hand, and Ludger’s blood resumed pumping. He gasped for breath, his shaky hand clutching the fabric of his shirt over his heart. Jude’s hand dropped onto his shoulder. “Hey, are you okay?”

Ludger took a deep breath, and met Jude’s eyes to give him a very pointed look. Jude blinked, searching him for information, trying to silently catch up.

Ludger had to trust in Jude’s cognition. He tore his eyes away from him, and locked them on the woman instead. “You’re Muzét,” he said, keeping his voice as steady as possible. If she was set on killing them, they couldn’t outrun her, but maybe he could talk his way out of this. “Gaius told me about you.”

“Oh, Gaius did, did he?” She said, an edge of excitement in her voice. “How sweet of him, to send me a couple of cute boys. Unfortunately, his thoughtful little gift has something nasty running in its veins.”

Jude’s hand tightened on his shoulder, and Ludger drew strength from it. “You can feel my curse?” he pressed on.

“Of course I can. It’s quite potent.”

“I came to ask if you knew anything about the witch who cast it—we’re with Ivar, he said you and your sister would be able to help.”

“Our first priority is protecting the village. Ivar was foolish to bring a curse right into the heart of our home.”

Jude opened his mouth, but Ludger cut him off. “I understand,” he said, “We’ll be on our way quickly. I don’t want to bring anything bad to your family—but please, if you know anything at all, I’m just trying to get my own family back.”

Muzét tilted her head, and rested her fingertips on her chin thoughtfully. “You sound like another man who passed through here,” she mused, “A Kresnik, if I remember correctly.”

Ludger got to his feet, trying to ignore the lightheadedness that struck him. “Yes, that’s my brother,” he said quickly, “He was here—you spoke to him?”

“I did. He was quite handsome, but I had no desire to house a wanted criminal _as well as_ a curse-bearer. I sent him on his way, and I don’t believe he thanked me for it.”

“But Ludger’s not a criminal,” Jude pointed out, “We’ve been navigating his bad luck for weeks, and we’ve been mostly okay.”

“I _am_ curious about what you have to ask,” Muzét drawled, a playful gleam in her eyes. “I suppose one night couldn’t hurt too much. Have Ivar bring you up the mountain in the morning, and Milla and I will answer whatever we can. But after we have our little talk…” She stepped forward, and Ludger felt his blood flow slow again. His veins felt thick and sluggish, and she trailed one finger under his chin. “...You’ll have to be on your way, no matter how cute you are.”

“Hey—” Jude cut in, this time picking up on however she was affecting Ludger, but she only winked at him and drew her hand away again in a slow, carefree motion.

She turned and sauntered away, her bare feet so light on the dirt road, it almost seemed like she was floating. Ludger took in another shuddering breath when she freed him from her spell, and he sank back down onto the porch step. His head throbbed as his blood rushed to provide oxygen to the parts of his body that were lacking.

“What did she do to you?” Jude asked in a hushed, but urgent tone. His fingers curled around Ludger’s wrist, which he weakly surrendered to him.

“Nothing good,” Ludger answered. He was _exhausted._

“Your pulse is too slow. You need to come lay down,” Jude urged him, and Ludger nodded slowly.

Jude’s arm snaked around his back, helping to lift him to his feet. Ludger leaned on him as stars and black spots obscured his vision. He blindly put one heavy foot in front of the other, and Jude brought him back inside the little house, sitting him on one of the beds they had been assigned.

Ludger lowered himself onto his side, and his eyes fell closed. He could feel Jude over him, repeatedly checking his pulse and breathing. “I’ll be fine,” Ludger assured him, “I’m just tired.”

“She messed with your circulation, that can cause serious damage,” Jude told him. “Try to stay awake for now, I’m just going to keep an eye on you.”

Ludger hummed, and forced his eyes open. “I’m not worried, with you here.” He hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but it slipped out anyway.

Jude’s thumb rubbed the inside of his wrist, and his eyes narrowed with fondness. Ludger focused on those soft, honey eyes—he could stay awake for hours at Jude’s request, just getting lost in them. Jude leaned down closer over him, and Ludger sucked in a breath, feeling his heart rate pick up slightly. With Jude’s fingers on his wrist, there was no way he didn’t notice. Jude licked his lips. Ludger wanted nothing more than to pull him down to him, wrap himself up in him, get a good taste for himself.

Jude was hesitant, but Ludger was almost sure he was thinking the same thing. Ludger curled his hand into a fist, the tips of his fingers barely brushing Jude’s palm. Jude sank down an inch closer to him, and Ludger daringly reached up, his fingers brushing the hair at the nape of his neck, just behind his ear. Jude leaned into the touch, his grip on Ludger’s wrist tightened, and his lips were close, so close, Ludger only needed to raise himself an inch, and he could take them—

The front door opened, and Jude jumped out of his skin, sitting up straight. Ludger’s eyes slipped closed, and he took another deep breath. His heartbeat was still irregular, but it had slipped the other direction—now it was way too _fast._ Damn Ivar, damn this curse.

But it wasn’t Ivar in the doorway. It seemed his housemates had come home, and they didn’t bat an eye at the strangers inside.

“...Sorry for the intrusion,” Jude said awkwardly, but they merely went about their business, setting up the wood stove to make their own food.

Jude’s attention shifted back to Ludger, but his fingers slipped from his wrist. “I’m going to get you some water,” he said. Ludger only hummed in response, watching as Jude stood and left his bedside.

He took a steadying breath in Jude’s absence, and he curled up more on his side. There was no denying that his longing had been echoed back to him. If they had been given another minute alone, it was clear where that would have ended, right? Ludger squeezed his eyes shut, as his mind replayed the feeling of soft hair at his fingertips, gentle breath on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Ivar and his bathhouse._ I had to cut no less than _three_ bathhouse scenes from this chapter. every time I tried to take it another direction, he brought it up again. I finally had to send him by himself, or he simply wouldn't have been satisfied.
> 
> I'm taking a brief break from writing this fic so I can work on a few things for xillia week, but I'm a few chapters ahead of posting, so I'll still be able to update for a while until I catch up to myself LOL, wish me luck!


	11. Positivity and Relativity

A long, stone staircase stretched up the mountainside to the south of the village. Ludger tread carefully behind Ivar’s swaying ponytail, able to imagine all too vividly how it would feel to lie at the bottom of the harsh steps. Jude walked as closely beside him as the narrow staircase would allow, just a step behind. Ludger could feel his breath every once in a while, when he sighed and wiped his brow.

When the top of the steps came into view, Ludger could see another dome house like the ones in town, but this one had a certain _life_ to it. Vines reached up the walls and twisted in the architecture. Fruit and flowers grew in wild bunches, completely covering the ground that wasn’t lined by the narrow stone path.

Ivar strode forward confidently and knocked on the door, and then dropped to the ground, his arms in front of him with his forehead resting on the doorstep.

Ludger faltered—did he need to bow, too? Jude bumped into him lightly, then blinked down at Ivar himself. The door opened before they could reach a decision, and Ludger hastily crouched over in an awkward half-bow.

A woman stood in the doorway, framed in long, thick golden hair. “Ivar,” she said in a voice smooth as water.

Ivar lifted his head from the ground and looked up at her in adoration. “Lady Milla, I’ve returned!”

“You retrieved a princessia?” she asked, and Ivar’s face fell in the most soul-crushing way.

“I… I forgot to get one back,” he realized, and Ludger felt a stab of pity for him.

The woman sighed, and shook her head. “Who have you brought with you?” Her gaze met Ludger’s, and he felt himself jump involuntarily. The power radiating from her was almost physical.

“I’m Ludger,” he introduced himself, as Ivar finally lifted himself from the ground. “And this is Jude.”

“You’re the cursed man Muzét invited here,” she acknowledged, and Ludger nodded, ducking his head slightly again, hoping it looked respectful.

“Yes. Thank you for having me.”

Milla nodded once. “Come inside,” she said, and her tone was almost warm. Ludger was hesitant. If Muzét could stop his heart, what was her sister capable of?

Jude leaned his shoulder gently against his. “I’ve got your back,” he whispered, and Ludger tried to put stock in that. He drew in a deep breath, nodded, and followed Ivar and Milla into the house.

Somehow, Ludger had expected there to be as many plants growing inside as there were outside, but the interior was almost as simple as Ivar’s house was. Two beds were pushed against the far wall, with two long, purple curtains draping over them. The main difference was that around the wood stove in the center of the room, a colorful, twisting design was painted on the floor. Stones were placed around the edge of the large circle, containing it all.

To one side of the room, a collection of floor pillows were arranged in a smaller circle. Milla gracefully knelt down on one, and gestured to the others.

“Have a seat.”

Ivar sat down comfortably beside her, but his posture was measured, respectful, more polite than Ludger knew he was even capable of. Ludger and Jude sat together across from them.

“Where’s Muzét?” Ludger asked.

“She’s gone down to bless the village, in case you’ve left any residual energy behind. She’ll be back soon.”

Ludger was used to the feeling of shame. It came naturally to him, every time he failed at something he had no chance of winning; every time strangers, or even close friends, saw these failures as inherent flaws. But this was something new—Milla talked about him as though he were something filthy, leaving a horrible stench behind him everywhere he went.

“What do you mean, residual energy?” Jude asked.

“Negativity spreads like wildfire,” Milla explained. “It isn’t his fault, of course—I’m sure he’s a perfectly pleasant person. But the curse that envelops him can easily leech onto those around him.”

The words lodged themselves in Ludger’s chest. He supposed he’d always known it, but hearing it confirmed was a lot harder than he’d expected. His ears rang, and he stared at his clenched fists in his lap.

Jude’s hand darted out and grabbed his wrist firmly. Ludger’s fists uncurled in surprise, and he looked at him, but Jude’s eyes were still focused on Milla. His grip was strong, warm, overwhelmingly positive. He didn’t let go.

“But a negative can be canceled out with a positive, can’t it?” Jude asked, his tone strong and determined.

“Naturally. That’s precisely what Muzét is working on now.”

“Then couldn’t enough positive energy neutralize the curse?”

Milla placed her chin in her hand, looking over Ludger thoughtfully. “Hm… theoretically, yes. His curse is quite strong, though, even a powerful witch gifted in blessings would be unable to provide enough to neutralize it completely.”

“But energy isn’t just something witches control,” Jude thought aloud. “Everyone takes in and puts out energy, constantly. If an average person is putting out enough positive energy, couldn’t that shield them from the curse’s effects, even if it doesn’t necessarily change anything for Ludger?”

Milla raised her eyebrows at Jude, impressed with his reasoning. “Yes, you’re right. It’s fairly simple to let that negativity bounce off of you, so long as you don’t bear the curse yourself. As long as you’re with him, it wouldn’t necessarily stop the physical dangers, but the negativity itself wouldn’t hold you down.”

A new sense of clarity donned on the murky waters of Ludger’s brain. It must have been why Ivar hadn’t been worried about the curse when they traveled together. He knew he could protect himself. Jude could protect himself—but Lara had felt trapped. The curse’s negative energy had quite literally poisoned her.

Jude’s grip on his wrist tightened further, jerking him from his thoughts. A gentle warmth spread slowly up his arm, and Ludger wondered if he was imagining it, if his brain was supplying some physical aspect to the energy they spoke of.

“I know just anyone can’t break the curse,” Ludger finally spoke up, turning his attention back to the answers he sought. “But how do I find the witch who cast it? It’s been in my family for generations, what if they’re not around anymore?”

“If the witch had passed on, the curse would have weakened, and eventually phased out. Something this potent needs a strong hatred fueling it.”

“So they’re still alive, and still salty,” Ivar simplified.

“Great,” Ludger muttered. “But how could they have lived this long?”

Milla’s brow pulled together in thought. “I only know of one witch who’s been able to master something akin to immortality…”

“You’re onto something, Milla,” an overly sweet voice cooed from the doorway. It sent shivers down Ludger’s spine. Jude frowned deeply, and his posture shifted into something more defensive.

“Muzét,” Ludger said slowly, studying her. She swayed lightly on her toes, making her way over to perch on a pillow of her own. “You know something.” It wasn’t a question.

“Perhaps I do,” she simpered, placing a single finger on her chin in mock thoughtfulness.

“You think it was Chronos?” Milla asked in a hushed voice, as she put together the pieces of a puzzle that Ludger still infuriatingly lacked.

“Chronos?” Jude repeated, but Muzét ignored him, addressing her sister instead.

“Of course it was Chronos. This man is a _Kresnik.”_

Understanding donned on Milla’s face, but Ludger was still frustrated, feeling around in the dark. “Who’s Chronos?”

Muzét tutted, and rested her cheek in her hand. “Patience, patience.” She lounged on her side across two pillows, languidly relaxed, with entertainment clear in her eyes. “Chronos is a grumpy old thing. He doesn’t get along with _anybody,_ but that went especially for Milla Kresnik.”

Ivar gasped. “Of course! I knew that name sounded familiar!”

Ludger blinked, and looked at Milla questioningly, but she shook her head.

“Not me,” she provided, “But she was my namesake. My great-grandfather knew her.”

“She was a very powerful witch,” Ivar explained excitedly. “She was the founder of Nia Khera, known for her strong, wonderful blessings. Old man Maxwell protected the village with her.”

“So how did she wind up cursed?” Ludger asked, his mind whirring.

“Chronos lived on the Hollowmont, and he didn’t like that so many people had moved in at the base of the mountain,” Ivar went on. “He and Milla K quarreled a lot, but no one knows what the final straw was, when he finally cursed her.”

“Some say she was merely in the wrong place at the wrong time,” Muzét said in her airy lilt, an edge of laughter behind her words. “Ironic, isn’t it, that her rotten luck would never end from that point on!”

“Hilarious,” Ludger said dryly. “Do you know where Chronos is now, though?”

“I haven’t heard anything about him in a while,” Milla said, shaking her head. “The last I can remember, he was somewhere north of Marksburg.”

“North of Marksburg…” Ludger repeated under his breath. It was something. A direction, a name.

“Is there anything else you can tell us?” Jude asked, leaning forward slightly. “Anything at all that might be useful.”

“His medium is time,” Ivar said, his eyebrows furrowed as he sifted through his knowledge. “That’s how he’s managed to live so long. I remember hearing about how he manipulates it—it’s why he’s so strong. He’s had a millennium of experience to build on itself.”

“So once we find him… then what?” Ludger thought aloud. “We convince him to pretty please stop making my life hell?”

“If you can’t convince him, you could always kill him,” Muzét suggested, and she sounded far too pleased with the suggestion.

“Muzét, that’s not funny,” Milla warned.

Ludger’s stomach turned, and he tried to ignore it. No matter how impossible the means to an end might seem, any direction was better than none, wasn’t it?

“Thank you for talking with us. We’ll get going, so I won’t poison your village anymore.” Ludger tried to keep the hint of bitterness out of his voice.

Milla crossed her arms. “Ivar,” she said, and he snapped to attention, sitting up straighter. “Would you house these two for one more night?”

Ludger blinked, taken aback, while Muzét hummed in disapproval. Milla continued before her sister could speak. “Ludger is Milla Kresnik’s descendant—if we’re being honest, this village is as much his as it is ours. The least we could do is offer him a bed to sleep in for one more night before we send him on his way, don’t you think, Muzét?”

Muzét’s face broke into a smile. “Oh, Milla, you’re always such a good girl.” She sighed, and slowly sat up, her arms flowing at her sides. “I suppose you have a point. I’ll just have to clean up his mess again in the morning.”

Ivar was beaming with pride in his task. “I’d be honored to spend one more night together,” he said. Ludger almost laughed.

“Even with this guy?” he asked, elbowing Jude lightly in the arm.

Ivar blinked, and his face fell into an unrecognizable expression. “I… guess it’s not the _worst_ to keep him around.”

Jude raised his eyebrows. “I’m charmed,” he said dryly.

“Thank you, again,” Ludger said to Milla, bowing his head slightly.

Milla smiled, and now Ludger could trust a bit more in the warmth behind it. “Of course,” she said. “In another lifetime, we might have been family. It’s only natural that we look after one another.”

Family beyond Julius and Elle was a matter Ludger had rarely had time to consider. His father had never been present, and his mother had passed when he was young—Julius had never explained how she died, but he often wondered if the curse had taken her in the same way it had Lara. Extended family was out of the question. No grandparents, no aunts or uncles, no cousins. He’d never particularly felt he was missing those people he’d never met—but now that he had this fragment of family history, and these people he might have grown up with, his heart felt full. He could almost imagine a childhood in the village, running and playing with Ivar, maybe even learning magic alongside Milla.

Ivar stood, and put his hands on his hips. “If you two are staying at my place again, you _have_ to go down to the bathhouse tonight. You _stink.”_

A laugh bubbled up in Ludger suddenly and escaped before he could stop it. “Fine,” he assented.

“You two can clean up while I visit Henrietta and Horace. Come on.” He marched toward the door with purpose.

Ludger got to his feet, and slipped his hand into Jude’s to help him up.

“I’ll visit again when I have something more positive to bring with me,” he promised, smiling determinedly at Milla, and a little more hesitantly at Muzét.

“We look forward to it,” Muzét cooed. “Without that curse bogging you down, I’d _love_ to get to know you better.”

Ludger blinked, unable to formulate a response, and Jude patted his back. Milla shook her head.

“R-right,” Ludger finally managed. “Well, uh, thanks again.”

Muzét winked at him, and Ludger finally let Jude steer him toward the door.

  


* * *

  


Once Ludger was immersed in the hot water, he wondered why he’d turned down the bathhouse in the first place. The tap never ran hot for him, but the bath couldn’t exactly just freeze over. The heat penetrated muscles he hadn’t even realized were sore, and he leaned his head against the wall he sat against.

“You look relaxed,” Jude’s voice echoed softly against the tile floor, and the water beside him shifted. Ludger opened his eyes—Jude was slipping into the water beside him, a towel wrapped securely around his waist.

“I never get hot water,” Ludger explained, sinking further down so that his shoulders were submerged. “...Feels good.”

Jude chuckled fondly. “It does feel nice,” he agreed. He leaned forward a bit, adjusting himself on the shelf they sat on. Ludger caught sight of the bruises across his back and shoulders—the dark purples had faded to browns and yellows, but a few spots were still dark and painful looking.

He reached out without thinking, brushing his fingers lightly over the colors. Jude jumped, and looked back at him, his face flushing bright pink. Ludger recoiled, dropping his hand into the water at his side again.

“Sorry.”

Jude shook his head, and sat back again, submerging his shoulders like Ludger had. “No, it’s fine.” he brought one hand up to his shoulder, gingerly touching one of the darkest bruises. “They aren’t that tender anymore.”

Ludger looked away from him, but he could feel Jude’s amber gaze locked onto him.

“How are your bruises? The water feels nice on them, doesn’t it?”

Ludger nodded. “They’re mostly on my arms—you protected my chest and back.”

“They don’t look bad,” Jude said, eyes traveling over his arms. “What about the one on your knee from the other night?”

Ludger raised his knee out of the water. It was a nasty gradient of purple, yellow, and green, covering his entire kneecap and spreading up his thigh a few inches. Jude hissed at the sight of it.

“I have an ointment in my bag that will help it heal,” he said, “Remind me when we get back to Ivar’s, I’ll get it for you.”

“Thanks,” Ludger said quietly, lowering his leg back into the water.

Jude was still peering at him. Ludger dropped his chin into the water, closing his eyes again.

“...You’re not going to ask me to stay behind again, are you?”

Ludger’s eyes blinked open. His eyes met Jude’s, full of concern, full of _hurt._ His chest constricted. “...No,” he said quietly. “I want you to stay with me.”

Jude looked a little relieved. “Good. I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

Ludger smiled at him weakly. “You thought I’d ask you to leave?”

“I was a little worried,” Jude admitted, “...After what Milla said earlier.”

Ludger took a deep breath. “I don’t feel good about it,” he said honestly. “I… have a lot of thoughts to work through. But your theory made me feel better. It couldn’t help Lara, but…”

“But we know what we’re dealing with, now,” Jude continued for him. “I won’t get sick, Ludger.”

Ludger took a deep breath, and nodded. “You know a lot about energy,” he pointed out.

“It’s all just science—the kind of magic witches can do is beyond my knowledge, but the simple stuff is common. It can even be used medically.”

Ludger hummed, and felt the corners of his mouth raise in a fond smile. “How is it used medically?”

Jude was in his element. His eyes gleamed, eager to share his knowledge, hungry for more. “Well, for example, it’s used in massage therapy—if you’re used to feeling energy, you can channel the positive into someone, and almost physically pull the negative off of them through the power of touch. It takes training to learn how to shake the negative off yourself, so you don’t accidentally absorb it when you’re working with it.”

“Are you trained in massage, doctor?” Ludger teased lightly.

Jude blushed. “No, not technically. We covered it briefly in an anatomy class I took, but I’m not licensed. I’ve always been interested, though, so I did a little independent research, too.”

“Do you think there’s science in witch magic, too?”

Jude nodded vigorously. “I do. I'd really like to research that more, actually.”

“Ah, so that’s why you want to stay with me so bad, is it? You want me to be your guinea pig.”

“What? No, that’s not it at all—” Jude’s face was flushed, his eyes wide in panic. Ludger laughed.

“I’m kidding, Jude.”

Jude let out a short breath, and crossed his arms. “...You’re mean. You know how I feel.”

The words dripped with implication. He knew how Jude felt. Did Jude know how _he_ felt?

“Turn around,” Jude instructed him, and Ludger blinked at him.

“What?”

Jude’s face was scarlet. Was he trying to hide it by making Ludger look away? “I’ll massage your shoulders a little,” he elaborated, “I’m sure you’re tense.”

Oh. Ludger shifted wordlessly in the water, so that his back was to Jude. His sat up straight, so that his shoulders poked out of the water.

Warm hands fell onto his shoulders. “Relax,” Jude instructed him, and his posture slowly fell again, leaning back into the embrace of his calloused palms.

His thumbs rubbed into his tight muscles, and Ludger felt himself melt. This was its own kind of magic. His fingers found all his sore spots, all the knots he didn’t even know he had.

“You really _are_ a blessing,” Ludger sighed, and even though he couldn’t see Jude’s smile, he could almost feel it.

Jude’s breath tickled the back of his neck when he replied. “I’m glad I can help.”

After a while of bliss, the hands on the back of his neck eased off of the muscle there, and trailed lightly down his arms, back into the water. Ludger let out a long breath.

“...Can I turn around now?”

“Yeah,” Jude breathed. Ludger shifted around again, and his eyes took in the curve of Jude’s shoulders that peeked out of the water.

“Thanks,” he said quietly, and Jude nodded.

“Anytime.” He started to lift himself out of the water, and Ludger’s gaze dragged over him. His chest and stomach were lean, not quite toned, but concealing a strength Ludger knew was there. Beads of water clung to him, dragged over his skin, pooled in the light contours of his muscles. Jude sat on the edge of the bath and left his feet in the water adjusting his towel shyly.

“...I was getting a little too warm,” he explained, and Ludger blinked. His gaze lifted to Jude’s scarlet face, and he realized he’d been caught staring. Realized he’d _wanted_ to be caught. Realized that a certain desire was pooling in the pit of his stomach, daring him to drag his lips over Jude’s thighs, to lap up the sweat and bath water that clung to him.

He tore his gaze away, feeling lightheaded. This was a public bath. This was _dangerous._

“I’m getting a little hot, too,” he said.

Jude bit his lip, and Ludger could feel his eyes locked on him, like he was waiting to say something, or maybe holding something back.

“...Maybe we should head back to Ivar’s place,” Jude suggested after a long pause. “Unless…”

Ludger held his breath. _Unless?_

Jude shook his head, and pulled his feet from the water, standing up and adjusting his towel yet again. “No, nevermind. I’m going to dry off—if you’re overheating, you should get out, too.”

“Right…” Ludger’s voice was breathy, almost sort of strained. Jude’s bare footsteps on the concrete floor faded, and Ludger sank into the water again, bubbles emerging from his mouth as he let out a long sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ivar never gave up on that bathhouse...... thanks, Ivar


	12. Fruit

Ludger’s head bobbed, fighting to find a comfortable place to rest it as he dozed in the passenger seat. He’d been unable to sleep most of the night, thinking about Jude curled up in his catlike way in the bed just next to his. It would have been so easy to get up and crawl under the covers beside Jude’s warmth instead. Jude would have welcomed it, even. He was sure he would have curled close to him, with their knees brushing, his fingers resting on Ludger’s chest, or his waist…

But nerves had rooted him in his bed. If they were alone in a hotel room, would he have dared? Maybe if they’d been alone, Ludger would have done more than crawl into Jude’s bed—he would have found his lips, found his skin, and found a different reason to lose sleep than simply lying awake in longing.

His head fell forward again, hitting the seat belt and startling him awake. He rubbed his hand over his face and groaned. In the seat beside him, Jude chuckled.

“Still tired?”

“I’m always tired,” Ludger yawned. He looked out at the scenery that had changed around them. Soft clouds stretched across the bright blue afternoon sky.

“We’re almost to Hamil,” Jude told him, “I’m thinking it might be a good idea to stop there.”

They had been on the road for hours, but they were still in the middle of rural nowhere. The mountains had flattened out into long fields and pastures, lined with crops or fenced in with cows and other livestock.

“Yeah,” Ludger agreed, “It might be the only town for a while, at this rate.”

He began his typical ritual of watching for the blue signs along the highway that informed them of food and lodging, but they never came. Only a single, tiny sign let them know they were taking the right exit: _Welcome to Hamil, population 631._

“Think they even have lodging?” Jude wondered nervously as they took the exit ramp, slowing down on the gravel road that took them into town. There were only a handful of buildings—city hall, a library, a tiny donut shop, and a diner.

An old woman was walking along the side of the road. Ludger rolled down the window. “Excuse me!” he called out to her, and she stopped mid-stride, turning to face the car instead. “Is there a motel, or anywhere to stay nearby?”

The woman smiled and shook her head. “Oh, no, nothing like that here. We don’t get many visitors.”

Jude leaned over the cup holders between them so he could talk to her through the passenger window. “How far to the next town with an inn?” he asked.

“About a hundred miles Southeast,” she told them. “If you’re needing to stop sooner, though, we sometimes let campers set up in our orchard.”

Ludger glanced at Jude, as they both silently weighed their options. “It’s just north of town,” the woman told them with another gentle smile, and resumed her walk into city hall.

“It can’t hurt to check it out, right?” Jude wondered aloud, and Ludger shrugged.

“Today’s gone pretty well,” Ludger acknowledged, “We should probably stop while we’re ahead. If we try to make it to the next town, _something_ will happen.”

Jude laughed. “Yeah, you’re right.” He put the car back into gear, and crawled through the town heading North, searching for trees.

Hills spread out around them, dotted with small, wooden houses. The road curved to the right, winding at the base of the hills, and led them to a broad, flat pasture that was filled with rows and rows of towering apple trees.

Jude parked on the side of the road, halfway in the grass. A childish excitement rose up in Ludger’s heart, looking out through the shaded orchard. It was the perfect place for a young child to explore, to run between the trees, hide behind the thick trunks, climb in the branches.

He hadn’t climbed a tree since he was younger than Elle—Julius had taken his eyes off of him long enough for him to dare, curiosity overwhelming him as he hoisted himself up in the branches, leaves brushing his cheeks, wind in his hair. That day, he’d learned the hard way to listen to his brother. He’d broken his arm in three places when he fell.

As far as he knew, Elle had never climbed a tree. Even when Ludger knew exactly what would happen should she try, it seemed almost criminal that she was denied such a privilege of childhood.

Jude climbed out of the car and stretched, looking out at the trees. “Want to explore a little?” he asked, catching onto Ludger’s excitement.

“Yeah,” Ludger answered, feeling his smile grow. Jude walked around the car to stand next to him, and bumped his shoulder lightly. Ludger leaned into it for a moment, and they walked into the cover of the trees together.

Ludger craned his neck, looking up into the branches with wonder. Up among the topmost branches, platforms were built between the trunks, with long ladders stretching down to the ground. Everything in him itched to climb them, to explore the heights, but he squashed it down. Falling from that height could actually kill him.

The further they got into the orchard, the more of a magical stillness seemed to fall over them. There was no breeze cutting between the trunks, and despite the late afternoon sun, only bits of dappled light cut through to the ground.

“Elle would love this,” he said quietly, an old, dull ache surfacing in his chest.

Jude smiled knowingly at him, and the patches of sunlight hit his face, illuminating his bright, amber eyes. Ludger felt all his breath leave him.

“We can bring her back here, another time,” Jude said, with all the confidence Ludger had always wished he had.

“We?” He asked, only half-teasing. “You’d travel with me again, even after all of this?”

“Of course I would,” Jude assured him, without a moment’s hesitation. “I thought you’d know that by now.”

Ludger felt the corners of his mouth twitch upward. “Yeah, I guess I do.”

The corners of Jude’s eyes crinkled as he smiled back at him, then turned his face up to gaze at the treetops.

“Do you think the townspeople will mind if we take a couple apples?” he pondered. “We could leave a little money before we depart tomorrow…”

Ludger chuckled. “You planning on climbing up there to get them?”

“Sure—I guess it’s not safe for you, is it? I can climb up, though. I’ll get one for you, too.”

Ludger smirked at him. “What would I do without you?” he crooned, and almost on command, a light blush rose to Jude’s cheeks.

“It’s no big deal,” he insisted, “Just wait here.”

He mounted the nearest ladder and began the climb with full confidence in his grip and balance. Ludger sat down under the tree next to it and watched his ascent, his arms and legs working swiftly, pulling him up each step with ease.

When Jude reached the top of the ladder, Ludger closed his eyes, head leaning back against the rough trunk of the tree. The lightest hint of a breeze brushed over his skin, and his lungs filled with warm, fruit-scented air. The grass was sparse, given the amount of shade cast by the trees, but soft beneath him. It wouldn’t be so bad to sleep here, as long as the temperature didn’t drop too much after dark.

A loud shout, accompanied by the sound of weight hitting the ground made his eyes snap open. He immediately jumped to his feet, but Jude was standing a short distance away, unharmed, with two apples in hand.

He froze at Ludger’s reaction, blinking at him. “...Sorry. Did I startle you?”

Ludger let out a long breath of relief, and he relaxed his shoulders, slinking back down onto the grass. “I thought you fell.”

Comprehension donned on Jude’s face. “Sorry, I jumped once I was closer to the ground. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Ludger hummed. “That’s okay. Glad you’re not hurt. Was it fun?”

“Yeah, it’s almost like flying.” His voice was joyful, a little breathless, like his adrenaline was still pumping from the excitement of it. Ludger was a little envious. Jude sat down on the ground next to him, close enough that his knee bumped him when he crossed his legs, and offered him one of the apples.

“They smell sweet,” Jude said, “I bet they’re great.”

Ludger snorted, but took the apple, rubbing it on his shirt. “We’ll see. I usually slice my apples. They’re almost always rotten if I bite into them blindly.”

“Oh—we should split it open first, then.”

“With what? You have a knife?”

Jude shook his head. “No… here, let me see it.”

Ludger passed the apple back to him, and Jude gripped it in both hands, with his thumbs on top. He squeezed it, and in one swift motion, ripped it cleanly in half.

Ludger gaped. “How’d you do that?”

Jude laughed. “It’s actually not as hard as it looks, as long as the apple isn’t too big for your hands.” He handed one half of the apple to Ludger, and kept the other half for himself.

“Here, no signs of rotting.”

Ludger accepted the fruit, but his eyes remained locked on Jude, who had raised his half to his lips. He took a bite. The sound was crisp, and a trail of juice trickled down his chin. He wiped it away with the back of his head, and hummed. “Mm, it _is_ sweet.”

Ludger had lost interest in the apple, but he longed to taste for himself, from another source. He set his half on the ground without taking a single bite. Jude’s gaze found his, inevitably found the intensity of longing that had to be written all over his face, and he lowered his own apple half to his side. He leaned over his crossed legs, closer to Ludger, keeping that silent eye contact.

It was exactly the same as it had been in Nia Khera. Jude was shy, hesitant, but if he reached out, Ludger could easily pull him in. And this time, no one was around to interrupt them. Ludger took a deep breath, raised his hand to Jude’s face—

Something hard made contact with his skull with a loud _thunk._ Ludger yelped in pain and shock, hands flying to the top of his head as he curled forward.

Jude’s hands were quickly on the back of his neck, fingers combing through his hair. “Are you okay?” he asked, and there was mirth in his voice alongside the pity.

Ludger rubbed his head as he opened his eyes. Another apple sat next to Jude’s knee. Bitterly, Ludger hoped it would be just as bruised as he was. “You’ve gotta be kidding me,” he grumbled, and he felt Jude’s breath as he laughed.

“This can’t keep happening, can it?” Jude asked, lightly amused.

“At this rate, I’ll _never_ get to kiss you,” Ludger whined.

Jude laughed again, but the feeling was different—he’d said it out loud, gotten it out in the open. It was more than the implication that had been hanging between them for the last week. Jude’s fingers curled gently against his neck.

“...You still could.”

Ludger raised his face to peek at Jude, but he’d moved even closer than he had been before the apple dropped. Their noses brushed, and Ludger held his breath.

Jude’s hands in his hair stilled as they looked at each other, eyes out of focus at such close distance. Jude’s slid shut, and his forehead rested gently against Ludger’s. He was so close, Ludger could taste the sweetness of the apple on his breath.

He pressed their lips together gently. Jude’s lips were still lightly sticky from fruit juice, and Ludger was eager to lick them clean. Jude’s fingers in Ludger’s hair balled into a soft fist, and he exhaled through his nose, melting into Ludger in a way that just drove him crazy.

Ludger’s arms wrapped around Jude’s waist, and he shifted onto his knees in order to scoot their bodies closer together. Their lips slid against each other, warm, smooth, packed full of heavy emotion they’d both known was there, but that they hadn’t quite shared aloud. Ludger wasn’t sure he’d even be able to string together the right words if he tried, but he hoped Jude picked up on it all in the way his fingertips pressed into his back, in the way he hungrily pulled his lower lip between his own.

Jude’s touch was gentle. While Ludger clung tightly to him, Jude’s hands caressed his shoulders and cradled his head. They hadn’t known each other long, but that didn’t stop the intense waves of love that crashed around him. He couldn’t breathe, but he didn’t want to. He was happy to drown in Jude’s embrace.

Jude’s fingers grazed a tender spot on his head. Ludger ignored it, but Jude became distracted, gingerly feeling it, and his lips broke away.

“You have a bump on your head,” he breathed, but Ludger was already closing the space between them again.

“I don’t care,” he mumbled, and he felt Jude smile against his lips.

Ludger ran his hands up through his thick, dark hair. It was soft, smooth, and slid between his fingers in just the way he dreamed it would. Jude’s hand ran down over his chest and rested over his heart.

Ludger finally broke his lips away and leaned his forehead against Jude’s again, just listening to him breathe, and breathing himself. Neither of them spoke for a long moment, until Ludger pulled away and flopped backward onto the grass.

Jude leaned over him, confusion and concern written on his face, but Ludger grinned up at him.

“You killed me,” he explained, and Jude’s nose crinkled, eyes softening as his concern morphed into fondness, and he laughed.

“I hope not.”

He crawled over close to him and lay more carefully in the grass, and Ludger rolled onto his side, propping his head up on his hand so he could look down at him.

“You’ve been driving me crazy the past few days, you know that?” Ludger asked, and Jude laughed again, looking a little embarrassed.

“I’m glad I wasn’t the only one.”

“But you knew how I felt, didn’t you?”

“I… sort of guessed, but I wasn’t really sure. You probably knew a long time ago, though, huh?”

“I actually only guessed, too, but after yesterday I was pretty sure.”

“Really?” Jude sounded genuinely surprised. “I… I know I’m not subtle, I figured you would have caught on long before that.”

Ludger smirked. “How long is… _long?”_

Jude blushed. “Well I… I don’t really know _when_ exactly…”

“We’ve only been traveling together a couple weeks, Jude,” Ludger prompted curiously, his smirk growing into a grin. “Surely you have to have _some_ idea.”

Jude scratched his nose self-consciously. “Sometime around when we reached Xian Du,” he admitted. “I thought that was kind of obvious. But I was… interested before then, too.”

Ludger supposed it _should_ have been obvious, if he really thought about it.

“What about you?” Jude prodded, and Ludger hummed, wondering how best to not seem utterly hopeless.

“...Before then.”

It was Jude’s turn to look sly. He raised his eyebrows, and his mouth curled into a curious smile. “How long before then?”

Ludger hemmed and hawed, shifting onto his back to look up at the branches above them instead of Jude’s playfully curious eyes.

“...Sapstrath?”

_“That early?”_

Ludger’s cheeks were burning as he continued to avoid Jude’s gaze. “You pet my hair while I was sick, it’s not my fault I fell for you. I was _weak.”_

To his surprise, no playful quip answered him. He finally peeked over at him, and found Jude’s face was as bright a shade as his felt.

“...I didn’t know you were awake when I did that,” Jude finally admitted quietly.

Ludger snorted, then full on laughed. Jude smiled a little too.

“I liked it,” Ludger assured him, rolling to face him again.

Jude reached out to run his fingers through his bangs, pushing them back out of his face. Ludger closed his eyes and reveled in the touch, and he heard Jude chuckle softly.

“Do you dye your bangs?” he asked.

“No, it’s natural,” Ludger deadpanned.

“...Really?”

Ludger opened his eyes, and couldn’t hold back a grin. “No, I’m kidding. Of course I dye them.”

“Then… your eyebrow, too?”

Ludger blinked. “Why, you don’t think it’s cool?”

Jude raised his eyebrows in a fond, gentle way, but his mouth still wavered as he fought a laugh. “No, no, it’s cool,” he promised weakly.

“You’re lying.”

A short laugh escaped Jude’s lips, and he shook his head. “Really! It’s… an interesting Ludger trait. I like it.”

Ludger’s mouth fell into a pout. The little pride he held onto had taken a hit. Jude’s fingers dragged back against his scalp in an attempt to pull him back.

“Hey, don’t look like that! Really, I like it! It’s… cute?”

Ludger’s jaw dropped. “Cute?!”

Jude laughed again, and he kissed his nose. “...Cute,” he confirmed.

...Ludger supposed he could handle being cute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter I'll be posting for a week or two! I've just about caught up to where I've been writing now, and I'll be posting some different stuff for xillia week! Please leave me your thoughts in the mean time, I'll get going on this again soon!!! <3


	13. Roaming Static

Jude woke in a comfortable haze. Soft, early morning sunlight streamed through the tree trunks, casting the shadiest areas in a gentle, purple hue. He was enveloped in warm, secure arms. His face was resting against Ludger’s chest—he could hear his reduced, sleeping heartbeat. Jude caught himself unconsciously counting the beats per minute. Ludger’s nose was nestled in his hair, his deep, slow breaths rustling it just slightly. The blanket from Jude’s trunk was draped over them, wrapped under them, shielding them from the light chill of the night air.

Ludger was steady, in all the ways Jude wished he was himself. He was held back by his curse, by the world around him, yet he kept pushing on, for himself, and for the people he loved.

People called Jude ambitious all the time, but Jude wasn’t sure if he even knew what ambition felt like. He was studious, sure, and he wouldn’t deny that the road to becoming a doctor was hard work, but there was never any real _ambition_ behind the choice. It felt more like an obligation, or expectation. It was never something he did for himself.

Traveling with Ludger might seem the opposite; he was following, aimlessly supporting. But he was also _searching._ When he followed him to Kanbalar, it might have been the first big step he had ever taken because _he_ wanted to.

Ludger sighed softly in his sleep, his fingers balling themselves into fists. Jude rubbed small circles over his back, and he relaxed again.

Ludger needed someone, too, and Jude loved being there to help hold him up. He felt it was entirely mutual. The way Ludger craved his touch, the soft way he leaned into it made Jude feel a certain importance. They made each other weak in the knees, but they drew strength from the very same affection.

Jude nuzzled closer into Ludger’s sleeping embrace, and the arms around him tightened, fingers combing up through his hair. Jude smiled, and took a deep breath of Ludger’s scent—clean, but with a hint of sweat, with something grassy underlying. Probably influenced by the orchard around him, but underneath the inevitable scent of the outdoors, there was something impossible to describe, something purely _Ludger._

Ludger groaned as he slowly woke up. He took a deep breath, and the exhale traveled through Jude’s hair and down over the back of his neck. “Morning,” he said tiredly.

“Good morning,” Jude answered him.

Ludger’s face lifted from his hair so he could roll his neck. Jude pulled back from his chest, resting his head on Ludger’s tricep instead to smile at him. “Did you sleep okay?”

“Mmhm,” Ludger mumbled, his eyes fighting to stay open fully as he tried to wake up more.

“If we get started early, we might be able to make it to Duval by tonight,” Jude mused.

“Nah, we won’t. But if we plan on it, maybe we’ll get as far as Aladhi.” He met Jude’s eyes, and they both laughed.

“Yeah, you’re right. I don’t know why we even try to plan, anymore. We just need to shoot for Marksburg, and see where we end up along the way, huh?”

“At least with you around, I can believe I’ll get there eventually.” He said it lightly, but there was thick emotion lying beneath the words.

Jude’s hand found Ludger’s face, and he scooted in to kiss him gently. Ludger melted into him, and Jude drank him in, feeling that importance surge through him in the form of lightly chapped lips molded against his own.

He moved away again and sat up. Ludger’s eyes followed him, almost begging him to snuggle back down and stay through the day. Jude trailed his hand down Ludger’s forearm and locked their fingers together, urging him to join him, instead.

“Let’s see how far we get today.”

  


* * *

  


The road stretched out in front of them again. From the time he had set out from Fennmont, two things had remained constant: the steady vibration of the tires over gravel, and the ever-changing horizon.

They were a comfort, a promise of progress. Some parts of him would remain as constant as the gravel roads. Present for centuries, no matter how weathered they had become, no matter how humanity may have paved them over time and time again.

Like the horizon, however, other parts of him would change, and that was what he was learning to be okay with, to look forward to instead of resisting as he always had. The steady roads at his core led him to new horizons, to a new Jude.

Ludger was filtering between radio stations. Some were nothing but static, others only had certain notes filter through the white noise. He had been at it for a while, the tip of his tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth as he attempted to tune into a local radio station, just for a little variety beyond both of their tastes. Jude had welcomed the idea when he suggested it—he had rarely ever branched out, stayed in his bubble, playing the same tunes on endless repeat as a simple comfort, something to cling to, something to cope with when he felt most lost.

Ludger’s music taste was more upbeat, the lyrics more nonsensical, but for him they were a piece of his family. He might have used the familiar tunes to cope in a similar way to Jude, but the history that backed them was entirely different.

A little variance could do them both some good, Jude thought. But whether it was the curse interfering, or simply the rural hills they traveled over, it seemed impossible to tune into any station. Ludger groaned in frustration and whacked the dash above the car’s radio.

Jude tried not to smile at his clear annoyance. “...Did that help?”

“No.” Ludger cradled the hand he had slammed down.

“You hurt your hand.”

Ludger’s shoulders slumped. _“Yeah.”_

With a long sigh, he finally cut the radio altogether, and they sat in silence, with only the sound of the road beneath them.

“Well, so much for that,” Jude said with a shrug.

Ludger hummed, and flopped his head back against the headrest, clearly disheartened.

“That’s okay, though,” Jude insisted, “It doesn’t matter what we listen to. We don’t even have to put anything on, if you’re tired of what we’ve been playing.”

Ludger just sighed and shrugged. “Yeah, I guess it doesn’t matter much.”

The smell of manure filtered into the car. It wasn’t uncommon with the pastures around them, and they both ignored it, but as they drove on, it became unbearably strong.

“Eugh,” Ludger voiced, and Jude could feel his own mouth turned down in disgust.

“Yeah, no kidding,” he agreed. It didn’t seem to be passing, either—only getting stronger. Jude’s eyes watered a little as he attempted to hold his breath.

Ludger pulled his shirt up over his nose and coughed. “God, what are these cows eating?!”

Jude laughed, and immediately regretted the sharp inhale he took. He left one hand on the wheel and tried to bury his nose in the crook of his elbow.

“They must have freshly manured the fields,” Jude explained, voice muffled by his elbow.

“Freshly _what?!”_

Jude chuckled again, but was very careful not to take too deep a breath following it. “They use it for fertilizer—even then, though, I don’t know if I’ve ever smelled it _this_ strong.”

“Of course you haven’t, it’s because I’m here. _God,_ when will it pass?! I’ll take another rockslide, this is just too much, I can’t take it.”

They both choked on the wretched smell as they laughed.

It finally began to ease up, and Jude let out all the breath he’d been trying to hold. Ludger laughed again.

“That’s our quota. Everything else for the rest of the day has to be smooth sailing. That was enough bad luck for the whole _week.”_

Jude hadn’t quite seen Ludger come this loose with regards to the curse. It was refreshing, to encounter a typical road bump on the trip, and be able to joke and laugh about it like this.

“You really can’t handle bad smells, can you, city boy?” Jude asked. He was curious about this side of Ludger. Amusement bubbled up in his chest.

Ludger sputtered and fumbled to defend himself. “Sure I can, but nothing like _that.”_

Jude laughed. “Fair enough. That was a bad one.”

Ludger shook his head. “ _Bad_ doesn’t even begin to cover it, _country boy.”_

Jude laughed. “I’m actually from around here,” he admitted, “I didn’t live near any of the fields myself, but they were still around. The smells sometimes came into town, but we were all accustomed to it. Only the occasional tourists would ever say anything about it.”

“Oh—” Realization fell over Ludger’s face, and Jude inwardly cringed. “Your hometown is nearby?”

Jude silently kept his eyes on the road for a moment before he consented to answer. “Mm… yeah, it is.”

“Do you want to stop in? We can make a detour, I don’t mind—”

Jude shook his head quickly. “I don’t.” He was surprised by how quickly the words fell from his mouth. The nagging obligation had been in the back of his mind over the past couple of days, since he had realized they would be passing close to it. He had quietly been weighing it, and had ultimately decided he would rather not bring it up at all.

The strong aversion to the idea of seeing his parents was a bit of a revelation. He had never particularly looked forward to his visits to Leronde, but he had always excused it to himself quietly as being busy, being focused on his studies.

The reality was, he was much happier away from his parents’ influence. And that was tough to digest.

He glanced at Ludger, and offered him a weak smile. “...Sorry. I’d rather not stop in.”

Ludger’s eyebrows were pulled together. He was clearly trying to piece together Jude’s home life, but he didn’t ask any questions. Jude almost wished he would, if he had them. “Fair enough,” he said simply.

Jude sighed. “It’s just… I’m taking this trip for myself, not for what they’ve always expected me to be. They aren’t part of this. I’ll go back when I’m ready, it’s not like I hate them…”

“You just need some separation,” Ludger said, and he nodded in understanding.

“I guess so,” Jude agreed. “It’s complicated.”

“It always is, finding your way.”

Jude smiled. Ludger’s words were assuring. “Thanks—”

His attention snapped back to the road. Up ahead, debris and glass littered the right lane he traveled in. He started to shift lanes, but something beyond the debris caught his eye.

“My God, is that a person?” Jude nearly shouted, immediately slamming on the brakes so he could pull over. A man was huddled in the shoulder just off the road, surrounded by bloody shards of glass. Jude pulled off the road just before they reached him. Ludger craned his neck to look out the windshield, and he gasped sharply. A mix of panicked emotions eclipsed his face, and he threw the car door open before Jude had fully rolled to a stop.

“Ludger?!”

Jude looked out at the man, expecting the worst to have pulled such a strong reaction from Ludger. Blood was matted in blonde hair, a pair of rectangle glasses bent and broken on the pavement next to his face, which was twisted in pain.

Ludger’s voice was raw, shaken, filled to the brim with fear and grief.

_“Julius!”_


	14. Seconds

The world around him stopped as Ludger leapt from the moving car. He broke into a run, crossing the short distance to his brother’s crumpled body, shoes crunching on the glass that littered the pavement.

“Julius!” he shouted, and his throat ached as fear choked him. Julius had always taken whatever the curse threw at him. Even when he’d been struck by _lightning,_ Ludger had never seen him look so physically _broken._

Julius sucked in a sharp breath and attempted to turn over, but winced and froze. “...Ludger?”

Ludger knelt down in the glass, disregarding it as it dug into his knees. Julius’s arm was laying on the pavement at an odd angle. His left sleeve was dyed red with blood—glass shards of various sizes protruded from his body. Ludger’s hand found his right shoulder and shook him lightly.

“Julius, what happened?!”

“A car… veered off the road where I was walking,” Julius managed. “...Hit the windshield.” Ludger’s hands shook as he scanned Julius’s body.

Footsteps crunched through the glass, and Ludger instinctively threw his arms over Julius, throwing a panicked, warning glare toward—Jude.

The doctor paused his steps, locking eyes with Ludger for a moment until his defensive posture relaxed, but panic still surged through his heart. They’d never been able to trust in help before, but Jude was different. He knew that. He trusted Jude. He felt his lip tremble as he stared up into his amber gaze.

_Help,_ he wanted to cry, _please._

Jude took another tentative step toward them, eyes searching Ludger for permission. When he didn’t resume his defense, he squatted down more carefully than Ludger had, so that none of the glass cut him.

“Julius,” he said steadily, “I’m a doctor. Can I help you?”

Julius’s eyes were full of the same instinctual distrust.

“He’s a friend,” Ludger supplied, finding his voice.

Julius looked at Ludger with a frenzied sort of trust, as though searching him, silently asking _are you sure?_ Ludger nodded, and Julius relented. “Okay,” he grunted.

Jude set his first aid kit on the road beside him and immediately began checking vitals. He examined Julius’s head first, then sliced his shirt open. Several shards of glass were lodged into his torso.

Jude pressed his fingers into Julius’s right wrist. “Did you hit your head?” he asked.

“I don’t think so,” Julius answered.

“I need you to take a big, deep breath for me. Can you do that?”

Ludger’s ears rang as he watched his brother comply. His hands itched to do something, to help, but the best he could do was to put his trust in Jude.

Jude lay Julius’s wrist down again, and his eyes met Ludger’s again. “We should take him to a hospital,” he said.

Ludger shook his head quickly. “We can’t,” he said firmly, “They’ll send him to prison.”

Jude’s shoulders slumped, and he sighed. “Ludger… I can’t tell how deep the glass is lodged into his abdomen. It could have ruptured an organ. This isn’t worth the risk.”

The words cut through to Ludger and lodged in his chest. He choked back a sob as hot tears obscured his vision. This wasn’t how he wanted to be reunited with Julius—not at all.

“...You’re right,” he assented quietly, but Julius grunted loudly, interrupting them.

“If it got that deep, I’m a dead man regardless,” he insisted, his voice ragged with pain.

Jude frowned deeply. “Don’t say that!” he said sharply. “You can’t stop fighting, even if you know the odds are against you. You’ll have the best chance at a hospital, under better care than I can give you alone.”

Julius fought to take a steadying breath, and firmly met Jude’s eyes. “What you don’t understand, doc, is that the care _you_ get at the hospital isn’t the same care _we_ get.”

Jude clenched his jaw. Ludger watched as the seconds ticked by, until Jude finally nodded once.

“Ludger, I need you to help me lift him. We need to move him as little as possible so that none of the glass is pushed deeper.”

Ludger sucked in a breath, returning a fraction of clarity to his head. “Where are we going?”

“To my family’s clinic in Leronde.”

  


* * *

  


Ludger sat behind the passenger seat, Julius’s head carefully cradled in his lap as Jude drove as smoothly as possible. Julius kept his eyes shut and clenched his teeth whenever they hit a light bump in the road.

Ludger slipped his hand into Julius’s right one, and squeezed it tight. His glove-clad left hand was limp, and stained the seat with blood.

“Didn’t think anyone would find me there,” Julius muttered, his fingers wrapping tightly around Ludger’s hand to squeeze it in return. “...Let alone my brother.”

Ludger’s stomach churned as emotion and leftover panic took turns punching him. “It was Jude who spotted you,” he admitted.

If Jude hadn’t accompanied him, Ludger never would have made it this far on foot. If they hadn’t driven past, would anyone have stopped to help him? The idea sent a fresh wave of nausea over him. Even if Julius’s injuries weren’t life-threatening, he could easily have been left for dead on the side of the highway.

It made him _angry._

“How are you doing back there?” Jude checked in, his eyes peeking back at them in the rear view mirror.

“Alive,” Julius grunted.

“We’re ten minutes outside of town, hang in there.”

It was the longest ten minutes of Ludger’s life; even longer than the time he had spent dangling from the roof, wrapped in Christmas lights when he was sixteen. Every second seemed to slow down, while he hung at the mercy of the universe that never held back any punches. Another second the cord could break, sending him plummeting to the ground. Another second Julius was in agony, another second something could rupture.

The movement of the car slowed, and they took more turns as they entered town. Closer. Closer. At last, the car stopped, and Ludger remained still until the ignition was cut.

“I’m going to run inside and make sure we have a bed ready before we move him again,” Jude told him. “Stay here with him, I’ll be right back.”

Ludger nodded once, and watched him disappear into the house. It would have appeared to be nothing other than someone’s home, if not for the sign just outside the door that read _Mathis Family Clinic._

“...You trust him a lot,” Julius voiced after a long stretch of nothing but labored, pained breathing.

“Yeah.” He couldn’t seem to formulate more of a response. Usually, Julius would have prompted him for more—but in this state, he merely accepted Ludger’s short answer.

Jude emerged from the clinic with a woman, carrying a stretcher. He opened the car door on the side Ludger sat on.

“Come on out,” Jude instructed him, “We’ll take it from here.”

As soon as he stepped out of the car, Jude and the woman spoke to each other in urgent, steady commands so that together, they could lift Julius safely from the backseat and lay him on the stretcher. As Ludger watched, he realized the woman resembled Jude—she had the same dark hair, the same amber eyes.

He followed them into the clinic, and directly into the first room. A man was waiting for them inside, wearing a surgical mask and pulling rubber gloves onto his hands.

“Who’s this?” he asked sharply, gesturing to Ludger. “You can’t come in here, wait outside.”

“Ludger’s his brother,” Jude argued, but the man shook his head.

“He’s not a patient, he’s not a doctor. He’ll be in the way. He can wait outside.”

Ludger’s hand clenched in the fabric over his chest. Jude looked at him helplessly.

“We’ll take care of him,” Jude promised him, and Ludger nodded once.

“...I trust you.” His voice sounded far away, like someone else was speaking for him. The man in the surgical mask stepped in between them, shooing Ludger out the door.

“Out. Let us do our work.”

The door shut in Ludger’s face. He wasn’t sure how long he spent standing there, staring at the wood in front of his nose, before he took a step back and sank onto the bench against the wall.

Time stood still. From the other side of the door, he could hear urgent voices, pained grunts, the clicking of tools set down on the table. Were things going well? Going badly? Maybe he wouldn’t have felt any better inside the room, but at least he would have something to focus on. Sitting still on the bench left him with too many thoughts, too many fears.

At last, the door opened, and Jude emerged. Ludger stood up quickly, and Jude smiled at him gently. “Relax,” he said, “He’ll be fine. We have him all stitched up, he’s just resting now.”

“Can I see him?” Ludger asked, his voice coming out strained, desperate, terrified despite Jude’s assurance.

Jude nodded, and stepped aside to let him into the room.

Ludger rushed in. The man and woman—Jude’s parents, he assumed—were cleaning up in the corner of the room. Julius was draped under a sheet, laying on his back, his breaths coming slow and even.

Relief washed over Ludger at the sight of him. Julius was alive. Safe. _Here._

“Is he asleep?” he asked quietly.

“We gave him a little anesthesia, or he’d have been howling,” the man, Jude’s father, said harshly. “It was irresponsible to bring him here, instead of calling paramedics to the scene. You’re all lucky it wasn’t any worse.”

Waves of hostility and judgment rolled off of him, directed at both himself and Jude.

“It was a difficult situation,” Jude supplied, but his voice was soft, his eyes downcast.

“If you still can’t determine the severity of a situation, young man, your schooling was a _waste.”_

Ludger waited for Jude to defend himself again, but he didn’t. He merely balled his fists, staring hard at the floor.

“...How can you say that?” Ludger’s words left him before he could stop them. Anger and relief swirled together, fueling him. “My brother’s _alive,_ how could you say Jude made the wrong call?!”

“This is none of your concern,” the man dismissed. “This is a family affair, it has nothing to do with you.”

“But it does!” He raised his voice, tension wracked through his whole body. “Jude made the best decision for us! You don’t even have all the information!”

The man only dismissed him again, walking past him for the door. “Jude, calm your friend down. I don’t want to hear from either of you until you can act like adults.”

Ludger spun to follow him, opening his mouth again, but Jude’s hands found his arm, holding him back.

_“Ludger.”_

Ludger’s head whipped to face him, and Jude merely shook his head. Some of the fight left him, but his anger simply settled in his chest, ready to surge back up at a moment’s notice.

The woman in the corner quietly finished her cleaning, and walked past them. “...You know your father’s only looking out for you, honey,” she said. Her voice was smooth, in a way that Jude’s resembled, and yet the impression she gave Ludger was nothing like her son.

Jude may have become a doctor to follow their footsteps, but while he maintained that strong desire to help others, to fight for them, both of his parents seemed to have _given up._

“I know, Mom,” Jude said quietly, eyes trained on the floor again. Ludger grit his teeth until she’d left the room, closing the door behind her with a soft click.

Slowly, Jude raised his face to look at Ludger again. “...Sorry about that,” he said, with a strong air of embarrassment. “Dad and I don’t really… see eye to eye.”

“You’re not the one who should apologize,” Ludger replied quickly, surprised by how harsh his voice still was.

Jude gave him a weak smile. “Julius is safe, though. That’s what matters.”

Ludger’s eyes fell on the bed, on the gentle rise and fall of his brother’s chest. More of his anger dissolved, replaced by more genuine relief, given more time to soak in.

He stepped closer to the bed. Julius’s brow was slightly pinched as he slept, and without his glasses, he looked uncharacteristically angry. A surge of childhood memories rose in his chest, burying his rage further. There was a time Ludger was scared of this face. The very idea was laughable now, of course—it was the face of someone strong and dependable, who’d gone through too much, too early.

The sound of something scooting across the floor reached his ears. Jude had brought a chair over for him. Ludger gratefully took a seat, exhausted now that the tension and adrenaline was draining from his veins.

“...Thanks, Jude.”

“Of course,” Jude replied, his ever-supporting hand falling onto his shoulder. Ludger leaned into it.

“For everything. For saving him. For… being here.”

Jude smiled, and his fingers squeezed his shoulder lightly.

“...Always.”


	15. Hours

Ludger poked at the bandages on his knees. The glass had cut him pretty deep, yet somehow, he hadn’t even felt it. It had merely been an afterthought, once things had settled down, to have Jude take a look at the wounds.

There had been smaller shards still lodged in his flesh. The pain Ludger had been able to ignore before had become a bit more real as Jude dug them out. He should have gotten a lecture about being more careful—he wasn’t sure why he expected that from Jude. Maybe he actually expected it from Julius.

But Jude had silently understood Ludger’s carelessness, and Julius—well, Julius was still asleep.

From another part of the house, a clock distantly chimed eleven. Ludger had hardly moved from his seat since Jude had offered it to him. His brother lay flat on his back with a slight pinch above the bridge of his nose, while his body did its best to rest in spite of the obvious pain it was in. Ludger wanted to sleep, but he simply couldn’t find it in himself to leave Julius in favor of another bed.

The door quietly creaked open, and Jude emerged, offering Ludger a smile. “Still sleeping?” he asked softly.

Ludger nodded, looking up at him as he crossed the room to stand beside his chair.

“His body’s recovering, it’s perfectly normal. It’s good, in fact, that he’s resting so well.”

“Yeah,” Ludger agreed, drowsiness showing a bit in his voice.

He watched as Jude leaned over the bed to gently nudge Julius awake. They’d had to do this every hour, to check for concussion. Julius didn’t remember hitting his head, but Jude had told them it was important to go through the process, just in case.

Julius stirred awake, and Jude smiled. “Sorry to wake you again,” he said quietly. “Can you tell me your name?”

“...Julius Kresnik.”

“Thank you.” Jude’s voice was very kind, but not condescending. “Do you know where you are right now?”

“Not the hospital,” Julius mumbled.

Jude looked amused. “...Well, that’s right. Do you know what day of the week it is?”

“Tuesday, unless it’s past midnight.”

“Yeah, still Tuesday. And last one: do you know who you’re with right now?”

Julius’s face turned slightly to face Ludger, and he smiled gently. “My brother,” he answered, “...Still. Shouldn’t you be in bed, Ludger?”

Jude’s amusement increased, but he stayed quiet, checking off some boxes on Julius’s chart.

“I’m not a kid, Julius.”

Julius chuckled weakly, trying not to wince at the pain in his abdomen. “I know, I know. That doesn’t mean you don’t need rest, though.”

“I’m fine,” Ludger insisted. “I can rest here, it’s no problem.”

Julius raised his eyebrows fondly. “I’ll still be here in the morning,” he said. Ludger only frowned at him.

“...Can you really promise that?”

Heavy silence blanketed the room.

After a long moment, Julius sighed. “I… guess I can’t, really. We both know better than to make promises, don’t we? But you bear the same burden I do, little brother. Sitting up all night by my bedside won’t help either of us.”

It was a cruel truth; Ludger was unable to argue.

A hand fell onto Ludger’s shoulder. “...I have to agree with him,” Jude offered. “You had a long day, too, Ludger.”

“...Fine.” He looked up at Jude, finally relenting. “But I want to get up with you to check on him every hour.”

Julius shook his head slightly, but said nothing, closing his eyes again. Jude couldn’t refute him, either. “Alright, fair enough. Come on.”

Ludger, at last, stood from his chair with one last look at his brother, who was already falling back into slumber. Jude’s hand slid from his shoulder, and tapped his wrist in a gesture to follow him out of the room.

In the hallway, Jude spoke in a hushed whisper, so as not to disturb the other sleeping patients. “We don’t have any spare beds tonight,” he admitted, “But you can share mine, as long as that’s alright with you.”

He followed Jude through a door at the end of the hallway, into what he assumed was the Mathis’s living quarters—it didn’t seem all that different from the clinic, though. There were no pictures on the walls, no heirlooms or trinkets. There wasn’t a single homey touch about the place.

Jude’s room was only slightly different. There was furniture along the walls, shelves that held a small collection of books, and a small desk facing the window. It was kept very neat, but mostly because it was so empty. Ludger wondered how different it might have looked when Jude was actually living here—based on the impression he got from Jude’s parents, though, he suspected it would still be kept very much like this.

There was, however, no bed in the room. Jude was pulling a small futon out of a dresser drawer.

Ludger helped him unfold it on the floor and lay the sheets and blankets out over it. It was clearly only meant for one person, and it was much smaller than any bed they had shared so far—though, still bigger than the backseat of the car.

Jude looked heavily embarrassed. “Sorry, it’s… not much.”

Ludger shook his head. “It’s fine. Thanks.”

Jude smiled, and fluffed the pillow a bit. “I’ve actually… never really had someone else in here with me before. It’s even smaller than I thought it was.”

“...Didn’t you grow up here? You never had any friends over?”

“Well. I didn’t exactly… have a lot of friends to invite over.” Jude rubbed the back of his head. “Other than Leia, of course. And I mean, she’s been here, but she probably only came to this part of the house a handful of times. We always went to her place to hang out.”

The more Ludger heard about Jude’s childhood, the more desolate it sounded.

“That seems… kind of lonely.”

Jude was quiet for just a little too long.

“...Yeah. It was.”

He shook his head, and pulled the blanket back, offering a place for Ludger. “Anyway, how are you doing? With Julius, and all.”

Ludger blinked, but crawled under the covers, as close to the edge of the futon as possible to leave space for Jude. “I’m… fine. He’s safe. I think I’ll feel better once I can have a real conversation with him, though.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.”

Jude turned off the light, then slid under the covers next to Ludger in the dark. They both shifted and turned, attempting to find the most comfortable way to arrange their limbs in such close quarters. When they finally settled, Jude had turned to face away from Ludger, curled up on his side as usual.

Somewhere in the room, a clock quietly ticked. For some reason, despite the events of the day before, Ludger was still a little nervous to touch him with too much ease. Was it because they both had family in the house? Because they were in Jude’s childhood bedroom?

He finally gave in, mostly because he had no good place for his limbs, and wrapped his arms around Jude’s waist.

He wasn’t sure why he thought it would be weird at all. As soon as his touch landed on Jude, he leaned back into him, comfortably fitting their bodies together. Ludger smiled and let his eyes drift closed, until the clock chimed again, pulling them from the futon to ask Julius the same handful of questions.

At seven o’clock sharp, when Jude and Ludger dragged themselves out of the covers once again, they found Julius awake for the first time.

“Morning,” he greeted them. He was sitting up against the headboard, and waved his splinted wrist in a wide, slow motion. He seemed perfectly normal, and the last of Ludger’s worry melted away. He smiled, and sat down in his chair while Jude asked his questions, making more notes on Julius’s chart.

“How are you feeling?” Jude asked, once he had confirmed Julius’s awareness was up to par.

“Not bad, actually. You really fixed me up. I owe you one.”

“I’m glad I could help—” Jude responded, but he was cut off by the door suddenly opening.

The doctor from yesterday—Jude’s father, though they still hadn’t properly been introduced—stood in the doorway.

“Jude, I need your assistance,” he said with harsh urgency. “Two of our patients came down with pneumonia.”

Before Jude could respond, he was turning to leave again. Jude quickly set Julius’s chart down again and dutifully hurried after him.

Ludger and Julius made eye contact, heavy, unspoken guilt settling between them both.

“How’s your wrist?” Ludger asked, avoiding the subject he knew they’d need to address eventually.

Julius shrugged. “Sore, but you know I’ve had worse. A few broken bones are just the usual.”

_A few broken bones_ had also been accompanied this time by dislocation, some heavy bruising, and a good amount of blood loss.

With the splint on his wrist, Julius wasn’t wearing his usual left glove. The old, bubbly-looking burn scar from Ludger’s first kitchen accident peeked out of the splint, visible on the backs of his fingers. From the other side of the splint, long, white tendril-like scars stretched up his arm, a reminder of their worst encounter with lightning.

Julius was right. They’d both had worse. This could have been _much_ worse.

“...Thank goodness you and Jude were driving by,” Julius continued, and Ludger nodded vehemently.

“This is all thanks to Jude. I wouldn’t have been there without him.”

Julius was silent for a moment. “...How did you meet him? Tell me what you’ve been up to.”

Ludger sank into the chair beside the bed. “Well… he just picked me up off the side of the road, a couple weeks ago.” A certain warmth spread through his chest. “Though I was just lost, not injured like you.”

“You got lost?”

“Well, I never really found a direction to begin with.”

Julius chuckled, understanding all too well.

“Since I started traveling with Jude, though, I’ve actually gotten somewhere. I found answers, I have… some idea. Any idea.”

Talking with his brother was easy and familiar. Ludger, who was so often quiet, was suddenly bursting with words, with stories, recounting their adventures and troubles from Sharilton to Nia Khera.

The clock in the hallway chimed eight, and Ludger cut off in the middle of what he thought was a particularly good Ivar imitation.

Jude still hadn’t returned.

“...We don’t know that it’s our fault,” Julius said firmly, seeing right through Ludger. Of course he knew what was bothering him; the same guilt ran in his veins, too.

But Ludger sighed. “I… do know, actually.”

“What?”

“In Nia Khera, the witches we met said we harbor negative energy, from the curse. It can leech onto the people around us.”

Another silence fell between them. When Ludger found Julius’s eyes again, they were full of gentle concern.

“...Lara was unhappy,” Ludger continued, since Julius was clearly already thinking it, “So the curse made her sick. It… killed her.”

“You can’t fault yourself for that,” Julius insisted, but Ludger shook his head.

“Can’t I? Even if I didn’t mean to kill her, she was still stuck with us because I was reckless.” He wasn’t sure what was worse to be confirmed by this information; the fact that the curse had killed Lara, or the fact she was certainly unhappy, more susceptible to the negativity that seeped from his pores.

“It wasn’t just you, Ludger.” Julius’s voice was firm again. “She lived with all of us. If she had only been with you… maybe she would have been okay. Maybe things would have been better for both of you.”

Ludger’s shoulders sank. This guilt and grief had been housed in his heart for so long now, he’d almost begun to think he had moved on; he’d mourned her death, but their relationship had been broken long before she passed. However, now the idea that they could have had a happy marriage, despite the circumstances, if only he and Julius had separated earlier…

It wasn’t worth entertaining. He hadn’t been ready to move away from Julius. He still wasn’t, even as they were forced apart. He wouldn’t have traded that time with his brother, even for Lara’s life.

That only made the guilt in his chest more potent. Maybe he was just a careless, selfish person after all.

The door to the room opened, and Jude entered, looking a little worse for wear. His eyebrows were pulled together in a way that hinted at frustration, mixed with the exhaustion from interrupted sleep. He was wearing a white lab coat over his clothes—Ludger thought it would suit him, if he didn’t look so disheveled.

“Jude?”

Jude shook his head, closing his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, they were on Julius. “How are you doing?”

“Better than you, by the looks of it,” Julius answered him. “The other patients… aren’t doing so well?”

“It’s strange,” Jude said, shaking his head once more. “Everyone seemed to take a turn for the worst overnight.”

Ludger’s stomach turned. “...Is it so strange, Jude?”

Jude’s mouth dropped open, but he couldn’t seem to find an argument. Ludger could almost physically see his mind turning over the possibility.

The door opened again, and Jude’s father stood in the doorway. He, too, looked a bit disheveled, but less so than Jude. He looked past his son, his stern gaze falling on Julius, instead.

“You need to leave.” His furious eyes flicked to Ludger. “And you, too.”

“Dad!” Jude’s tone was incredulous, angry. “He’s a patient!”

“This is none of your concern, Jude, you wouldn’t understand.”

Jude clenched his fists as he had the day before, but this time, his eyes didn’t find the floor. “Would you stop dismissing me?! I’m not a child! I’m a doctor, just like you are!”

The doctor’s frown deepened, but this time he held his tongue.

“...You know about our curse, don’t you?” Julius prompted, and his tone held a certain challenge that surprised Ludger.

“It’s no coincidence that my patients’ conditions are worsening. I know what a witch’s curse feels like, and I want nothing to do with yours.”

“What do you know?” Julius asked darkly.

“It’s none of your business what I know.”

“Dad,” Jude pressed, his knuckles turning white, but he was interrupted before he could continue.

“I’ve no idea how you got involved in this, Jude. You should have come home once you graduated instead of wasting your time. You could get hurt just by being around them, don’t be a fool.”

Ludger stood from his chair, but Jude held up his arm, signaling for him to stand down. Ludger opened his mouth anyway.

“I thought your job was to _help_ people.”

The doctor's eyes narrowed in disdain. “How dare you. I'm working for the greater good, here. As long as the two of you are around, I _can’t_ heal these people.”

“I get it. We’ll leave.” Ludger’s voice dripped with repulsion. “But if you ask me, Jude’s doing more good out there than you are. The least you could do is give a decent explanation to the patients you’re kicking to the street.”

“The way I choose to run my clinic is none of your business!” the man retorted, raising his voice.

“We’ll go,” Jude interrupted firmly. “Give us a few minutes to get our things together.”

“You plan to go with them?!” his father spat, and Jude looked at him defiantly.

“Your solution is to amputate the infected area, but a real doctor would treat the cause.”

“You’re naïve. You have to learn when to sever something that’s meaningless. You can’t help everyone, Jude.”

“I can still try.”

The doctor clicked his tongue and shook his head, then turned to leave the room. “I raised a fool,” he spat.

Jude waited until his father slammed the door behind him, then turned and punched the wall. Neither Ludger nor Julius flinched.

Ludger wordlessly put his hand on his shoulder, squeezing it firmly. Very slowly, Jude deflated, his raw, curled fist dropping to hang at his side.

“It isn’t fair,” he said, voice shaking with unconcealed anger.

“It’s something we’re accustomed to,” Julius assured him, shaking his head. “His bedside manner is poor, but he did have a point. As long as we’re affecting the patients here, we can’t stay.”

Jude’s eyes, locked on the wall, slid shut, and he took a long, deep breath. He stayed that way for a moment, apparently grounding himself, before his eyes flew open again. He nodded, turning his head to look at Julius. When he spoke again, his voice was more even, almost back to normal. _Almost._

“It’s best that you rest for another day before traveling.”

“...Fair enough,” Julius agreed. “Is there an inn in town?”

A ghost of a smile graced Jude’s lips, just for a moment. “...There is. I should probably stop by, anyway.”


	16. Waiting For the Other Shoe

The Leronde Lodge held all the warmth that Mathis Clinic lacked. The air inside smelled of scented candles and home cooking, and the entire atmosphere seemed to pull Ludger further in, reminding him what a home _should_ feel like. As soon as they stepped inside, a large man in a pink apron behind the counter called out to them.

“Jude!”

The man’s expression was surprised, but clearly overjoyed. Little tears shone in his eyes.

“Hi, Uncle Warrick,” Jude answered him politely, with a light air of embarrassment. “Long time no see.”

Ludger stood with an arm around Julius’s back. He could stand well enough on his own, but his badly bruised legs made him stagger enough to keep him concerned.

“Who are your friends?” Warrick asked him, his eyes on Julius now. “…Is the clinic out of beds?”

Jude hesitated, bringing his hand up to the back of his neck. “No, we, uh… we had a little issue with Dad.”

Ludger’s eyes wandered around the lobby. The interior was soft, homey. Blue cloth covered the front desk; it appeared old, just a little worn around the edges, but well taken care of. Nothing held the stiff, professional air of the clinic they’d left.

“We’d like to book a room, if it’s not too much trouble,” Jude continued.

“No need, we always have room for you, Jude,” Warrick said gently. Ludger’s head raised to look at the man, surprised by the immediacy of his response. Beside him, Jude’s shoulders relaxed slightly—he’d needed to hear it. “I’ll put you in the first room at the top of the stairs, but make sure you come down for dinner. Sonia will want to see you, too.”

Jude finally smiled a little. “I’m sure I’ll get an earful from her for staying away for so long,” he said, but there was no trace of the bitterness he showed with his father.

He finally turned back to Ludger and Julius, and nodded toward the stairs. They followed him into the first room, and Jude got to work setting up a small medical station, working out of his first aid kit.

“I want to change your bandages before you settle down, Julius,” he said, “just to make sure they’re clean and dry after moving you.”

“Sure. I appreciate it, doc,” Julius answered him, sitting down carefully on the edge of one of the beds.

Jude chuckled a little, though he looked vaguely uncomfortable. “You can just call me Jude.”

“Thanks, Jude.”

There were two beds, side by side in the room. It was a standard, cozy hotel room—yet it held more feeling than even Jude’s childhood bedroom had. In the back of his mind, Ludger registered that he’d be sharing a bed with Jude again. He wondered how that would feel, in the same room as his brother.

He sat down on the bed across from them, watching Jude’s careful fingers unwrap his brother’s wounds. Beneath the thick bandages, Ludger could see clearly that the road had reduced Julius’s shoulder to hamburger.

“Friends of yours?” Julius asked, while Jude gently cleaned the injured area, patting the torn skin dry again.

“You could say that,” Jude answered thoughtfully. He glanced at Ludger, and forced a smile. “My friend Leia’s parents.”

“They seem pleasant,” Julius continued, wincing.

“Uncle Warrick’s nice, but you don’t want to cross Master Sonia. She taught us both judo when we were kids; she’s terrifying.”

Ludger felt himself smiling. Contrasting with his words, Jude’s tone held nothing but fond warmth. “They’re like family to you,” Ludger offered aloud, but Jude’s hands stilled for a moment.

“I guess they are. I sure spent a lot of time here as a kid, anyway.” He looked at Ludger with an uncomfortable guilt behind his eyes. “Maybe I should have come back and visited more.”

“There’s still plenty of time to do that,” Julius cut in. “They aren’t going anywhere, are they?”

Jude blinked, then set his features in determination. “Right. Of course, you’re right.” He picked up a fresh roll of gauze, then sighed again, shoulders drooping. “As long as I survive.”

Ludger sat up straighter in alarm. _Survive?!_

  


* * *

  


_“Jude!”_

Ludger nearly tripped down the stairs. The quiet, peaceful air of the lodge was split by the harsh exclamation. Julius caught Ludger’s arm, and Ludger looked back at him sheepishly. Leave it to Julius to save him while he’s already so injured.

Jude, on the other hand, didn’t seem caught off guard at all. He snapped to attention, standing up straighter with a hint of fear in his eyes—but his head was held high, unlike the display he showed in front of his own parents.

“Hi, Master Sonia,” Jude answered, meeting the eyes of the woman at the base of the stairs. She was a short, stout little woman, but the stern look in her eyes told Ludger that she wasn’t the housewife she seemed at a glance.

“How long did you think you could stay away? You better not have been slacking on your training.”

Jude rubbed the back of his head, and descended the rest of the way down the staircase. “Of course not.”

Sonia’s hands were on her hips, leveling with Jude as he reached the ground floor. He met her eyes, and finally, she smiled.

“It’s good to see you, Jude.”

He smiled back at her, genuinely. “It’s… good to be back. Sorry it took me so long.”

“Leia will be disappointed she missed you.” She looked up to where Ludger and Julius still stood. “Come down and eat, all of you.”

 _All of you._ The words brought a lump to Ludger’s throat. The kindness wasn’t only extended to him, but to Julius, as well.

He missed Elle.

  


* * *

  


Warrick’s cooking was some of the best Ludger could remember eating—or maybe he’d just set his standards too low, recently. Ludger had honestly always preferred home cooking to fancier meals, anyway, and that’s exactly what the Rolandos had to provide. Several other guests came down to join them, and sat around the table as though they weren’t all perfect strangers. The roast chicken and potatoes warmed Ludger to his core.

Ludger and Julius returned to their room alone, after Sonia had hauled Jude off to her dojo. Ludger briefly wondered whether Jude actually _had_ kept up his training like he’d said.

“Should we change your bandages again?” Ludger wondered aloud, as he helped Julius settle down on one of the beds. His brother shook his head.

“Jude was thorough enough before, and I haven’t had to move too much. I imagine I’ll be fine until morning.”

Julius took his glasses off with a sigh, and set them carefully on the little table that separated the two beds. With his eyes closed, he smiled—the warm, melancholy smile that Ludger had clung to, that he had missed so much.

“It’s been a while since I could share a meal with you,” Julius said quietly. “Next time, I hope you’re the one cooking, though.”

Ludger sat on the edge of the bed, swallowing the returning lump in his throat. “Warrick’s food was good, though, wasn’t it?”

Julius laughed softly. “Sure, it was good—though he could stand to use a few more tomatoes.”

He opened his eyes and smiled wider at Ludger, who couldn’t help but return it in full.

For now, moments with Julius were short, and left much unsaid between them. Ludger did his best not to be disappointed when his brother’s eyes shut again, taking him to sleep. He should have been grateful he was resting, continuing to heal—but as a Kresnik, he was far too aware of how precious _time_ was.

And that time seemed to just _go._ The digital clock on the nightstand was merciless, taking the minutes from him while Julius lay still in front of him, his chest rising and falling—

He couldn’t keep doing this.

Ludger stood. Left the room quietly. Took a seat in the chair just outside.

There were too many thoughts in his head, too many ideas he’d shoved down again and again, that he’d been too afraid to address. At least in the hall, there was no clock to leer down at Ludger, threatening him with every second passed.

A guest’s footsteps sounded quietly from the stairs, but Ludger didn’t look up until a body took the seat beside him. His eyes found Jude’s amber ones, and he smiled lightly.

“Hey. You’re not beaten up too badly, are you?”

“I’ll have a few bruises,” Jude confirmed, shaking his head. “Without Leia, it’s not like I had anyone to spar with in school. Master Sonia was right; I got pretty rusty.”

“But you survived,” Ludger pointed out. Jude laughed.

“Yeah, I did, this time.”

Ludger’s gaze fell back on his hands, clasped in his lap.

“What are you doing out here?” Jude asked him after a beat of silence.

Ludger sighed, and shrugged a bit. “…Avoiding, I guess.”

“Avoiding what, exactly?”

“I’m not really sure.”

Jude’s hand fell over his, and Ludger’s grasp on his own fingers loosened. He only hesitated a second, then turned his hand palm-up, to accept Jude’s fingers.

“Will you feel better when we’re moving again?”

“Probably,” Ludger answered, but then shook his head a little. “…Maybe.”

“What’s on your mind?”

“Just… the same old guilt, I guess.” He tried and failed to offer Jude a smile. “Don’t worry about me. How are you doing?”

Jude frowned at him a little. “Me? I’m fine.”

Ludger raised an eyebrow at him, and Jude faltered.

“It’s always… a little rough, coming home. But it really is nice to see Master Sonia and Uncle Warrick.”

“You _do_ have a home to come back to, even without Leia here.”

Jude smiled a little. “Yeah. You’re right. I really shouldn’t dismiss them like I have been—they’ve always been here, looking out for me.”

“I’m glad you have them.”

Jude squeezed his hand. “Thanks, Ludger.” A brief silence fell between them again, and Jude sighed. “…I’m sorry about Dad, though.”

“Is he usually like that?”

“Yeah, sort of. I never would have expected him to kick someone out of the clinic, though. He’s… hard-headed, but he’s devoted to his patients, at least.”

Ludger leaned back a little on the bench. “He had a point, though. There was no doubt Julius and I were affecting the patients. What was he supposed to do?”

Jude’s brow furrowed, staring hard at the floor in front of them. Ludger continued.

“Now that Julius is here, too, our luck is sort of… stacked. Things were hard enough when it was just me, but with both of us together, our odds are _really_ bad.”

Jude looked up at him suddenly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Ludger’s stomach twisted in guilt and fear, but there was some relief there, too. “…I thought you’d say that.”

“And I’m not going to ask you to leave him behind, either.”

A breath he didn’t know he’d been holding left Ludger’s lungs. How did Jude just seem to know what he needed to hear, every time? “We probably shouldn’t stay here after tonight, though. I don’t want to bring anything bad to the lodge.”

“We can leave in the morning,” Jude agreed softly. “Julius is recovering well, I imagine he’ll be fine to travel.”

Ludger nodded, then turned, dropping his forehead onto Jude’s shoulder. Jude’s cheek pressed against the top of his head, while his hand raised to rest in his hair. He smelled lightly of sweat. Ludger took in a deep breath of it.

“If you feel our curse start to affect you, though, you have to tell me.”

Jude hummed, and Ludger felt lips brush his ear. “I’ll be fine, Ludger, I promise.”


End file.
